Sunday Shoutout Replies: What Does a Young Adult Need to Know/Study?

Sunday Shoutout Replies: What Does a Young Adult Need to Know/Study? September 1, 2013

Answers to last week’s question

teaisbetterthanthis: Academics aside, kids need to learn how to communicate with others based on setting, their relationship to that person, context, and so on. And not just in the context of authority figure/subordinate or with people just like them. EVERYONE needs to know how to communicate with a boss, a coworker, a neighbor, a customer service representative, a customer, a good friend, an acquaintance, and a stranger, because those are all important but vastly different conversational partners.

It’s not enough to be able to comprehend and immediately obey an authority figure or chatter with like-minded church pals. What about workplace conversations? Or personal conversations in public spaces? When you’ve grown up in an environment that prioritizes religion (or politics), how do you know when those topics are appropriate conversation? What about that first classmate (or coworker) who is vastly different from you? How do you know you’ve gone from talking TO someone to talking AT them? These are important skills.

Neadods: Like Indpendent Thinker, I think that learning to think and learn is paramount. With those tools, young adults can learn to properly assess how to deal with temptations and situations that they haven’t been drilled for. (Drilling and rote memorization do not teach how to deal with the complexities of real life, they just teach how to answer questions someone else has already thought of and answered.)

That said, teenagers should be taught:
– Basic math, science, history, literature, civics, writing; hopefully with as little spin or indoctrination as possible. Show them both sides of the history and politics!

– Budgeting. Let them wipe out on their allowance and do without what they want when there is someone else there to be sure that they don’t go without what they need.

THAT MISTAKES ARE INEVITABLE and how to recover from/apologize for/move on after them. It seems that so much of the fundie indoctrination is to be perfect, or at least look that way, and then what do you do when you inevitably fail?

– How to make decisions. Again, this is best practiced when failure isn’t going to be horrible. Let the kids make decisions and argue why that is the correct course of action and then… let whatever’s going to happen, happen.

– How to take basic care of yourself. This isn’t gender-based: EVERYBODY should know how to cook a simple meal and clean up after it, do laundry, mend a seam or a loose button, fix a pinhole leak, test a malfunctioning device to know if the problem is in the device, cord, or outlet, reset a thrown circuit breaker, sweep, mop.

Lolly: Kids have a lot of access to a lot of information and a familiarity with global issues at a very young age that was not even dreamed of when I was growing up. Everything is so different now, that I’m the one who is doing the learning. Instead of being a top down approach to learning, my kids teach me and in turn I can better find resources and directions for them. I can’t do it without them, if I focused on whatever I knew growing up and that’s that, then I think I would be doing a huge disservice to them.

That being said, some of my fave prep topics are the dangers of credit, the dangers of authority, to remember that everyone has an agenda and to find what that is, to look critically at what pours out of corporate media. So we question, question, question, like ‘what do you think that person meant when she said that?” kind of thing.

Theo Darling: My parents taught me “the dangers of credit” and the dangers of ever being in debt for any reason at any point in your life. They’ve had their foundation shaken with the economic crisis, so I understand where their panic is coming from, but the advice they’ve hammered into me is not only questionable (most of it is courtesy of Dave Ramsey, who is known for spreading financial fallacies and just plain bad “facts”), but unhelpful. This mindset kept me virtually paralyzed for a long time when it came to my own education and my future–I was too afraid to take the necessary loans, even the federal ones, to go to college, and there’s no way in hell I was ever going to be afford it out of pocket in the next few decades. So I was trapped at home, which is exactly where they wanted me.

I think a better alternative to teaching kids that credit is literally the worst thing and that debt will ruin their lives would be teaching them /how to navigate/ the process of building credit (which they ARE going to need). How to research, understand, and make carefully-considered decisions about loans and repayments. What to do if something unexpected happens and they’re in unforseen financial trouble.

Independent Thinker: Ironically, I recently read Dr. Phil’s Life Code. Believe it or not the book is pretty good. The three things I took away from reading it is the number of con artist in the world continues to grow. You need to be able to spot those people. Also, until someone has earned your trust don’t assume they are looking out in your best interest. The other thing I took away from the book is know who you are dealing with. Does the person have a long criminal history, several failed marriages, never stays at a job more than a few months, etc? If they do try to figure out why they are surrounded by so much instability and proceed with caution. The days of trusting someone just because you live in the same town or go to the same church are done and over with. You have to teach your children to proceed with caution not everyone is looking out in your best interest. Trust should be earned not given away because of a title, association, or perception of likeminded values.

Hannah: I’ve been trying to think how to verbalize my opinion. The best I can come up with is: The world does not care about your “shoulds”. There should be no premarital sex? Never gonna happen. America should be a “Christian” nation? Sorry, was never intended to be so. Women should be stay at home moms? Never going to be a universal. People don’t care what you think the world “should” be like. They care about what it IS like, and live accordingly, rather than trying to live up to what they’re told to want. What you should want isn’t necessarily what you really want, or even necessarily in any way good for you. Kids need to learn to deal with the real world rather than hiding from it, and learn that although it doesn’t follow a series of “shoulds”, life is complicated, messy, and overall really great.

Shuttergirl46q: I will consider myself a successful parent if, by age 18, my child can read, do math, look up what he doesn’t know, hold a job, balance a checkbook, make a budget, pay his bills, make meals (cereal for supper counts lol), sort and properly clean laundry, do housework do general maintenance on his home and vehicle, communicate respectfully and thoroughly, help others, smile, laugh and pray.

Comments open below

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment‘ by Janet Heimlich

Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce


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