Quoting Quiverfull: AIDS Free By December 25th – The Duggars Lose Their Homophobe Crown?

Quoting Quiverfull: AIDS Free By December 25th – The Duggars Lose Their Homophobe Crown? December 4, 2014
The gleeful homophobic put the gays to death and giving illegal medical advice Andersons, Steven and Zsuzsanna
The gleeful homophobic put the gays to death and giving illegal medical advice Andersons, Steven and Zsuzsanna

from Raw Story by Steven Anderson, Pastor of Faithful Word Baptist Church – Arizona Pastor Predicts “AIDS-Free Christmas” If All Gays Are Killed, As God Commands

And here we thought Jim Bob and Michelle were the hatingest haters of the homosexuals in the world of the Christian Patriarch Movement. Looks like Zsuzsanna Anderson’s hubby is trying to snatch that crown from their heads.

This extreme hatred of gays to the point where he is advocating killing gay people makes me wonder if Steven is so far into the closet that he’s seeing the next century’s worth of Christmas presents. Many of these guys in the Quiverfull movement are so obsessed with proving their masculinity by keeping the wife knocked up and hating on the gays so hard it makes me wonder if they’re all secretly gay but in denial.

Not going to upload the sermon videos here as they are rather off putting, but if your nerves and stomach are strong enough all the videos these quotes come from are up at the Raw Story website.

In the sermon, which was uploaded to YouTube on Monday from Faithful Word Baptist Church, Pastor Steven Anderson said that God has ordered in the scriptures that gays should be killed, and that if humanity wants to have an “AIDS-free world by Christmas,” he said, that’s what should be done.

“Turn to Leviticus 20:13,” he says in the video, “because I actually discovered the cure for AIDS.”

“If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them,” Anderson read aloud.

“And that, my friend, is the cure for AIDS,” he said. “It was right there in the Bible all along — and they’re out spending billions of dollars in research and testing. It’s curable — right there. Because if you executed the homos like God recommends, you wouldn’t have all this AIDS running rampant.”

At another point in his sermon, Anderson had a foot-stomping, shouting tantrum about the idea that people can be LGBT and Christian. There will never be any gays in his church, he said, not ever, ever, ever.

“No homos will ever be allowed in this church as long as I am pastor here,” he insisted. “Never! Say ‘You’re crazy.’ No, you’re crazy if you think that there’s something wrong with my ‘no homo’ policy.”

On a completely different weird delusional note Steven’s wife, Zsuzsanna Anderson is now claiming she can heal MRSA with her essential oil solutions. Reminds me of a certain former reality television star that is making the same claims about her essential oils preventing Ebola. Young Living oils has been ordered by the FDA to stop making the Ebola claims. Zsuzsanna added this disclaimer to her miracle cream:

Disclaimer: These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, CDC, NSA, SS, Obama, or any other loving government organizations concerned with your health and well being. Therefore, please understand that this blog post simply reflects my entirely worthless medical opinions, and should not be used to diagnose, treat, prevent, cure, or otherwise interfere with any illness the government wants you to have. Have a nice day! 🙂

Nice dig at the federal government Zsuzsanna…

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, influential bloggers and cultural enforcers and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • That_Susan

    My fourteen year old daughter called me into her room this afternoon because she’d just learned about this awful sermon on Facebook. She wonders how safe she is. We’re far from Arizona – in a big city in the Bible belt where there are also very strong liberal and LGBT communities. Stuff like this makes me think; I’d never want her to feel like she needed to hide her sexual identity, but I’m kind of relieved that her style preferences are on the feminine side, meaning that her appearance doesn’t make her stand out as being any different from other teen girls her age.

    I mean, people who pay attention will notice stuff like gay pride jewelry and t-shirts. But people of Anderson’s ilk probably can’t observe or read all that well and are hopefully not all that likely to notice or aim their guns at kids like my daughter. She loves going out walking on her own. She’s not a stay-in-the-house type of person and I’m not about to let fear make us try to hold her back from interacting with the world.

    In expressing my relief about my daughter’s style-preferences (simply from the viewpoint of wanting to feel like she’s relatively safe), I’m not at all saying that it’s okay for ANYONE to get targeted by these hate-mongers.

