Patriarchs Behaving Badly: Who Would Jesus Pee On?

Patriarchs Behaving Badly: Who Would Jesus Pee On? June 22, 2014
What FFC had to say about their conference tonight – Our own Joy Creasman, FFC’s Director of Marketing and Events, had the unique opportunity to sing with award-winning artist Steve Green on Saturday night… she reflected, “The Lord opened the door for me today to get sing one of my favorite songs with the original artist, Steve Green. God is so good, all of the time.

This weekend Ralph Reed’s Faith and Freedom Coalition held a big conference in the Washington DC area at the Omni Shoreham Hotel – The Road to Majority conference which was described by one journalist as:

“a large group of white conservative Christians gathered in a large hotel and whipped into an ideological frenzy over their mutual hatred of all things Obama”

The conference speakers included Gary Bauer, Ralph Reed, Rick Santorum, Chris Christie, Herman Cain and Rafael Cruz (father of Ted Cruz). They spoke to advance Dominionism in this country, making no bones about their hopes to create a Evangelical Christian political nation. Topics included Reed encouraging people to burn IRS offices to the ground, blaming homosexuality for societal problems,  claiming anyone who didn’t vote the Evangelical Christian way was ‘stupid’ plus a million other offensive things and:

“Every section of society that has abandoned the Bible finds itself in sexual chaos and turbulence”

Sexual chaos? What exactly is that?

But those things barely register on the outrage meter compared to what the conference folks did to the urinals…..

….install President Obama figurines for the conference goers to, ah, er.. ‘go’ on.


Let me remind you that this is the same FFC that runs the big Prayer Breakfasts and hires folks like Jim Bob Duggar to speak at their shindigs. These people want to control everything you and I plan, do and think. 

So does that mean the Duggars are fine with peeing on the president? How do you praise God on one hand and then behave like this on the other hand?

Comments open below

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

13:24 – A Story of Faith and Obsession by M Dolon Hickmon

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  • Nea

    Topics included Reed encouraging people to burn IRS offices to the ground

    So, in other words, Ralph Reed is advocating for violent overthrow of the US Government? There are laws about that. And let me guess, when an IRS building is actually attacked, he’ll be one of the ones screaming that it shouldn’t be called domestic terrorism.

    How do you praise God on one hand and then behave like this on the other hand?

    Oh, oh, pick me, pick, me, I know the answer to this one! Because it has jack-all to do with the Bible or religion and everything to do with tribal markers and gathering political power. The religion they want us all to live under isn’t the Bible as written, it’s the Bible as interpreted by themselves in a manner that gives unquestioned power to themselves. That both Bible and Constitution are dead set AGAINST this is of no consequence. As long as your “stance” is right on the correct social and political issues, you’re in.

  • Saraquill

    I’m guessing those guys didn’t read “The Handmaid’s Tale.” The Republic of Gilead started collapsing more or less upon implementation.

    They are also pissing on effigies of a brown man. Don’t they realize how bad that looks?

  • Edie Moore McGee

    How classy of them. Not! I’m glad my parents aren’t alive to see this.

  • Gypsy Rose B

    Yikes, even Chris Christie was speaking there? I get that he’s conservative and all but this didn’t seem like his bag. My mother (big ol’ liberal) seemed to like him for a little while. There goes the last shred of respect I had for him.

    And the creepy title “Road to Majority”? Wow. That is just…upsetting. I can’t even put into words how weird that is.

  • Rebecca Horne

    “Who would Jesus pee on?”

    Somebody who’d been stung by a jellyfish. If Jesus existed, and was how most of the New Testament portrays him, he’d probably be first in line to pee on somebody’s jellyfish sting.

  • Nea

    I can roll with “Road to Majority” because it’s just another way of saying “Moral Majority,” which is what they are with a new label on anyway.

    The Moral Majority went bust and this group is having a terrible time getting a “majority” to agree with them about Obama (elected again), “Obamacare” (legal) and gay marriage (either accepted or bans against it challenged in all 50 states; the Supreme Court is going to end up bowing to the inevitable in the next couple of years.)

