Holy Sex – Part 1

Holy Sex – Part 1 May 26, 2014

by Suzanne Titkemeyer cross posted from her blog True Love Doesn’t Rape

Holy Sex The Way God Intended by Michael Pearl

I had no intention of reading and reviewing another book considering I’m way behind on reviewing both “A Love That Multiples” by Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar and the book by the Duggar daughters, “Growing Up Duggar”. Lately I’ve been approached about doing book reviews for various folks uninvolved with NLQ and my reviews of the Duggar products has slipped to the back burner.

After looking at the Pearls author page on Amazon.com on Memorial Day afternoon I saw that Michael (Woman do it MY way!) Pearl had written a book on sex. As much as the idea of Michael Pearl having sex with anyone skeeves me out I could not resist downloading and starting to read through Michael’s thoughts on having sex.

First, let me apologize. I am not Libby Anne (who is awesome and so smart!), so this isn’t going to be an intellectual take down of Pearl’s mostly vile ideas. I am someone that laughs, loves to laugh and loves to poke fun at things. This book is giving me lots of fodder for fun.

It starts with a warning. The type of warning you might see at the beginning of a Christian porn film (yes, there are Christian porn films or so I’ve been told)


This material is intended for mature audiences. Don’t read this book unless you are married, have definite plans to be married in a next few weeks, or you are an older teenager whose parents have first read it and approve of you doing so.”

What? Is the material racy enough to send some poor innocent into the arms of Masturbation Land? Will it defraud them?

On the next page Michael states:

“If you don’t think God meant for sex to be fun, this book is definitely for you.”

I think everyone would agree that sex is fun and sex in marriage is meant to be fun. How does Michael rationalize that sex is God given fun?

“The first gift God gave to man was a beautiful, naked woman”

Wasn’t that so thoughtful of God. But would Adam have known the difference if the woman was ugly and wearing itchy woolens?

Then he moves on to the ‘dirty’ part of the Bible – The Song of Songs. The fact that there is such frank talk and poetic blathering on about sex and the bride and bridegroom impresses Michael Pearl with the comfort ancient people had with ‘erotic text’. Seems like that alone might make him open to erotic fiction. Not so.

“Unlike us, they had not surrendered the pleasures and art of lovemaking to the depraved and base elements of society”

Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t these the same ancient people of Israel that were mentioned in Genesis as being completely sexually immoral during the days of Lot? The book of Genesis had a lot of incest, prostitution, sexual idol worship and sleeping around in it, didn’t it? Sounds to me like we started with some depravity and base elements. You can’t entirely blame that on modern society.

“The drama gives an account of the bride being beaten by the night watchmen of the city.”

Now that is something Mr. Pearl is familiar with, tormenting women.

Michael goes on to claim that most of the Song of Songs is about the woman feeling desire for her coming bridegroom, that sh e is the initiator and pursues him to bring him to her bed. Lots of flowery Biblical language is used in this poorly-written tome to indicate sexual desire and sex acts. Poetic imagery instead of more prosaic straightforward language that might serve to educate.

“His world is a crescendo of sensual experiences.”

Real world translation – Horny, horny, horny. Come on, Michael, say it with me ‘Eee-Recc-Shun’ It’s not scary.

“In this godly song there is no carnal versus spiritual; all of self is unified in the experience of marital love. The whole person — body and soul — is integrated with the physical nature in perfect harmony with everything without and within. It is only when that love is interrupted by circumstances that there is tension, which is resolved when the lovers are once again in passionate embrace. It is a most simple and basic view of life, not complicated with guilt, shame, inhibition, or cultural expectations”

Normally I might say this is actually a good way to view sexuality… but… have we not all seen in his wife’s book, Debi Pearl’s “Created To Be His Helpmeet” that this isn’t the reality for the Godly Christian Woman. It’s put out the sexual favors whenever requested no matter how ill, busy, inappropriate the timing or any other possible reason you might not be inclined to. Not only drop your drawers and jump into the bed, you better be enthusiastic about it too, fake it if you don’t feel it, make him think you are just dying of desire for him and whatever sexual request he might make.

Makes me wonder if there’s some orgasm-fakery going on too.

Michael asks these questions:

“Can erotic pleasure be as sacred as prayer? Can the sensual and the spiritual both be the creation of God, with equal standing?”

You know, if you didn’t know Michael Pearl and his poisonous views on women, children, discipline and how his relationship with Debi was conducted via her book, then you might think this book is pretty good. But sadly he’s demonstrated over and over again in his writings, Youtube videos and on his website that he’s all about control, with him as the patriarch doing the controlling.

I leave you with these words from this book to ponder till next week

“Contrary to popular sentiment, it is only the righteous who truly enjoy the pleasures of sexual love.”

What a load of sad self-deluded crap!

Read everything by Suzanne!