    Much as I still support everyone’s right to free speech and privacy, I sincerely see this church as a national security threat and I hope our government will put the whole congregation under heavy and intense surveillance, if they haven’t already. What Anderson is advocating is every bit as evil as 9/11.

  • Drea

    Ugh, I hate the negative attention that my home state is getting. Yes, I live in Arizona. And most people who live here are NOT homophobic. There’s actually a rather large LGBT community here, in addition to several poly communities. Sigh. I hate nut jobs like this.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    I feel the same way, which is why I published this. I have two nieces I love very much who are openly gay and proud of it. Anderson grieves me in that he thinks their deaths and the death of your daughter is a solution to anything. It’s hate speech pure and simple and should not be tolerated.

  • Mel

    First reaction: F— YOUSELF, YOU SANTIMONIOUS BASTARD.

    Second reaction – how freaking little does he know about the proposed HIV/AIDS evolution model that has been pretty solid for 20 years? (Obviously, nothing, but still.)

  • Mermaid Warrior

    “No homo”? What is he, some gangsta wannabe? It just makes me think of Riley from The Boondocks.

  • Nea

    I’ve smelled 4 Thieves. It’s not bad for colonial Febreeze, but considering Zsuzsanna’s “entirely worthless medical opinions” – thanks for the mot juste, Zsu – I’m actually shocked that nobody in her family has died of her notions, yet.

  • Mirella222

    Some counterpoints:
    1. Committing genocide against gay men will not end the AIDS epidemic. That is because in developing countries, straight women are actually more likely to have the disease. So not only is his idea utterly disgusting and abhorrent, it would not even accomplish what he claims it would.
    2. I don’t think Steven would ever have to worry about a gay person stepping foot in his church willingly. I hope that any gay children in the parish are able to get out safely when they come of age.
    3. MRSA cannot be cured by essential oils. MRSA is a type of bacteria that is resistant to antibiotics. To stop the infection, you must kill the bacteria. Many labs are working towards different treatments, or to find a way to alter MRSA’s DNA to get rid of it’s resistance. No matter how pretty an oil smells, the fact of the matter is that it will not kill bacteria. I sincerely hope that no one listens to this ignorant woman, who openly admits that she knows nothing about medicine, and instead seeks proper medical treatment for all of their illnesses.
    4. These two are a disgrace to Christianity as a whole. Their ignorance, their arrogance, and their disdain for others is appalling. You will know they are Christians by their love, indeed. Love your neighbour as yourself seems to have been forgotten as well. I hate to pull a “no True Scotsman” but really, these two slander Christianity with their antics.

  • Nea

    The Duggars were never the worst of the homophobes; they just put a supposedly wholesome family-friendly face on hating what several of their children likely are.

    This guy is another breed of bigot, thinking he’s so big and strong for advocating hate and murder. He’s right up there with the guy who thinks that he can “cure” homosexuality by rounding everyone up into camps and the pastor whose advice to parents was “if your kid has a limp wrist, crack that wrist.”

  • That_Susan

    Well one day, I was feeling so enamored of what I’d learned about the supposed cancer-prevention/healing properties of vinegar and baking soda that I tried mixing them together and drinking them. I almost suffocated, but I think what saved me is that I was near enough a water faucet to quickly drink some water and clear out the “science experiment” bubbling in my throat.

    Sadly, I can’t blame Zsuzsanna for my near death (who knows, maybe it would have cleared up soon on its own without the water, so maybe I wasn’t “near death” but just felt like it). I can only blame my own over-enthusiastic stupidity (I’d read about vinegar and baking soda’s benefits on the Internet, but the idea of mixing them as a drink was strictly my own brainchild).

    I do still eat apple seeds (I’ve learned that I can eat the seeds of two apples a day without developing symptoms of arsenic poisoning), and I also like to eat a little avocado pit whenever I have avocadoes. Ooooh, maybe I should start a blog about it.

  • That_Susan

    Thanks; I’ll keep that in mind. 🙂

  • Brennan

    I wonder if ol’ Stevie is on the Southern Poverty Law Center’s radar.

