News: Jill Duggar Courting

News: Jill Duggar Courting March 31, 2014

From ABC Good Morning America – ’19 Kids & Counting’ Star Jill Duggar Is Being Courted By Derick Dillard

Another Duggar is being courted.

“19 Kids & Counting” star Jill Duggar, 22, is now being courted by Derick Dillard, 25. She is the second of the Duggar daughters to enter into a romantic relationship, as Jessa, 20, has been involved with Ben Seewald since last year.

“I was really impressed with his character and I was surprised how much we have the same vision and life goals,” Jill told People magazine. “He’s a great guy.”

Jill was introduced to Derick by her father, Jim Bob, who connected with the 25-year-old Rogers, Ark., native while he was doing missionary work in Nepal.

“I had gotten an email from Derick a few years ago and gave him my phone number so he could share the work he was doing in Nepal,” Jim Bob told the magazine. “I was impressed with him as I got to know him over the years. He sounded like an amazing young man. I felt like from the beginning, they had similar personalities and goals. I thought they would hit it off.”

After texting and Skyping with one another (while being supervised by her parents), the two finally met late last year and began courting in November. For Jill, the connection was instantaneous.

“We got to know each other in the first few months pretty quickly,” Jill explained. “I was in love with someone I had never met in person, but we really knew each other well.”

Though much of their relationship has been long-distance, he said he already feels like he fits in with her and her family.

“We have a large pool of chaperones,” he told the magazine. “You have to come in armed with good jokes and I usually have Skittles as well. It has been such a huge blessing to get to see her a few times a week.”

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  • Nea

    I was in love with someone I had never met in person, but we really knew each other well.

    No. No you don’t. You know the persona he showed Daddy, not the persona he will show you when you are alone. And you’ll never know that until it’s too late because your Daddy doesn’t trust you or his parenting enough to give you a moment alone.

  • ArmyChick

    Exactly. And God forbid his ADULT daughters have a mind of their own and are able to choose who they want to date.

  • Carry

    And God double forbid any of his kids dare to choose to stay single, or at least wait until they’re at an older age beyond their early 20’s.

  • texcee

    Gotta get ’em married when they’re still young enough to start popping out babies.

  • tulips

    Isn’t oldest daughter at least mid twenties by now? She’s always sort of curiously absent from headlines.

  • tulips

    “Well” is of course understood to mean “Not at all, we’re barely acquainted and have never met in person”. Arranged marriage.

  • Astrin Ymris

    It’s amazing how men who meet Jim Bob’s exacting standards are suddenly popping out of the woodwork, right when the show needs a new gimmick, since it’s clear their title isn’t going to change again. /sarc

  • Mel

    As an adult woman who met my husband online and dated in the mainstream USA fashion, I can’t imagine how awkward newlywed life will be for these women. Jill and Jessa have never been alone with their soon-to-be husbands….ever.

    When you meet someone you are attracted to, the first months are full of a wonderful glow from the pleasure of getting to know a new person and budding sexual attraction. This glow is present even when the person you are meeting would make a terrible spouse. (Yes, you can fall in love with abusive people. You can also fall in love with a great person who has personality characteristics that will make a marriage between the two of you rocky, painful and leave you both unhappy)

    Dating has some real advantages to courtship. By spending time in relationships with different people, you can learn what personality characteristics your partner must have, and must not have. In my life, I dated a really, really nice man who was in a steady job and treated me respectfully. Our relationship, though, was doomed by the fact I crave learning new things. He viewed additional education/enrichment as a waste of time and money. We parted ways by mutual agreement and I learned that I needed a life partner who is passionate about learning.

    The Duggar women (and I hate that people call them girls) will never have a chance to learn those lessons before marriage…..and that makes me sad for them.

  • Mel

    I’d wondered about that, too. Weddings make good TV. Too bad marriages are far longer lasting and have more pitfalls than a good party.

  • Astrin Ymris

    According to Wikipedia, eldest daughter Jana just turned 24 this January. Hardly an “old maid” by secular standards, thought it DOES seem odd that she’s being left out of this recent rush to the altar.

    Maybe she’s the one who’s been tapped, Victorian-style, to remain at home to be “a comfort to her mother”? Or maybe the system can’t hold up to losing HER unpaid labor as well as Jessa and Jill’s. Or maybe they fear that Jinger will revolt and bolt if the entire job of making up for Michelle’s maternal shortcomings falls on her shoulders.

