Preparing To Be A Help Meet: Three Types of Women – Part 2

Preparing To Be A Help Meet: Three Types of Women – Part 2 September 17, 2014

dreamersby Mel cross posted from her blog When Cows and Kids Collide

Debi spends a few pages helping us poor women understand our types.

“That introduces another question:”Well, if women are created in the image of man, and man comes in three types, are women created in different types?” We are…sorta. Since we are females, I like to call us a more feminine version of Prophet, Priest and King.  I’ll call us girls Dreamers, Servants and Go-to Gals.  “

At this point, Debi introduces a chart to help readers keep track of all of the different names.  From a pedagogical standpoint, if you need a chart for readers to keep up with a personality system, your system is way too complicated.

“I’m a Dreamer, similar to the Prophet type.  A female’s type is not as predominant as a man’s.  Remember, man was created in God’s image and we in man’s image, so we are one step removed from the original, which, thankfully, tempers our extremes. “

What a strange little heresy.  Debi’s  invested in separating women from God – even though Genesis 1:27 contradicts her entire premise.

” Are you a Dreamer?  Do you like to create, sew, design, paint or write? “

I like to create new microscope slides of plants.  Does that count?  

 “The little three-year-old girls that love to dress up like ballerinas or princesses are the Dreamers. “

Quick!  Find someone who remembers what you liked to do when you were a three year-old.  If you can’t find that person, you’re screwed.

” If you are a Dreamer, then you need to keep your head out of the clouds while dancing your way into your vision of the future.  Don’t get involved in projects that take you away from your responsibility to honor your husband.”

What does that last sentence mean? Is Debi talking to married women or unmarried women?  If you aren’t married, how are you supposed to guess which projects will be useful to your future spouse?  

To use an example from the CP/QF world, Genevieve Smith married Pete de Deugd.  Genevieve’s family was involved in webpage design; Pete runs a woodworking and metal shop.  In her words, she had a lot to learn.

Genevieve probably should have spent her youthful years learning how to use power tools, welding and electrical engineering.  Instead, she learned how to make webpages.  What on Earth were her parents thinking!  I mean, obviously, they should have been training her in advanced welding to help her future husband.


I mean, my parents taught me how to milk cows, deliver calves AND care for poultry while living in the city since my future husband was a farmer….oh, wait….no.  

My parents made sure I had a good education, access to a college education and the freedom to follow MY interests.  Plus, I got to pick my own husband which we all agree was a good choice.

 “Spend your youth honing your gifts and developing skills.  Someday, if you honor your man, your gifts will greatly benefit your marriage.

The two biggest assets that I have brought to the farm when I married: interpersonal management skills that I learned in years of working outside of the home and the Biology/Chemistry knowledge that I learned in my college education.  I doubt Debi would recommend either in her book – but both have been extremely helpful in learning about the farm and giving advice on some management techniques.

So, yeah.  Just follow your instincts, ladies.  Ignore Debi.  I’ve never followed any of her advice and my life is pretty good.

 “Girls that are Dreamers have a tendency to become Antsy Girls when things don’t seem to be happening as fast as we think they should.”

Um….’k.  That’s a random term that we’ve never heard before in the book.

“An example of a Prophet in Scripture would be Elijah.  Remember that he is the man who called down fire from heaven.”

Yup.  That’s ALL that matters about Elijah.  No real importance to the Jewish or Christian religions – but he RAINS FIRE!

I question if Debi has read her Bible because she’s making a lot of stupid mistakes in this section.

  “Most, though not all, Old Testament prophets are Prophets in nature.”

Yes, because you defined the Prophet-type as Prophet-like.  Logic.  Please study it.  These sentences are killing me.  

 ” It is not as easy to identify the female of the Prophet/Visionary/Dreamer, no doubt due in part to the fact that there are fewer women featured in the Bible.  There are several obviously negative examples of the Prophet-natured woman.  The most prominent is Delilah.  Her story is found inJudges 16.  She was the object of Samson’s tender feelings, as well as his uncontrolled lust.  The story of Delilah is that of a wicked woman of Samson’s strength.  When he repeatedly refused to reveal his secret, she put on her acting charm.  She wept, brokenhearted, blaming him for not trusting her with the secrets of his heart and therefore not loving her.  It worked.  He was deceived into telling her his secret lay in a covenant he had with God, the sign of which was his long hair.   At the first opportunity she sheared his head, leaving him powerless.  He paid with his eye-sight and then his life.  “

I’m amazed how Debi makes this Delilah’s fault.  Samson tells Delilah three separate lies about what would make him weak.  Delilah immediately tries each of the three things on Samson.  It doesn’t take a genius to realize when Samson tells Delilah that shaving his head would make him weak that she shaves his head.  

Minor quibble: Samson did pay with his eye-sight.  His death was his choice.  He asked God to give him his strength back so he could pull down the building he was in and kill a bunch of people and asked to die with them.  Easy-peasy to see if you’ve READ the Bible.