  • Trollface McGee

    Thank you, I think for some of us, it’s easy to dismiss this as the rantings of an idiot, but these rantings still hold sway over a segment of the population and lead to violence. It is evil. No one should have to hide, and least of all young people.

  • Trollface McGee
  • B.A.

    I wish the Southern Poverty Law Center would list them as a hate group–but could they be considered one? My late grandfather was a civil/human rights advocate who used to get SPLC’s mailings. I am thankful every day for his influence.

  • Nightshade

    ‘Therefore, please understand that this blog post simply reflects my entirely worthless medical opinions…’ At least she got that part right.

  • B.A.

    He sounds like one of those idiots who still believes AIDS is only a “gay disease”. I used to work in a hospital and our patients who had AIDS were gay,straight,bi,male,female,white,black,etc. Your first paragraph is correct.
    He’s probably in the closet,as the blogger stated. I don’t know what the wife’s excuse is.

  • B.A.

    She IS a plague!

  • Nightshade

    Mr. ‘Pisseth Against the Wall’ has a lot to learn about epidemiology.

  • B.A.

    Thanks to Trollface McGee,whose post I just read when I scrolled down,I found out that they are on SPLC’S radar.

  • B.A.

    Thank goodness. As I stated in my previous post,my late grandfather used to get SPLC’s mailings and I loved reading them. I will be eternally grateful for his influence.

  • B.A.

    Ain’t that the truth.

  • {sigh} The minute I read Anderson’s name I knew there was gonna yet more examples of his special brand of batshit crazy. That man is sooooo homophobic I really have to wonder what he keeps hidden deep in his closet.

  • You have a point. I truly cannot imagine sitting in that church week after week listening to the demented rambling he spouts out. The fact that there are people who can and do is IMHO, scary as hell. You have to wonder what kind of person stays in an environment like that willingly. The Stockhold syndrome does come to mind here.

  • Delilah Hart

    These people need to be investigated. He needs to be investigated for inciting hate crimes, and she needs to be investigated for medical fraud!

  • On the other hand, it’s also made it possible for them to be SHOWN for the idiots they are just as quickly. People have more sources for information now. Without the Internet… well, they’d still be dicks, but we’d have a much more difficult time proving it with their own words and fact-checking would be a bitch.

  • Smidnite

    Yeah, I get embarrassed about it too.

    Remember Ev Mecham?

  • His wife is the daughter of Michael and Debi Pearl. That’s HER excuse in a nutshell. Notice in the picture that she’s holding HIM, but he’s NOT holding *her*. The body language is horrifying.

  • Aimee Shulman

    Apparently his other sermons include “a lengthy discourse on the lying, evil ways of Jewish people.” Dude is truly a charmer, isn’t he?

  • Edie Moore McGee

    I thought she was a German chick he picked up in Germany when he was evangelizing there.

  • EndlessRepetition

    Well, no worse than any of the other savage arguments we’ve heard over the years. What’s clear is that a lot of people want to kill the gays. Only the why changes.

  • Independent Thinker

    Now you know why I straight up refuse to live in my home state of Florida. Orlando isn’t bad but there are many other parts of the state that do a fantastic job of living in the dark ages socially.

  • EndlessRepetition

    Don’t worry about your daughter. Lesbians don’t draw the same antipathy as gay men.

  • At least… I *thought* she was one of the Pearl daughters… does someone know for certain if I was mistaken?

  • EndlessRepetition

    That’s wishful thinking, unfortunately. Plenty of guys believe just like the good Rev. here but won’t say it except around their buds.

  • Independent Thinker

    It makes make sick that these pray the gay away camps are tax exempt. Please use my tax dollars to send gay kids to college instead of these “camps”.

  • Probably because a Gay Man presents the ultimate *threat* to these fearmongering misogynists because of the fear that they’ll do to THEM what they do to women… while a pair of lesbians just creates this mental fairy tale of “I could turn them straight if I gave ’em a taste of MY manly manliness!”

