Quoting Quiverfull: Respect Your Husband Above All Else?

Quoting Quiverfull: Respect Your Husband Above All Else? August 7, 2014

i respect my husbandfrom the blog The Respected Husband – Marriage Instructions: Roles and Responsibilities

Before we move on to the responsibilities of the husband, I want to end this section by sharing a statement from David Platt, “Your respect for your husband is not based on his performance but is based on God’s call and command in your life as his wife. Revere Christ through submission to your husbands. Respect them. Honor them. Build them up. That’s God’s responsibility for wives.

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders or their followers/enforcers and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull honestly and thoughtfully.

Comments open below

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

13:24 – A Story of Faith and Obsession by M Dolon Hickmon

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Nea

    I notice how very often women are told to respect men regardless … and how very never men at told to earn that respect.

    (I’m gonna argue that this is rape culture. Not only does it gaslight women, there’s no quantifiable difference between this and telling women how not to get raped whole men are never told “Don’t rape.”)

  • SAO

    So, God’s saying submit to the guy, no matter what stupid ideas he has, no matter what evil he’s unthinkingly creating, just because he’s male and his wife is not?

    Why would God give women brains, if he doesn’t want them to use them. The world of nature is full of creatures with very unequal males and females. Some female spiders are more than twice the size of the males. Elephant seal males can grow up to three times bigger than the females. Presumably, God made them all.

  • Astrin Ymris

    It’s amazing how the CPM mythology depends so heavily on quotemining the most dubiously-authored books of the Bible.


  • Trollface McGee

    People deserve basic respect as human beings regardless of gender, age, nationality, religion, etc. No person deserves special respect or worship just because of their age, gender, nationality, religion, etc.
    If you constantly have to keep your partner’s ego erect, and if your partner relies on you to keep their self esteem up, that’s a bad marriage and that’s what’s being advocated here.

  • Mel

    Notice how Ephesians 5:25-32 is blatantly contradicted. Husbands must love their wives as the husband loves himself AND with the sacrificial love that Christ show for the church. If he’s not doing that, he’s in more grave error than a disrespectful wife since he is in a position of power from whom God will expect more from as with the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-25.

    (I blame Debi Pearl for my new found ability to string Bible quotes together. I never used to do that….)

  • Mel

    And grabbing parts of the Old Testament – while staying silent on the parts that spell out male duties to their wives…

  • gimpi1

    Stroking the ego of someone who is domineering and abusive is dangerous. It empowers them, and turns them into tyrants.

    Everyone who behaves decently is entitled to basic respect. Gender and marital relationship doesn’t come into it. However, this fawning “father worship” that some of these groups seem to demand is destructive and demeaning. It demeans both husband and wife. The husband is degraded by being turned into a spoiled brat, an immature dictator who must have his every whim catered to, lest he fall apart or lash out. The wife becomes a slave, silenced and controlled in every action, even in her thoughts.

    Here’s a thought, how about husbands and wives respecting each other? Treating each other as adults, capable of both good actions and errors, able to grow and learn, as people? How about loving each other as individuals, not stereotypes? How about a good old-fashioned “mutual pleasuring party?” (I love that phrase:-)

  • Nightshade

    How about you get the respect you earn? I have considerable respect for my man’s knowledge about many things, I can easily accept that he’s right and what I thought was wrong on topics that he knows more about than I do. I don’t automatically give him respect because he possesses the Y chromosome and male reproductive equipment. And guess what? He treats me like a human being, not a doormat. Respect isn’t something that should just be handed out like candy (”Here little boy, have a lollipop so you’ll feel better’). It actually means something if the recipient earns it!

  • Allison the Great

    I’ve met a lot of people (of both genders) who demand respect, yet do nothing to earn it. I think these people do that because they know deep down that they don’t deserve it, and they won’t get it from anyone else save for the people they have to continuously bully in order to get that respect.

    A lot of these guys in the quiverful movement, I’ve noticed they’re not very successful. Has anyone else noticed that as well? It’s like they have to make up for the respect they will never get in the work place by being a tyrannical asshole at home.

  • Saraquill

    Being married while male does NOT make someone an avatar of J*sus.