Quoting Quiverfull: God Wants Daughters In Waiting To Wait At Home?

Quoting Quiverfull: God Wants Daughters In Waiting To Wait At Home? May 16, 2014

by Jenny McGinnis at Above Rubies – Daughters in Waiting: Finished School? What Now?

Upon reaching the age of 18 and officially graduating from our family home school, I immediately met with very intense pressure from friends, teachers, and others to pursue a profession, attend college and even move out and get a “place of my own.”  Many people assured me this would enable me to become a successful, independent career woman.

Happiness and fulfillment would of course naturally follow. Thankfully, I had several older women in my life (including my mother), who by example, showed me that true success, happiness, and fulfillment come from God and doing His will.

Romans 12:1-2 says, “I beseech you therefore, brethren by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

We don’t have to conform blindly to what the world tells us is our next step in life!  Instead, we can seek God’s wisdom. After all, God put us on this earth, designed us with a specific purpose, and gave us the gifts we need to do it. He’s got a detailed map, and all we have to do is ask for directions!

Read the entire article at Above Rubies

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull honestly and thoughtfully.

Comments open below

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

13:24 – A Story of Faith and Obsession by M Dolon Hickmon


Browse Our Archives

Follow Us!


TRENDING AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • SAO

    Because when we ask, God always sends us his detailed road map.

  • Jayn

    “We don’t have to conform blindly to what the world tells us is our next step in life! ”

    No, we can conform blindly to my interpretation of a 2000-year-old text!

    Or, as is so often said here, let people make their own decisions. But of course that would mean admitting that there’s more than one ‘right’ way to live.

  • Joyce

    “We don’t have to conform blindly to what the world tells us is our next step in life! ”

    No, we can conform blindly to my interpretation of a 2000-year-old text!

    You beat me to posting the exact same comment. I’ve said it before: do these people ever listen to themselves? No self-awareness whatsoever.

  • We are created to do good works, for which God has prepared for us to do.

    Sitting on our ass at home doing nothing ain’t a good work.

  • Mirella222

    34“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.
    35For
    I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you
    gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,
    36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

    No matter how many times I read it, no where does this passage say “you stayed at home and kept house for your father” as an important thing….

  • Independent Thinker

    The idea of stay at home daughters also contradicts the life of Lydia in the bible. She was self employed.

  • Allison the Great

    She never even considered what she wanted to do. She’s still blindly following a plan that someone else has for her and I don’t believe for a second that God has the same plan for everyone (that is, if he exists and if he micromanages enough to have plans for everyone) . She should have asked herself what she wanted to do instead of just wait for other people to decide for her.

  • Don’t forget the apostle Philip’s four daughters, whom were themselves apostles and prophets.

  • Kathleen Margaret Schwab

    Young people talk to their peers about getting their lives going – it is a critical time in their lives, they are facing momentous decisions, and a feeling of passion about taking up the reins of one’s own life at long last is to be expected. That she interprets this as “pressure” is interesting. Also very interesting – that she substitutes a vague ‘following God’ sort of plan for the specific plans that others around her are making. She’s spiritualizing things to the point of complete vagueness – and unfortunately i think that is the point.

  • MizzKittay

    If you’re going to homeschool your children shouldn’t you at least have a decent education yourself? Or is it the whole point to short change your children so that they can’t think for themselves and question the garbage they’re being spewed?

  • Nea

    God put us on this earth, designed us with a specific purpose, and gave us the gifts we need to do it

    Here’s a (not) fun game: see how many of the things the Christian patriarchy of all stripes say about women also apply to female sewer rats. God put ’em on earth? Check. They have a specific evolutionary niche purpose? Check. They have the mental and physical gifts to fit that niche? Check.

    (It’s not just this quote. You’d be appalled to see how much of the underlying philosophy doesn’t pass the sewer rat test. For instance, rats don’t use birth control, give birth in their own nests, and teach their young.)

    Ms. McGinnis can get back to me about her levels of happiness, success, and fulfillment if her life doesn’t move along the patriarchal plan rails. A marriage is not a guarantee – but her father’s eventual demise *is.* What happens to the dutiful daughter then?

  • KarenH

    That’s what all her brothers are for.

  • But how CAN she know what she wants to do when she’s never been allowed to make a single decision of her own up to that point? Granted, I don’t know the particulars of her case, but speaking from my own experience and a general understanding of this subculture I’d say that she’s never made any sort of a decision or had to look inside herself for the answer to anything.

    I reached adulthood without having made any significant decisions of my own and then been able to act upon them, two very different phases in the process. Heck, I couldn’t even choose what restaurant to go to because I had this idea that there was a “right” answer to every question and that I would Fail as a Human Being if I didn’t find that ONE “right” answer.

    I suppose it’s horribly telling that my *first* real act of “rebellion” was marrying my husband when I was 22.

    But still, I don’t think that this poor girl is capable of making her own choices because I think she doesn’t even know who *she* is. She’s a mask, a role, a figure of a person and not a person at all. It’s tragic, really, because I am reasonably certain that she has abilities she’ll never know she has because she’ll never be in a position to realize what *she* wants, likes, or needs.