  • EndlessRepetition

    Don’t kid yourself. “Their ignorance, their arrogance, and their disdain for others” is what drives many men to become true believers. I don’t see a lot of the “Love your neighbor as yourself” business. I see a lot more self-righteous egotism and an excuse to reject others out-of-hand.

  • EndlessRepetition

    I figure it’s just primal instinct. Male wolves will sometimes attack and kill the runts of their pack in order to keep the whole strong. These human animals respond to effeminate males on the same base level.

  • EndlessRepetition

    Nah. They don’t really care about AIDS. It’s just another excuse to go after gays.

  • Andi GreyScale

    ““No homos will ever be allowed in this church as long as I am pastor here,” he insisted. “Never! Say ‘You’re crazy.’ No, you’re crazy if you think that there’s something wrong with my ‘no homo’ policy.”

    Wow… how Christ-like of him. /sarcasm

  • Brennan

    I’m pretty sure the Pearl girls are Rebecka, Shalom, and Shoshana. Shalom and Shoshana, at least, seem to be slightly more sane than Zuzu and in more stable marriages (which should give you an idea of just how Out There Anderson is). Rebecka Pearl-Anast and her husband have Issues, but they’re more the radical-separatist lets-live-in-the-desert-and-declare-the-end-of-days types than the actively genocidal Andersons.

  • Except there’s nothing functionally *threatening* about effeminate males. The only way they constitute a “threat” is if there’s the worry of *forcing* one of these misogynistic males into the feminine “role” they so eagerly force on women.

  • EndlessRepetition

    Many thanks. You’re a fine lady. A bit of advice: listen to a few conversations among your Arizona men on the topic. Might give you a different perspective. You are right that most Arizonans are not homophobic, which is to say that they don’t fear gays. Many do despise them, however, and wish them harm.

  • EndlessRepetition

    A predator doesn’t need a threat to attack. He only needs a prey.

  • *nod* There is that. *deep sigh* And the belief that anything “feminine” is weakness runs DEEP with these arses.

  • EndlessRepetition

    Usually not quite so vicious but I’ve met plenty of Christians who are equally dismissive of gay folk.

  • EndlessRepetition

    It’s the essence of being male – contempt for the weak, worship of the strong.

  • Brennan

    You are so incredibly wrong on that one. Homophobic straight men might see gay men as a threat, but they see lesbians as an insult, and this is not a group that responds rationally to perceived insult. I don’t mean to alarm That_Susan, but minimizing violence against lesbian and bisexual women helps no one.

  • Brennan

    Gonna have to disagree. Even if you ignore physical violence against lesbians, that “mental fairy tale” becomes a lot less harmless when it begets actual sexual violence. Look up “corrective rape” some time if you have a strong stomach. And as for the psychology behind it, I think the antipathy against gay men has less to do with straight men worrying that they’ll be domestically abused and more to do with the fear of somehow “catching the gay” or “seeming gay,” which puts them at risk for the same systemic and cultural violence that gay people face.

  • Oh, I agree that the “mental fairy tale” is horrific in potential consequences. I was looking for possible explanations for the suggestion made by the previous poster. I tend to do that. Look at a situation and then start coming up with possible reasons for WHY that situation is the way it is. It’s part of the whole story teller thing I’ve been training myself in since childhood.

    I just don’t like the idea of someone thinking that they know someone else better than that person does. I’ve gotten my share of the attitude from people and I don’t like the idea of being told who I’m supposed to be or how I’m supposed to think.

    The whole anti-gay thought process, though, is horrific from the bottom to the top and it needs to *end*. But it’s the sort of thing that isn’t going to end overnight.

  • What bothers me is the way they are promoting their Dine housekeeper and nanny. I bet they aren’t paying her minimum wage, let alone ten bucks an hour.

  • Gypsy Rose B

    The key word in that second part is “evolution.”

  • Astrin Ymris

    I don’t think Steven Anderson has anything remotely scientific in mind. He’s saying that if humanity “pleases” his god by killing all gay men (it’s not clear whether lesbians are on the hit list, or repentant “ex-gays”) then his god will miraculously heal all AIDS infections in the heterosexual population.

