Quoting Quiverfull: Is This How You Should Speak About Your Spouse?

Quoting Quiverfull: Is This How You Should Speak About Your Spouse? April 30, 2014

by Spencer Harmon from his blog Unspoken – My Wife Has Tattoos: Marriage, New Birth and the Gospel

This has been all over the internet this weekend, provoking many different reactions: some people thinking it’s awesome and those that think it’s awful. Someone on our NLQ Support group on Facebook said it should have been titled ‘King Cophetua meets Beggar Maid’ What do you think dear readers?

Right in the middle of the mess of life, Taylor met Jesus, and he planted his flag in her life, and she believed in him and he transformed her.  The Taylor who spent her life living from one pleasure to the next died, and a new person was born.  A new person with new desires, and a new heart that longed to please God, serve people, and treasured Jesus Christ above all other pleasure.

And this is how I see Taylor.  She is completely new, completely transformed, and completely clean.  This is not because she became a part of a helpful program, or because she really “pulled herself together.” It’s because God, in his incredible, infinite kindness, took Taylor’s dark, crimson life, and made her as white as a snow.  He took all of her sins on placed them on his Son, and then gave her Jesus’ righteousness to wear like a perfect white wedding dress.


QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull honestly and thoughtfully.

Comments open below

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

13:24 – A Story of Faith and Obsession by M Dolon Hickmon

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Saraquill

    This doesn’t sound much different from those people who stand by buses, yelling “helpful testimony” at people.

  • Oh, my gosh, your wife had a past, grew, and learned from it.

    Wish I could say the same about you.

  • Nea

    I’m seeing “you can judge anyone you want for not measuring up – except back off my wife!”

  • Joy

    Does Taylor see Spencer that way too? Or is it only Christian Spencer seeing formerly-non-Christian Taylor this way? If it goes both ways, fine, if it’s only him seeing her this way – not fine. Not fine because it would have a condescending tone to it.

    (Disclaimer: I didn’t read the original article, just the quoted portion.)

  • Spencer sees Spencer as equally flawed because we are all sinners who need to be washed in the blood of the Lamb, but I don’t recall (I read it quickly) him feeling any need to see himself as flawed because of his own particular legalism, tribalism, slut shaming, spotting the mote in the eye of another and ignoring the beam in his own tendencies.

  • Bill Stauffer

    Having read about Spencer and Taylor before I read this post, I can honestly say I was troubled. Having come from an evangelical tradition where that article would be lauded, I would simply state that if you really wanted to honor the God who took the scarlet letter from her chest, you would not use her as an object lesson.

  • Allison the Great

    Ooooh tattoos! Burn her! -eyeroll-

  • Joy

    I wonder what he’d make of me, and the large number of my fellow church members who have religious tattoos? There’s more people with tattoos in my church than there are grandparents! (And at least one tattooed grandparent!)

    Oh, and my tattoo artist is from my church….

  • Nea

    I once read an argument where the guy practically turned himself inside out stating that the Biblical prohibition against piercing was Timeless, True, and To Be Obeyed — *except* for women’s earlobes, once. That was totes different and therefore not just okay, but preferable to see.

  • Belief in Jesus is not magic. it does not completely upend the personality that’s there. It’s not like being possessed by an alien. It adds another dimension, certainly, but a person’s pre-existing tastes and preferences don’t suddenly vanish. So if Taylor enjoyed a good time before Jesus, she will still enjoy a good time after Jesus.

    Unless she was partying to try to cover up some underlying issues. In which case, see my first sentence: belief in Jesus is not magic. It is also no substitute for actual professional help (if such help is needed).

    So to sum up, we are left with two possibilities:

    1) Taylor still likes to party and listen to metal and whatever and she will still want that. To the extent she’s grown out of it, it has more to do with maturity than Jesus.
    2) Taylor is trying to clean up her life but she still needs some professional help to deal with the underlying issues.

    Most likely a recipe for disaster.

  • Or maybe she doesn’t grow out of it and decides “Jesus turned water in to the best wine– once the party had already started going! Obviously Jesus approves of my partying!”

    … I heard that from someone, actually, and I kind of respect that.

  • Speaking of, I could never get one myself :/ I find a well done, and well chosen tattoo to be beautiful, but at the same time, I don’t trust myself enough to make that kind of decision….

  • Edie Moore McGee

    LOL! One of my sisters has a cross tattooed on her thigh. I wonder what he’d think of that.

  • Allison the Great

    I’ve been saving up to get a half sleeve from the artist that did my friend’s half sleeve. There are quite a few tattoos that I’ve wanted to get for years, but you have to have a great artist, and those can be expensive.

  • Allison the Great

    Psssssh. That guy sounds like a great person to ignore the shit out of. As soon as he starts talking with his self-righteous judgements on people with ink, well, that’s a good time to put in your earbuds. His opinion is meaningless.

  • Jewel

    Gosh, this could almost be really sweet and romantic, if it wasn’t just so darn steeped in religious talk.

    Why does it have to be that Jesus came and changed her from her depraved, dark, terrible past? He says at one point that she is beautiful, kind, smart, patient, etc.- is none of that inherently true of Taylor just because she is Taylor? Is it only because of Jesus? (Not discounting Jesus, I do consider myself a Christian still. But I believe God actually creates us with beautiful qualities, not that we are depraved, worthless beings until “Jesus comes along and gets ahold of us”). I am so familiar with hearing this. For example, when someone gives you a compliment on your delicious apple pie, you must respond: “Oh, it’s only because of Jesus I could even make that pie”.

    And why say “it’s not really our wedding day”, it’s about displaying the love of Christ for the church, and blah, blah, blah. Why can’t it ever be about we are madly in love and this is our wedding day and it’s gonna ROCK!!! I love Taylor!! Taylor rocks!! Or something normal like that.

    It’s like true love is not allowed in this universe.

  • Sara Lin Wilde

    I don’t think I’d be too thrilled if my husband said this about me: partly because of the undercurrent of “she used to be gross and dirty”, and partly because of the sense that I can speak for myself, thankyouverymuch.