Suzanne is an empty nester lives near Washington DC with her husband, cats and various rescue birds. She is the administrator of NLQ. Was raised Catholic in South Louisiana before falling in with a bunch of fallen Catholics whom had formed their own part Fundamentalist, part Evangelical church. After fifteen uncomfortable years drinking that Koolaid she left nearly 7 years ago. Her blogs are True Love Doesn’t Rape and Seeking The Light

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  • Nea

    it is only the righteous who truly enjoy the pleasures of sexual love.”

    You keep telling yourself that the grass isn’t greener, Michael. The rest of us will be remembering that Ted Haggard was probably talking about his rent boy and not his wife when HE went on record saying religious people had the best sex life too.

  • His mouth keeps moving, but all I hear is “I have amazing sex! You should hope to have such wonderful sex like I do! I’m such a stud my wife never says no, and I’m such a great lay that she is NEVER unsatisfied! Bow to my prowess!”

  • Joy

    She also has no one to compare him to.

  • Nea

    She *also* is the woman who snaps “Don’t talk to ME about pain!” when referring to painful sex, emphasis original. I don’t think she needs someone to compare him to to know he’s selfish at best.

  • Allison the Great

    From the way Debi Pearl talks about sex with her “don’t talk to me about pain!” attitude , I don’t think she finds it as enjoyable as Michael does. This is just a hunch. There is a difference between pleasurable love-making (and I mean pleasurable for both parties not just the man) and being brutally raped by your husband, which is what we’re led to believe has been happening since Debi and Michael’s honeymoon.

  • At least I’m right about him being a horn-dog.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    She pursued him too!

  • Allison the Great

    Yeah, there was a part of me that did sympathize with her situation and the abuse and brainwashing the she’s had to endure all these years being Michael’s wife. But then I am reminded that she did pursue him, that she wanted him. Now that I’ve read most of her stuff, I can see that while she’s not as much of a sociopath as Michael is, she is pretty fucking dark, twisted and a downright horrible human being. I don’t think she got any of that from Michael, I think she’s always been that way.

  • Nea

    She wanted him, yes… but I don’t think she had any idea of what it would be to actually be stuck with him for the rest of her life. Nor did she have the experience to recognize blatant grooming behavior (he never touched any woman but suddenly took her hand; then made her sit in the car while he ran laps around a building with no explanation.) Their first “fight” (actually, his first emotionally abusive moment) was because she knew so little about his reactions and his budget that she asked if they could afford meat.

  • It can be hard to tell with that sort of thing.

  • That_Susan

    I’m just feeling so reassured to learn that my ability to enjoy sexual love is evidence of my righteousness!

  • Trollface McGee

    I stopped at the “God gave man a woman as a gift.” So, screw us all being “brothers and sisters” in Christ. Women are just things that are given by God for men’s pleasure. Screw you, Michael, with a 2×4 to the face.

  • Mel

    I’ve started working on a set of blog posts about Debi’s lovely book “Preparing to be a Help Meet” in which she details how she and Mike ended up together.

    Long story short: God told Debi (age 13) to marry Mike (age 21). Mike treats her as a ministry slave for 4 or 5 years without any romantic overtures. Debi at 20 gets annoyed and plays a prank where she tells Mike she’s gonna marry a mutual friend. Mike gets mad because he’s losing his DebiToy to another man….and the two of them are married within two weeks.

    She didn’t pursue much; I view it as that weird codependency that narcissists like Michael crave so badly.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Mel, I’d love to publish them here!

  • Mel

    I’d like that too. I’ll send you my blog address once I start publishing them – hopefully tonight or tomorrow evening.

  • Mel
  • lodrelhai

    “It is a most simple and basic view of life, not complicated with guilt, shame, inhibition, or cultural expectations”

    Said by the man who teaches that people should be inhibited by the cultural expectations of the church (as preached by him), and they should feel guilty and ashamed for even *thinking* of deviating from his road map of proper behavior.

  • Karen Burch

    Can we talk about that ugly travesty of a cover!

  • Petticoat Philosopher

    It’s hard to know. I don’t let Debi off the hook for any of the horrible things she says and teaches but she was just a girl when she married Michael. She couldn’t have known what she was getting herself into as a sheltered 18-year-old. It seems like a pretty clear-cut case of hero-worship and we know how much Michael loves to exploit that. Who knows who she could have been otherwise without him?

  • Petticoat Philosopher

    *high five*

    I’m so totally righteous, duuude!

  • Petticoat Philosopher

    Yeah, I wanted to put my first through that screen just when I saw the Hebrew-esque font of the title. STOP APPROPRIATING MY CULTURE, FUNDIES!!! But then I actually looked at the illustration and, my God, that is terrible…

  • That_Susan


  • LisaP

    Thank you! I was gonna say the same thing!!

  • B.E. Miller

    Yeah, she might have gone off to college, become a scientist, and in an alternate universe, she’s probably great friends with Neil deGrasse Tyson.