    Since the verse is specific to men who’ve had sex with other men “in the manner of a woman”, I’m thinking that Steven Anderson expects the deeply-closeted fundgelical gays who’ve never acted on their sexual orientation to be exempt, too. And anything that happened at church camp wouldn’t count, either.

  • That_Susan

    My daughter said that she’s met some people at school who feel like you can’t even have real sex without a penis, so maybe that’s why.

  • That_Susan

    Yes, I’ve heard about corrective rape happening in parts of Africa where homosexuality is illegal.

  • EndlessRepetition

    More to the point, such men see a woman as a prize, not a rival.

  • Antoinette Herrera

    Steven and Zsuzsanna Anderson may or may not be the most hateful homophobes out there (the Westboro Death Cult is still spreading the fear and loathing), but they certainly deserve a prize for their unique brand of homophobia, misogyny, and knack for grifting.

    How retched.

  • Mel

    Wait. You have to PAY people for work? What a crazy idea.

    I felt a) bad for the young woman because I suspect she is completely disposable to the Andersons, b)bad for little Steven since he’s not getting much attention from his parents and c) ragingly angry since I feel like the young woman is probably getting a ton of work put on her for nothing more than the honor of working for the ‘esteemed’ pastor.

  • Mel

    Nea, that’s because she only peddles her options online. When her family is sick, they use Western, modern medicine. Ex: Boaz’s survival.

  • That_Susan

    Except if the “prize” they’re after ends up falling in love with a woman. 🙂 Then they might see the other woman as their rival.

  • Catherine

    How is this man not on any FBI watchlists?

    Oh, right…because he’s a white Christian male and this is America.

  • Does he really want to enact old testament law? In that case, a woman somewhere should accuse him of raping her somewhere away from people in the field:

    “Deu 22:25 …if a man find a damsel in the field, and the man force her, and lie with her: then the man only that lay with her shall die: 26 But unto the damsel thou shalt do nothing … 27 For he found her in the field, and the betrothed damsel cried, and there was none to save her.”

    Since such an alleged rape happened away from people, he will have no clear evidence of his innocence.
    ———-

    Important: I do NOT mean the above. I do not tell any woman to lie, or want him killed for a crime he did not commit. I want to show that he don’t really want Old Testament law.

  • ConcepcionImmaculadaPantalones

    This guy is an utter idiot. Who apparently might actually see and read some of the same news articles online that many of us do – it’s just that he conveniently ignores/misses a lot of the important factual parts. Straight women who have a male partner who has had sex with other men (this includes the men who have been to prison and only engaged in homosexuality within that specific setting) are increasingly being infected with HIV. Transmission through blood/semen is the most common and a person with HIV/AIDS would have to spit with an open wound or cut in their mouth into the open cut or wound of another individual to have any real chance of infecting them with HIV/AIDS. Sadly, if the comment sections on these articles is any indication, the ignorant are demanding they stay ignorant and refuse to consider any and ALL facts because ignorance is more important for them to hold onto. In African countries where the percentage of the population with HIV/AIDS is staggeringly high just reading about it depresses me, older ‘wealthy’ men with HIV/AIDS transmit it to much younger women often living in poverty and desperate that they’ve paid to have sex but don’t bother mention their infection – then there’s the rapes and the fact that condom use is so low that pregnancy is more likely and children – who still have less of a chance to be receiving medications to treat HIV – are suffering from the disease whether it’s due to the fact that they are infected or because of the poverty and other factors resulting from the fact that their parents are.

    If he wants to suggest that AIDS can be totally eliminated by genocide of all gays, then I’m suggesting that the world can be made an entirely peaceful and pleasant place with a genocide of everyone fundamentalist. All the hate – gone. All the hypocrisy in the name of whatever they’ve turned God into because it suits their purpose (definitely isn’t my God or a God anyone should believe in…devil…no they’ve made it worse than even that) – gone. I’m all for rounding up only the portion of the population from all religions who are the worst offenders and the biggest obstructions to peace for humanity, but worry that it will be a small enough number to be considered plain murder.

  • Baby_Raptor

    How long does it take to become jaded to people calling for your death? I really should be used to this by now but it still terrifies me and pisses me off.

