Quoting Quiverfull: Godly Marriage? Aren’t These Mostly Good For All Marriages?

Quoting Quiverfull: Godly Marriage? Aren’t These Mostly Good For All Marriages? May 21, 2014

by Matthew Jacobson at The Time Warp Wife – 10 Things You Won’t Find In A Godly Marriage

1.     A Sharp Tongue

It can be easy to cut with words when things don’t go our way but, in a godly marriage, neither spouse yields to this ungodly impulse. (James 3:8)

2.     A Good Memory (when it comes to offenses).

A good memory can be very bad. After we repent of our sins before God, He doesn’t then commit them to memory so they can be thrown in our faces the next time we need to repent. The Bible says that God forgets our sins. When we repent and ask forgiveness of each other, they should never be referenced again. Remembering and repeating past wrongs will prevent the true fellowship that always follows true forgiveness. We are called to forgive as God has forgiven. (Col. 3:13)

3.     A neglect of the Bibilical order in  marriage.

In today’s culture, it’s practically hate speech by now, but if you desire to have a marriage ordered according to God’s structure and standards, read and live by Ephesians chapter 5.

4.     A lack of care for how each other is doing.

Godly love engenders a genuine concern for one’s spouse. Communicating that love is as easy as, “Hey, how are you doing . . . really?” Love is kind. (1 Cor. 13:4)

5.     A short temper or easily offended.

Godly couples are slow to become angry. (1 Cor. 13:5)

6.     An unwillingness to sustain difficulty.

Godly couples have settled in for the long haul. Remember the old vow, “In sickness and in health?” Godly love bears all things. (1 Cor. 13:7)

7.     Pride.

Pride says, “Notice me, talk about me, and focus on me.” The first thing you’ll hear or notice from a godly spouse is, “It’s not about me.” (1 Cor. 13:4)

8.    A tearing down of one another.

Godly couples are busy . . . too busy lifting each other up to have the time to tear each other down by speaking negatively to others.

9.     Thinking less than the best of each other.

Godly couples love first and ask questions later. They assume the best of the other person. (1 Cor. 13:7)

10.    Taking pleasure in each other’s failings.

Love doesn’t rejoice when someone sins or falls, but rejoices in the truth. (1 Cor. 13:6)

Read the complete article at The Time Warp Wife

Comments open below

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

13:24 – A Story of Faith and Obsession by M Dolon Hickmon

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  • Trollface McGee

    #2 – It isn’t good to hang on to grudges, but there are some thing, even if you do forgive, you should not forget and there are some things you should not forgive without acting on them first (abuse for example).
    #3 – No, just no. No one is my boss by virtue of having the ‘right’ set of genitals.
    The rest are good, but you’d think that if someone is mature enough to marry, they are mature enough to have mastered most of these.

  • SAO

    Meaning if you’re married to a mean, selfish, grudge-holding, short-tempered jerk, you don’t have a Godly marriage and you’re free to divorce the loser.

  • Well, that discounts almost every Christian marriage I know.

  • Nea

    It doesn’t take a lot of effort to twist that advice into something really abusive and toxic. “I said I was sorry for hitting you! How dare you keep talking about it!” “I’m the man, so god put me in charge. Shut up and submit.” “It’s not about me or my actions — you’re the crazy bitter one!”

  • I’m on the phone, listening to my mother try to get my 90 year old father in bed. He has Alzheimer’s. I think right about now, she’s violating just about every one of these. After 63 years, she has a right.

  • Mel

    I agree. Outside of #3, the rest are a list of characteristics that should be present in a couple before they marry.

    The fact that this list needed to be written terrifies me about the state of “Christian” marriages. (My husband and I are both Christians, but he’s a corrupted main-line Protestant and I’m a “Whore of Babylon”, papist Roman Catholic so we have a lovely heathen marriage.)

  • Sara Lin Wilde

    . . . and, having lived with a man who was an abuser, I can tell you that all of these things come up regularly, whether or not they have a religious justification. Religion becomes something that gets used to bolster somebody’s desire for power.

  • brbr2424

    Other than #3, those are all things in a good marriage, once you take all the god language out of them.