  • Allison the Great

    Yes, I wonder how successful the evangelicals will be if they ever try to conquer the Seven Mountains. Most of America disagrees with them on one thing or the other and once they start with the Christian Thought Police ™, sending women back to the home to be help meets, stoning homosexuals and non-virgins, making women and girls marry their rapists, turning all TV shows into Seventh Heaven and all movies into Passion of the Christ… I wonder how long it would take for the majority of Americans to rebel against that crazy shit. Methinks it won’t take too long. I don’t believe that the evangelicals realize that most of Americans do not stand behind their overly extreme endgame of dominating everything here in America.

  • Allison the Great

    The immature person in me – the part of me that still likes to watch Spongebob and play video games, listen to Ninja Sex Party (listen to The Ultimate Sandwich) and still laughs whenever I hear the words “nuts”, “balls” or anything else thats highly suggestive – wants someone to pee on all the speakers that were at this ridiculous rally. I don’t mean pee on a figurine version of these men, oh no. I mean actually pee on them. I read a book once that put it very nicely : It stops being funny when it starts being you and then there’s my favorite quote by Tony Soprano “Those who want respect, give respect”. It’s time these assholes learned that.

  • I read an article, somewhere about a godly seminar for godly men at a godly church where the godly men were required to use the godly women’s room. They pissed all over it, basically trashing it. I guess that says something rather ungodly about these godly men.

  • Nea

    If you ever remember where that’s from, I’d like to read it.

  • Nea

    Ah, but Real Americans ™ stand with them. Everyone else is a Velveeta American, I guess.

  • gimpi1

    If they act like this, it’s also highly inaccurate. At least, it is to be hoped…

  • gimpi1

    That Real American™ thing has always bugged the heck out of me. It appears to mean that the vast majority, those of us who don’t live in small towns in the Bible Belt, don’t generally attend church and don’t care for the Tea Party are fake Americans and don’t really count. That’s how they can assume they are going to win elections with this tripe. We fake folks will somehow evaporate, or something.

  • I remember that too. It was a men’s conference or seminar so large that the organizers chose to use both the men’s and women’s facilities at the church for the conference-attending men (after all, there won’t be women at the conference). The article writer believe they symbolically urinated on women, as they urinated all over the walls, doors and everything – a way they’d never treat the men’s toilets.

  • Allison the Great

    It doesn’t bother me when they think that we’ll evaporate, because it’s always funny to see the look on their faces when they lose elections. The local/state elections do bother me because not enough people turn out to vote which makes the tea party assholes get elected and that makes Congress even more useless than they were before.

  • gimpi1

    You’re right about that, Dukes. If only crazy people are passionate enough to vote, we get a crazy government.


    Hope that helps!

  • Allison the Great

    Yeah, we could have the most liberal president in the world like Bernie Sanders and that wouldn’t make a lick of difference because we have crazies running the states and towns.

  • Nea

    There is a certain type of person that I enjoy telling that I qualify for the DAR twice over.

  • Astrin Ymris

    I wonder if they did that to wipe out the perceived threat to their masculinity after having been “forced” to use a women’s restroom?

  • Marie Scott

    Interesting. I mean the comments about “white folk.” Pretty sure Herman Cain and Ted Cruz don’t classify themselves as “white men.” But hey, that’s splitting hairs. Oh, and if the urinal figure had been former President Bush, why that would’ve been hysterical!

  • Marie Scott

    Why is “Road to Majority” weird? This was a political rally of sorts. Every party whips up its base with similar language.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Ted Cruz is clearly at least part Caucasian. Boggles my mind that you’re claiming he’s not a white man. He doesn’t identify with the Hispanic race at all politically.

  • Mary O’Grady

    Funny how nobody ever manufactured or distributed urinal cakes depicting former President Bush.

  • dorothybaez

    The sweet irony is that “doing your business” on a person’s image is pretty common in some forms of folk magic and goes back a long way.