Quoting Quiverfull: Stay Sweet?

Quoting Quiverfull: Stay Sweet? April 25, 2014

by Nancy Campbell from Above Rubies – Sour Grapes or Sweet?

I feel very sad when I see mothers with a sour face. Down in the mouth. Always a frown. And I see a lot of them. This is not God’s picture of a mother. In Psalm 128:3 God paints a picture of the wife in a home that is blessed of the Lord. It tells us that she is a ” fruitful vine” in the very heart of her home. Not only does this wife find joy in her home, but she is a fruitful vine, bringing forth luscious sweet fruit. The grapes of a wild unpruned vine are usually bitter. The fruit of a cultivated vine are sweet.

Just as God promises that “the mountains will drip sweet wine” (Amos 9:13) which is being fulfilled today on the hills of Samaria, so we wives should drip sweet wine in our homes. A sweet attitude toward our husband. Sweet words coming forth from our lips.

The husband in Song of Solomon 4:11 NET says to his wife, “Your lips drip sweetness like the honeycomb, my bride, honey and milk are under your tongue.” Dripping sweetness. Can your husband say these words to you?

Comments open below

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment‘ by Janet Heimlich

Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce


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  • texcee

    I’d rather see an honest frown than a fake smile. Going around with a mask that portrays a woman as falsely cheerful, calm, and contented, when inside she’s actually angry, depressed and miserable is dishonest and, to use a QF word, “defrauds” herself and all those around her.

  • Joy

    Maybe if some of the husbands “dripped sweetness” from their lips when talking to their wives, more of the wives would return the favour?

  • Allison the Great

    Dripping sweetness? MMMkay.

    One of the things that really bothers me about the Quiverful movement is their very unrealistic expectations for women. We’re supposed to be happy all the time, even though we are treated as second class citizens. We’re supposed to pretend that we are Jane Bennett. If we do all these things, our husbands will supposedly love us more. This to me is the most disturbing thing. As long as we play a character and not be true to ourselves, but we keep acting the part, we are loved. If we decide to be ourselves then nobody will love us or want to marry us. How fucked up is that? It’s basically saying “Yeah, God gave you a personality, but he hates it, and so do men and everyone else, so don’t be that person. Here, act like a fictional character.” I would hate to have to wake up every morning and have to get into character before I do anything else. That’s pretty much what Nancy Campbell tells women to do and it’s toxic and wrong on so many levels.

  • KarenH

    I dunno. If I knew I was going to be anywhere near Nancy Campbell, I think I’d have a hard time painting a smile on.

    Besides, just because I’m not smiling doesn’t mean I’m mad. It might mean I’m thinking and don’t have the mental space to concentrate and smile at the same time.

  • KarenH

    I wish they’d remember Jane Bennett damn near lost out on her true love because of her constantly serenity. Nobody could tell she actually LIKED Bingley except for those who knew her best.

  • Mel

    I hate how asinine these pseudo-agricultural spiels are.

    Unripe grapes are bitter – regardless of variety. Some grape varieties are more tart when ripe than others. Since I like my fruits to have a complex flavor, I prefer the more tart wild grapes than the very sweet types that are cultivated.

    I’ll also take an emotionally honest person over an emotional repressed person everyday of the week.

  • Carry

    I can’t help but think of the FLDS mantra to women: Keep sweet.

    Unfortunately, unlike Warren Jeffs, Gothard, Campbell, Pearl, Philips and the rest of them aren’t in jail.

  • Allison the Great

    Good point. If you’re too wishy-washy feminine like they want you to be, it gets old really quickly. There are a few girls at my job like that. I work at a very physical job. These girls act like Jane, and they act like all the guys are smarter than they are, no matter what they say. They’re always getting the guys to do things for them. The guys HATE it. They don’t want to babysit stupid girls. I only get the guys over if I really need them. They have shit they need to do

  • Allison the Great

    They don’t want you to think. Thinking is for men! They tell you what to believe and then you smile, accept it, and commend them for their brilliance. You are a womb-man, not a thinker! <end snark

  • gimpi1

    Stay sweet, because nothing kills a marriage faster than honest emotion?

    I honestly don’t understand how people in this movement keep their marriages together. Taken in all, they offer a true cornucopia of bad advice, toxic ideas and abusive beliefs. If I were to become a simpering dolt, “dripping sweetness like the honeycomb, my husband would run for the hills. He might not even stop to open the door.

  • “The husband in Song of Solomon 4:11 NET says to his wife, “Your lips drip sweetness like the honeycomb, my bride, honey and milk are under your tongue.” Dripping sweetness. Can your husband say these words to you?”
    This sounds to me like the sweet praises from a guy wildly in love, not a statement that she only (should) say sweet things. Song of Solomon is love poetry, not a sermon on good demeanour.

  • Nea

    Shorter version: How very dare you have real emotions!

  • Nea

    For what it’s worth, Pearl’s book has been cited in 3 child murders, Gothard has been forced to step down, and Phillips has been sued for $10 million. The tide is changing.

  • No joke! When I was trying to be the perfect submissive wife, my husband actually said “Who the hell are you trying to be? Because this is NOT what I signed up for!”
    I guess he prefers personality. What a weird guy…

  • More like: “How dare you show that you have real emotions! Your job is to be pretty. Smiles are pretty. Do you see where I’m going here?”

  • Saraquill

    If I had more children than I could feed, I think I”d be justified in not being gleeful all the gorram time.

  • This sort of thing drives me nuts. Talk about binding up heavy burdens and laying them on other’s backs! Not only are you to have 12 children, you’ve got to be happy and sweet all the time no matter how overwhelmed you are– and if you aren’t? More guilt.

  • Mirella222

    I never actually understood why Austen novels are even ALLOWED in this subculture; her novels tear their ideas about women to shreds. Let’s look at Pride and Prejudice. Elizabeth is the heroine, the one we sympathize with. And she is certainly not submissive! She rejects Collins against the wishes of her mother; she tells off her father for letting Lydia go to Brighton; she stands up to Lady Catherine like a total sass master; and to top it all off, she tears Darcy a new one the first time he proposes. And she is shown to be in the right each time. Hell, Darcy actually (horrors!) changes for the better because of her telling him exactly what she thinks of him. It is definitely not a pro wifely submission book. And Jane Bennet is shown to be a good person, but that it is foolish to always believe everyone is good and kind and to let them walk all over you…..seriously, how can anyone miss what these books are saying??

  • Allison the Great

    I’ve often wondered that myself, but in my own experiences with the extraordinarily devout, I’ve always been told that women should act like Jane Bennet, even though Jane Austen wrote Pride and Prejudice to make fun of the way things were back in the day.

  • Allison the Great

    I’ll be happy when Pearl gets sent to jail

  • Nea

    That party’ll spread across several countries.

  • Taylor Joy

    You’re a Browncoat. I officially love you. Can you imagine Zoe dripping sweetness? Gag…

  • Levedi

    Okay, this made me laugh. The metaphor in the Song of Solomon is not referring to the lips of the mouth and it’s not words that are dripping from it. Song of Solomon is so explicitly sexual I don’t know how you could miss apply this one except on purpose.

  • Not only is Phillips sued, but more importantly, Vision forum closed down. The tide is changing, indeed.

  • ILoveJellybeans

    Lol, that quote from the Song Of Solomon doesn’t mean what they think it means. Im not even a Christian and I know that it is sexual. Come on fundies, at least read the context.