by Mary Sunshine and her commenters at her blog Sunshine Mary and the Dragon – Nip Disrespect in the Bud Before it Blooms into the Flower of Rebellion
Came across this blog on Facebook on one of the NLQ affiliate sites. Struck by how disrespectfully rude some of the ideas for dealing with disrespect from wifes are. Any man that pulls this crap needs to spend a few nights without ‘marital affections’ sleeping on the sofa. Respect in marriage is a two way street no matter if you believe in God or the Flying Spaghetti Monster or nothing. You cannot get respect from your spouse by disrespecting them back. Life doesn’t work that way no matter what the CPM & QF people think.
This is exactly the type of thinking I believed was normal back in my old church days that I now find unbelievably toxic and harmful to everyone involved. It doesn’t even line up with the words of Christ.
To which Julian O’Dea responded with:
If your wife is rude to you when you go somewhere together, stop going there with her. Men berated by their wives at supermarkets should not be there in the first place.
I heard a husband tell his wife to control their dog at the vet’s today. That is so rare that I was not sure he had actually done it. Wives ordering husbands around is more common.
I chimed in to add:
Women will behave about as well or as poorly as you train them to. Don’t want her to disrespect you in public? Then don’t tolerate it even once.
And Julian O’Dea provided an illuminating example:
I was driving my wife to work a couple of days ago,during the middle of her bout of PMT (PMS).. She made a disrespectful remark. So I took her home and told her to catch the bus. She was seriously inconvenienced. Do not tolerate serious disrespect.
A wise response.
Readers, I must humbly confess a sin to you, out of a desire for other women to learn from my example. Sadly, my husband has had to do something similar to me that Julian did to his wife. You see, HHG has asked me not to put sharp knives in the dishwasher because it dulls the blades and warps the handles over time, but sometimes I sneak them in anyway when I’m feeling too lazy to wash them by hand. He’s reprimanded me for it a few times, rather harshly the last time, and I gave him some disrespectful attitude back. I seem to be intent on rebelling against him on this point.
But oh dear, readers, my naughty hens have now come home to roost! The dishwasher broke yesterday, and he tried to fix it but determined that it could not be fixed. When I said, well, we’d better go get a new one then, he said
No.He said we aren’t replacing it because I wouldn’t obey him on the sharp knives! Believe me, I shed a few tears but to no avail. He says that now I can just wash everything, and not only the knives, by hand and let it be a lesson.
QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully
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