  • Jenny Islander

    As far as I can tell, the first part of the quoted passage is Paul’s wrap-up of a very, very long examination of a then-current argument between Jewish Christians and Gentile Christians. But my heck does Paul go on and on. His argument is speckled with “therefore” statements that don’t seem to actually end anything. I’m pretty sure that this is the final “therefore” for this argument, and that his point is that nobody can sit in judgment over others because everybody can be tempted to the same sins, and neither Jewish nor Gentile Christians are better, and everybody needs God’s help, so think rather of your own behavior than of classifying and judging other people’s. I think. But nowhere in an admittedly quick read of the first 11 chapters of this letter do I see a word addressed to young women who are of age to start their own households and yet remain at home.

    The second verse only applies if you think that a young adult choosing the passive status of a dependent child is God’s will. It’s astonishing how closely the God of the Quiverfullers resembles a Victorian paterfamilias.

  • Nea

    do these people ever listen to themselves?

    Over on the Friendly Atheist blog, there’s a post discussing the advice of a Christian on how atheists should not argue. One of the pieces of advice he gives atheists is that it’s unconvincing to just quote the writings of authorities instead of showing independent thought.

    The howls of laughter at that bit of blindness are audible even in text.

  • Nea

    How very pre-20th century. I do hope Ms. McGinnis has read Sense and Sensibility or Pride and Prejudice, and noticed that in the first a brother leaves his sisters destitute (against the deathbed wish of their father) and in the second the brothers celebrate when a woman marries a risible man she doesn’t even pretend to love in order to provide security for herself that doesn’t impact their pockets. Jane Austen grew up in a world where girls were truly dependent on their male relatives and was not impressed with the holiness or propriety of the result.

    ETA: Oh, and Emma, where a genteel woman slides slowly into genteel destitution for lack of a provider.

  • Yep – “a vague following God sort of plan”.
    Many people speak of following God when graduating, but the normal way for that to go is “I am studying for [fill in blank] to serve God and people in what I do” or “doing [fill in blank] to serve God.” Serving God should never be the opposite of an activity or plan, but the motivation for plans and activities.

  • The problem with this is that it tries, between the lines, to give a message that is hard to fight, because there is actually no real untruth in the quote. The message is:

    “People told me I should do X1, opposite of X2.

    But I should follow God, not what people say.”

    It is easy to jump to the conclusion – especially since Above Rubies are all about the benefits of X2, that X2 is God’s way.

    Above Rubies would never have a quote like this one, even if it combines true statements in the same way:

    I met with very intense pressure from friends, parents, and the church community to stay at home, help raise my siblings and even accept father-led “courtship” instead of dating. Many people assured me this would enable me to become an exemplary, motherly Titus 2 woman.

    But thankfully, I had several Christians in my life who showed me that true success, happiness, and fulfillment come from God and doing His will. Romans 12:1-2 says…

    We don’t have to conform blindly to what the world tells us is our next step in life! Instead, we can seek God’s wisdom. After all, God put us on this earth, designed us with a specific purpose, and gave us the gifts we need to do it. He’s got a detailed map, and all we have to do is ask for directions!

  • When reading the linked article, it does not – in itself – raise real red flags with me. If it was not in Above Rubies, but in a non-Patriarchy magazine, I could imagine that this is a girl who happen to prefer staying with parents, following a correspondence course rather than attending classes, teaching music to children and having a greenhouse business, and want to be a stay at home mum some day. All of that is fine!
    The big reason why I am not sure she knows the alternatives is because she is part of the same culture as Above Rubies.

    PS: There is one red flag on rereading. After mentioning normal advice (go to college, move out), she uses a Bible verse about giving yourself to God as if to counter it, as if this proves the advice is bad.

  • Jenny Islander

    I got that pronouncement from a real muscular Christian a while back. Which brother should I have dumped myself on: the one who was battling a life-threatening illness that home nursing could do nothing for, the one who had a highly classified job with which I could not possibly have helped, or the pothead who stole money from me?

  • KarenH

    I’m guessing they’d have suggested the pothead. He’s got a “knack for industry” and his house probably needs the most cleaning.

    As for me, I’ll take my little not-a-duplex with the cats 🙂

  • Nea

    I’d go with the one with the classified job, but presumably the real muscular Christian didn’t think that real women can get clearances themselves. So it would be more for the fun of watching that guy’s head explode at the thought.

  • thisone

    Could I have a copy of that map then? I could really use it

  • Nightshade

    Pretty much, yeah, make sure the children never even know they have options.

  • Jason Pearson

    In a fantasy world, this idealism could work. In reality, these young women are reduced to two options: 1) Stay with mom and dad until Mr. Perfect comes along or, 2) take whatever shmuck stumbles into you and hope for the best. I’ve seen the end result of both of these and it ain’t pretty. Occasionally, through dumb luck, it actually works out as planned. I can’t imagine limiting my own daughters’ options in this way. Marriage is (or can be) a wonderful thing. Raising anything to the level of idolotry usually ends badly for the worshippers, however, and marriage is no different.