    Or maybe, as NeaDods suggested, Jana doesn’t want to abandon “her” children?

  • Astrin Ymris

    Having been denied the chance to experience much of life or exert any agency over their own, in many ways they ARE developmentally arrested in the stage of being “girls”. It’s sad, but true.

  • texcee


  • Nea

    I’m with Astrin. They have not been allowed to grow up. Age may rank them as women, but in experience and emotion I doubt they are actually at age-appropriate development.

    Having said that, you are SO right about the need to figure out what you need and do not want to live with. As far as I can tell with the other Duggar courtship, the family seems to think that religious compatibility is the only kind that matters.

  • Saraquill

    Are the Duggar parents that scared of lower ratings?

  • Nea

    Do they have any other way of making that kind of money?

  • tulips

    It is the only consideration when selling an appliance/daughter.

  • Nea

    Certainly the only one when selling an image!

  • Mel

    To me, calling them girls feels like an unconscious method of justifing the absurbly sheltered existence foisted them by their parents. And if they are not adults yet, they will be soon. Marriage to a stranger and a life based on child production with few economic resources is, I image, deeply sobering.

  • Thomas McCabe

    The Skyping was fully supervised because who knows what they might have got up to talking to each other by themselves. She’s 22, for goodness sake. She needs a chaperone on the phone?

  • How did courtship work before the Internet? The dad said “Hey, I think this guy 4 states over that I met during a trip would be great for you. Why don’t you start writing each other letters and see if you click? Of course, I’ll have to read them to make sure nothing is inappropriate. Oh, and if you call, I’ll be here in the room. If things go good, then maybe you’d like to meet him in person a few times before the wedding. What wedding? The one that’s already planned, so I hope it works out!”

  • B.E. Miller

    But if they don’t have a chaperone, they might start talking dirty to each other! Or masturbating in front of each other! *gasp* /end sarcasm

    And here I remember that time my teen cousin would spend hours on the phone talking to teen boys. My aunt said of it, “At first I didn’t like it. Then I thought about it. At least I know where she is and what she’s doing. Then I didn’t mind it anymore.” (*hears Jason Derulo’s, “Talk Dirty.”)

  • Lana

    I’m used used to dads introducing their daughters to guys. If a girl has to stay at home all the time, she will have trouble meeting guys unless the dad helps out.

  • ArmyChick

    And that’s where the problem lies. Not to mention that’s pretty darn creepy.

  • Lana

    Right. That’s my bigger issue with the Duggars. Why do their daughters have to stay home until they marry? That’s cruel. And it’s going to hit the eldest daughter hard if her younger sisters get married first – much harder than if she had her own place and was pursing her own dreams.

  • Anne

    She seems very quiet. If there is any “political” strategy or order of marriage that the parents are planning, I’m sure she’d be a willing pawn. Or maybe she just hasn’t decided what sort of life she wants to marry into.

  • Anne

    I felt so sad for Jinger… it seems like she and Jessa were close and with Jessa leaving it’s hard on her. I’ve always gotten the feeling that she was less likely to toe the line, so I’m wondering if she’ll be included in the marriage rush or be held back.

  • Anne

    Yeah. Years without nothing and then BAM. I’m really betting you that there will be at least one engagement announcement this season.

  • Anne

    I can second this somewhat. At 15 I was very adult like in many ways (cooking, caring for a ton of kids), but extremely naive and childlike in others. It wasn’t a well rounded development.

  • tulips

    I honestly have no idea, but she and her brother always seem to be marginal to this outsider.

  • Astrin Ymris

    That’s a valid point.

    Still, on a ‘Supernatural’ forum I participate on, we commonly say “the boys” when referring to the Winchester brothers, even though they’re both men in their thirties now.

    BTW, it just occurred to me that Dean Winchester has a lot in common with the oldest Duggar daughters! He was raised in a esoteric belief system that few in the outside world shared. He was expected to sacrifice all normal outside attachments to this belief system, he was expected to remain under paternal authority even after adulthood… and he wound up raising his own younger sibling.


  • Anne

    Yes. I’m surprised John-David hasn’t found someone yet either. It seems like it would be fairly easy for the guys. No lack of waiting “maidens” sitting in their parents’ houses for him to pick from.

  • Anne

    I doubt the daughters even know female pleasure or masturbation exists, much less have the ability to “dirty talk”. It’s time for the parents to trust their parenting and let go for heck’s sake.