Quoting Quiverfull: Fear or Pride – Your Choice?

Quoting Quiverfull: Fear or Pride – Your Choice? March 31, 2014

by R. C. Sproul Jr. from  Highland Ministries – They Labor In Vain, Or a Funny Thing Happened While I Preached My Daughter’s Wedding

Just a few days ago I was privileged to be able to preach at a rather significant occasion, the wedding ceremony of my first-born. Darby was, like her mother, not just a beautiful and radiant bride, but a diligent, faithful laborer in bringing the event together. When I told her I would like to preach from Psalm 127 I could tell she was a smidge reluctant to give her approval. Perhaps she feared that I would chasten her and her new husband to remember that children are a blessing from the Lord, and I wanted grandbabies, and soon. Perhaps she feared that I would take the occasion to sing her praises, affirming rightly that she is a powerful weapon for the kingdom, and that because of her I am able to sit at the gates unashamed.

If so, her fears were misplaced. Instead I argued that while the choices families like ours have made, rooted in the blessed truth that children are a blessing from the Lord—homeschooling, large families, courtship, that these sound wisdom applications come with a temptation—that we will think these decisions are what establish, define, protect our homes. The devil is always there to assault us with fear—what if we’re doing it wrong? What if we’re too strict, or not strict enough? If fear won’t work he comes at us with his most potent weapon—pride—aren’t we something, the super-together homeschool family with smiling, obedient children?

Starting a family is scary business. Of all the major life decisions we make, this one is the most irrevocable. Of all the life circumstances we find ourselves in, this one is the most all-inclusive. Of all the pain we are in danger of, this one cuts the deepest. Of all the arenas in which we do battle, this is the one where sin is most destructive. The solution, however, isn’t to steel ourselves against the dangers, to bow down and grab our bootstraps to lift ourselves to higher ground.

Psalm 127, after all, doesn’t tell us that unless we construct systems to seal sin out of our homes we labor in vain to protect them. It doesn’t tell us if we stay up late reading Secrets to Ensuring a Happy Homeschooling Family then you will succeed. What it tells us instead is that we won’t succeed. It is the Lord who establishes our homes. He and His grace are our only hope.

Comments open below

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment‘ by Janet Heimlich

Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce


Browse Our Archives

Follow Us!

What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • texcee

    Here’s a clue — people don’t like “preaching” at a wedding. Save it for another occasion. Don’t start preaching at a funeral, either. The bereaved family is suffering enough. If you feel like you have to preach, then do it on Sunday morning in church. At least most of the people who show up will be there expecting a sermon.

  • Jewel

    LOL, I thought the same thing. Darby was probably secretly thinking, “Can’t we just go to the justice of the peace and skip Dad altogether?”.

  • Saraquill

    So his daughter’s wedding is all about him, apparently.

  • Nea

    Aren’t all the patriarchal weddings about Daddy?

  • I liked how he “argued”. Apparently the “Dearly beloved…do you/don’t you…kiss” wasn’t enough.

  • Was the groom given permission to smack the bride around a little like dad alleged did mom? Oh, my bad for mentioning that?

  • guest

    This! That is exactly what I don’t like at weddings. You can get it so wrong! I deeply regret having a preaching at mine (Ephesians 5, complementarian, of course!), and writing what I thought were “biblical vows”.
    A wedding should be a celebration of the love of the bride and groom, and some honoring of the parents (if applicable, sometimes it’s best to stick to just celebrating the couple).

    I agree with his final point at a Christian wedding. Build your home on the grace of Jesus. It sure beats the whole “husband is the leader, wife should submit to his leadership” stuff.