    If god really is up there when I die and he wants to lecture me on not believing in him I’m going to point directly at people like this and say “Why would I want to serve a god that does nothing about his followers gleefully planning the genocide of my kind?”

  • Nea

    I’d forgotten about that. So the gummit’s only Teh Eebil when she wants *other* people to die. Nice.

  • lodrelhai

    That is the essence of being a bully, not being a male. Plenty of females act the same, and plenty of males have no such issues. That’s for both humans and animals.

  • I grieve for any GLBT children growing up in that toxic sludge. The self-hatred they’re being indoctrinated into… it breaks my heart and makes me want to rage.

  • EndlessRepetition

    Don’t you kid yourself. I’ve met precious few women who acted like bullies and nearly all of them were lesbian (and butch). As for those “plenty of males” with “no such issues”, ask them who they admire and you’ll very quickly develop a new perspective. Finally, your comparison between humans and animals was redundant. Humans are animals. Those with strength and ferocity dominate and demand while the rest serve.

  • Astrin Ymris

    Girls and women tend to use verbal/emotional abuse when they bully rather than physical violence.

  • lodrelhai

    You know… I was going to continue this discussion despite how you have twice now made harsh, stereotypical, judgemental comments about people as groups (essence of men is contempt for the weak, nearly all female bullies are butch lesbians). And then I realized. You’re troll-baiting. So here’s your flag, and I’m done.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    I know you’re new on our comments page sooo… you are skirting very close to violating our posting rules with the remark about butch lesbians – Please read our comment policy. We like to keep NLQ recovery friendly – http://www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/comment-policy-please-read-before-posting/

  • EndlessRepetition

    Just bringing idealists like yourself back to earth with a reminder that those harsh stereotypes become established by being right more often than not. I don’t mind using the rose colored glasses occasionally to imagine where we might go from where we are. I only checked your remark because you took that vision away from the root of the problem. Real problems are solved in the real world.

  • EndlessRepetition

    I apologize for offending some people’s sensibilities Suzanne but I feel it’s important to reground certain people so they don’t fool themselves about with whom they’re dealing.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    I hear you.

  • lodrelhai

    Okay, you apologized to Suzanne for offending, but you don’t seem to get just how offensive you’re being. So here we go.

    Hi, I’m an extremely butch bisexual woman who, despite being very tall, very built, and very friendly, was bullied verbally, emotionally, and physically by pretty, petite, straight girls for most of my school life.

    Most guys? They thought I was awesome. I could fix cars, play football, talk comic books, tutor in math and science, and wasn’t easily grossed out. I was one of them! But getting along so well with guys even though I wasn’t a “real” girl apparently made me a threat to some of the “real” girls who looked and acted and talked the way girls should. At least, I guessed that’s the reason they went after me – none of them ever really bothered to explain themselves at the time.

    How did girls half my size bully me? Because I was perfectly aware of just how big I was, and just how badly I could hurt somebody without meaning to – I accidentally cracked a friend’s ribs once with a hug! – so I didn’t do anything for the longest time. Because I thought they were right, that I was freakishly oversized and unfeminine, so they had the right to look down on me. And because no matter how much I tried to ignore or disassociate myself from these girls, I still heard every sneer and snicker, still felt every shove and punch, each one destroying any foundation for self-esteem before I had any chance to build on it.

    I was about halfway through high school when I really started to accept myself for who I was, and started taking stands. And my size did come in handy then, since it only took one physical altercation where I fought back to convince most bullies I wasn’t worth bothering with. I made friends with a girl who stayed one of my best friends for the next 2 decades, and a couple years into our association discovered something that shocked me. I already knew part of her family. Her cousin was one of the worst bullies I faced in middle school.

    To this day, I have no idea if that cousin recognized me as the girl she used to shove into walls. We never discussed it. But I did learn some things about her, like how she was the butt of a lot of family jokes for being squeamish, bad at athletics, and more emotional than rational. I also discovered she was dealing with a hell of a lot of religious bullying, though I didn’t realize just how extensive it was until I left the church myself. Most of all, I discovered that she was growing and changing and trying to find her way to herself, just as much as I was. And we actually had things in common, not enough to make us instant BFFs, but enough that we could relate, and talk, and actually enjoy each other’s company from time to time.