“Sorry for all you Dreamers for the negative example.  I can think of some really cool ladies who are Dreamers, which includes me, of course.”

I hope most Dreamer women have better lives than Debi does.

AntiPearl:Follow your dreams. Just make sure to have fun too.

Introduction | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | 

Part 7 |  Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13

Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19Part 20

Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24 | Part 25 |Part 26 | Part 27

Read everything by Mel!

Mel is a science teacher who works with at-risk teens and lives on a dairy farm with her husband. She blogs at When Cows and Kids Collide

Comments open below

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  • Nea

    I’m sure you Dream of a better life, Debi.

  • She can’t find an example in the Bible of a women prophet/ visionary/ dreamer? There are several women prophets in the Bible. Many women, even in the naming of their children, proved that they dreamed of/ envisioned a future. Children had names meaning things like “God will see my sadness” and “God heard us.”

  • Of course not. If she did, she would realize that women need not be doormats for abusive husbands. Wasn’t Leah a dreamer? She’s honored up there with Sarah and Rebecca. Oh, wait, we don’t pay attention to the parts of the Bible we don’t like, right?

  • KarenH

    “… Are you a Dreamer? Do you like to create, sew, design, paint or write? … Girls that are Dreamers have a tendency to become Antsy Girls when things don’t seem to be happening as fast as we think they should. ..”

    Uh, Debi? have you ever actually sewn, designed, painted or written before? Because I don’t know a single person who does any of those things who gets antsy because the process is slow. If anything, most people find themselves lost in the process and are shocked to realize how much time has flown by while they were doing it. And rushing the process, as anyone who has sewn, painted, written or designed before can tell you, usually just creates more work when you have to fix the errors you made while rushing.

    To whit? You make no sense. Well…you make LESS sense than usual.

  • It kind of reveals her innate lack of understanding of how positive emotions work.

    When you are doing something that you find truly fulfilling, you aren’t antsy or bored. You actually experience “flow”, a psychological state of completely immersed focus. It’s a state of great energy and contentment, all at the same time.

    If you’ll allow the Wikipedia reference:

    The hallmark of flow is a feeling of spontaneous joy, even rapture, while performing a task although flow is also described…as a deep focus on nothing but the activity – not even oneself or one’s emotions.

    That’s a far cry from angst or frustration.

  • Since we are females, I like to call us a more feminine version of Prophet, Priest and King. I’ll call us girls Dreamers, Servants and Go-to Gals. “

    I really really really hate this. The “feminized” versions sound so frivolous and superficial compared to the masculine versions that it is truly insulting. Not that I expect any better from her, but still–quite a striking difference.

  • Absolutely, Karen. I wish I could agree more than once.

  • gimpi1

    “So, yeah. Just follow your instincts, ladies. Ignore Debi. I’ve never followed any of her advice and my life is pretty good.”

    I think this can be said of any ideas emerging from Pearl-world. Ignore Debi and Michael Pearl. Your life and the lives of everyone in your family will be much, much better for it.

  • Krissi_C

    Especially since there are better ‘feminine’ versions… I’d say “prophet” is gender-neutral, but you could use “prophetess” if you’re a stickler. “Priestess” is a natural, though, as is “queen”. Seriously, the ‘feminized’ versions have no need to be so… diminished.

  • Kitty

    I agree. I also don’t understand the insistence on referring to adults as gals, girls or females – terms usually used to describe children or animals. But, I guess if you don’t think of women can actually be adults who make decisions for themselves, I suppose it’s natural to use infantile terms.

  • I agree. It’s so blatant that it’s ridiculous. Our entire existence trivialized in less than half a sentence–I think even for Debi that’s a record.

  • Sometimes when I’m working on something the rest of the world just vanishes for me. I haven’t been able to manage that in a long time, though, because I keep getting my attention interrupted for stuff. the only frustration is in not being able to sit down long enough to truly immerse myself in a task.

    Which, since in Pearl-world women exist to be slaves for the men and, to a lesser degree, their children, I can readily imagine a Dreamer being *very* frustrated with constantly being interrupted and never being able to achieve that moment of perfect focus.

  • I don’t imagine it would be conducive to creative people either. I can’t even remember how many times I’ve had my partner bring home dinner because I was involved in a writing project. Pretty sure she would NOT approve…. 😉

  • I’m of two minds with that. On the one hand, my husband *regularly* interrupts anything that I’m doing in order to get me to fix him something to eat, regardless of what I’m doing or what I’ve *been* doing. On the other hand, there’s been more than once where someone *has* gone out for food while I’ve been immersed with talking with friends online… but its *rarely* him going for it and it’s usually getting something for me as a side effect of getting something for *him*.

    And then he has the audacity to say that I need to be “nicer” to him. I just… I can’t.

    But yes, Debi would not approve and you know what? I don’t care. I think it’s AWESOME that you have someone you can trust to watch your back like that. Go you!

  • He usually calls on his way home from work and asks if I need anything. So no interruptions there. 😉