Quoting Quiverfull: Don’t Express Displeasure To Your Child?

Quoting Quiverfull: Don’t Express Displeasure To Your Child? October 6, 2014

scoldingby Michael Pearl from No Greater Joy – Six Ways Parents Destroy Their Children Without Trying

It is a vicious cycle. A child’s bad behavior provokes looks of displeasure and looks of displeasure provoke bad attitudes leading to bad behavior. I have said it so many times. If you cannot train your children to do as they ought, it is far better to lower your standards and enjoy them as they are than to allow your looks of displeasure to become the norm. A kid may grow up to be undisciplined and self-willed, but there is no reason to add to it a feeling of being unloved and unable to please.

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • lodrelhai

    …I’m really trying to figure out how this meshes with “sit on them if you have to” and “break their spirit.”

    If he’d said something about having given hurtful advice in the past, recanting previous statements, or trying to do better after seeing his teaching taken to their logical extremes, I might be willing to give him some slack. But as it stands, this sounds like a case of CYA.

  • Nea

    Sooooooo… It’s too hard on a kid to frown on them, but not too hard on them to beat the crap out of them from infancy?

    Brain. Blown.

  • Nea

    Or possibly “it’s no good complaining about them if you won’t hit them.”

  • I…don’t understand this. I think his cognitive dissonance just broke my brain.

  • Astrin Ymris

    Re: “…as it stands, this sounds like a case of CYA…”

    That’s my take on it: He thinks sprinkling his works with such occasional “soft” statements which can be quotemined if needed provides him with legal protection in the event of a civil trial.

  • Trollface McGee

    1. Keep your feelings and your child’s feelings bottled up
    2. Beat your child
    3. ?????
    4. Profit!
    Makes sense.

  • Baby_Raptor

    Yes, because every child is a brat who will immediately jump to be 10 times worse the second they see that they’re getting to you.

    Kids do not have this attitude naturally. If your child is acting as described, it’s because you’ve pushed them so far that pissing you off is the only reaction they know how to get out of you. Not. Good. Parenting.

  • Petticoat Philosopher

    Me neither! Since when does Michael Pearl believe in accepting children for who they are, even with imperfections? Or care about the effect of feeling “unloved and unable to please” on kids? Or not think that being “undisciplined and self-willed” is a sure path to rebellion against God and therefore a non-stop ticket to Hell? I’m so confused.

  • Rebecca Horne

    I…I just don’t understand how this is Michael Pearl…

  • Did he accidentally smack himself upside the head? I think head trauma could do it…

  • I’m imagining he tried to switch a kid, and the rod bounced more than he anticipated an clocked him one good…that smack had such an impact on his life, I’d imagine he asks Debi to spank him quite often…

    Enjoy that mental image. >:)

  • You got me hooked with the image of him hitting himself…and then…and then…

    Please excuse me. I find myself needing to dial my therapist. :-p

  • lodrelhai

    The scary part is this formula seems to have worked for him to some extent…

  • lodrelhai
  • Thank you. I needed that.

  • B.A.


  • Monica Swanson

    I feel like he’s going for sarcasm here? Like it’s better for a child to turn out “right” and feel unloved than to feel loved but be “rebellious”? He doesn’t actually want parents to accept their kids as they are, because that would be “lowering their standards.”