    So maybe she didn’t bully me because I was a threat myself. Maybe I was the embodiment of so much of what threatened her. I had so many of the qualities she was dissed for not having. And I was safe to lash out at, first because I wasn’t a family member who could tell her parents and get her in trouble, then because I didn’t fight back. It doesn’t excuse what she or her friends did to me, not one iota. But for me at least, it eased the sting the way nothing in the intervening years – not even fighting back – had been able to do.

    Grouping people into stereotypes helps no one. It’s a primary tool for othering – dismissing someone as not like you, not worth dealing with, not normal. Not quite human. It is the root of bullying, the essential first step that makes it okay to treat someone else like dirt. Othering the vulnerable means it’s okay to not help them. Othering the bully reinforces their othering of you. And they must other you – must see you as different, below them, wrong – to bully.

    Every time Debi Pearl sneers at woman who doesn’t fit her model – othering.

    Every time Michael Pearl calls children defiant sinners who must be broken – othering.

    Every time Steven Anderson says gays are an abomination – othering.

    These people feel safe in their allegations because they believe completely that they are better than the people they attack. And until they actually see those people as people rather than the stereotype they insist those “others” are, they will never be able to understand them, or communicate with them, or see just how much damage they are doing.

    I know othering is something we all do. Many of us here have a long history of it – we are here because we were part of the same hyper-religious extremist movements we now decry. I was bullied at lot at school, but I was also heavily involved in my Fundamentalist church (source of a lot of my self-image as unfeminine and therefore unworthy). Over the years I marched and demonstrated to “keep women from murdering their babies” and “protect marriage” and “stop the gay agenda” (I was in the closet a long time). I’m still making amends for that. Many of the regular writers here – including the founder – testify to how harshly they treated their families, all in an effort to save them from what they thought was a worse fate, and telling as many as will listen the dangers and damage of that lifestyle is one of the ways they are making their amends.

    But I didn’t stop fighting abortion until I started looking at the women having them as people in unique situations who were making this choice for unique and valid reasons. I didn’t stop voting anti-gay and accept myself as bi until I started looking at LGBT people as people who were attracted to other people in different and valid ways than straight folks. And the former-quiverfull parents here have testified repeatedly that breaking from that lifestyle required they see their children as people who are learning to live and grow, rather than bundles of sin that must be broken or else.

    Unless we look past the stereotypes to the people, NOTHING WILL EVER CHANGE.

  • ConcepcionImmaculadaPantalones

    If it helps any, the straight girls who seem to embody everything a stereotypical girl should be don’t stick to just bullying ‘others’. I was straight, feminine and petite – and weird. Not only that but a lot of things about transitioning from girl to woman I had to teach myself since my introverted mom who worked full time teaching at schools with a long drive to-from them was always busy and/or exhausted. I never loved her any less but our relationship is now so much different because as years have passed I’ve realized that the things that hurt so deeply from back them weren’t deliberate she was doing the best she was capable of as a mom. But I did say to her in a moment that I am ashamed of myself beyond belief for “We will never be close and we will never be friends”. She had just lost her mother and was mourning the things that she had wished she had been able to have with her mom and because I was upset with her for something entirely unrelated I tell her she won’t have any of it with me either. I’ve asked for her to forgive me for that and she has – we still have times where feeings are hurt and things need to be resolved, and I personally have been working on my tendency to become harsh and negative because my mom’s said or done something that I think she should know not to do because it will hurt me because it’s something that hurt her when her mom did it to her in the past.

    People have to *want* to change their thinking and be willing to actively participate in whatever process it requires to do that. I’ve found that learning why someone is a certain way helps me in that it gives me the answers I need to forgive and move on, but they need to be involved and willing to share the workload to mend fences and build a relationship.

  • EndlessRepetition

    I think you have it backwards. We don’t hate because we “other”. We “other” because we hate. The ruthless stereotyping you decry is no more than human nature.

    You are obviously a woman of great passion and compassion. Don’t assume those qualities in others.