Quoting Quiverfull: He is ‘The King’ and You MUST Serve Him in All Things?

Quoting Quiverfull: He is ‘The King’ and You MUST Serve Him in All Things? December 2, 2014

donofthronesby Debi Pearl of No Greater Joy – A Wise Woman Builds Her House

Whenever I read Debi’s little pearls of wisdom like this I cannot help but imagine her shaking in rage while she repeats this crap to herself in a sort of self brain-washing ritual.

A wise woman seeks to be a part of her husband’s life. His interest becomes her interest. She looks for ways to help him in every endeavor in which he is involved. When he needs a helping hand, it is her hand that is there first.

A wise woman knows that his peace of mind (and sometimes, wise understanding) is something she can give or take away by her observations and conversation concerning circumstances or people. She limits her conversation to the positive.

A wise woman sets a joyful mood in the household. She uses laughter, music and happy times to stir the children to a positive, joyful frame of mind. She knows this light-heartedness helps take stress off her husband.

A wise woman gauges her husband’s needs. She seeks to fulfill his desires before even he is aware of them. She never leaves him daydreaming outside the home. She supplies his every desire.

A wise woman understands that her husband’s need to be honored is not based on his performance but on his position. She learns quickly to defer with enthusiasm to his ideas or plans. She looks for ways to reverence him. She knows this is God’s will for her life.

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, influential bloggers and cultural enforcers and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

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  • Nea

    She sounds just the same as Nancy Campbell, really. Only Nancy drenches everything with cloying sweetness and Debi keeps letting slip the underlying contempt for everyone not a clone of herself.

  • Trollface McGee

    I think Debi accidentally copy pasta’d that from a job ad seeking a house elf.

  • ConcepcionImmaculadaPantalones

    What if you’re with a man who actually finds the never-ending “let’s only talk about positive stuff and have a Stepford smile!” nauseating and would really truly like to get an honest opinion from his wife? If he didn’t want to know what you thought then why the hell would he have bothered asking – that kind of man.

    Wait…Debi would say such a man does not exist. For if he did then not even her daily self-brainwashing recitals could stop her from going on a hike somewhere with Michael and pushing him off a cliff. Errr…at least that’s what I’d do right now if he was in close proximity.

  • OooShiny

    So the wise woman is an empty vessel of clay; a permanently-smiling orifice, incubator and maid who, minute by minute 24/7, remolds and readjusts herself to relieve, entertain and serve men?

    That’s not wisdom; that’s prostitution.

  • I personally do not want any copied pasta – especially if there is sauce involved. Sounds messy.

  • “What if you’re with a man who … would really truly like to get an honest opinion from his wife?”

    Well he’s not a REAL man then – he’s been neutered by the liberal feminazis. (sarcasm)

  • Saraquill

    A wise woman knows to avoid Michael Pearl, or even better, report him to the police.

  • texcee

    If ever there were real-life Stepford Wives, these women are it! What sad, shallow existences they must lead.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer


  • Nightshade

    Is the copied pasta one of the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s noodly appendages?

  • Astrin Ymris

    Let’s remember that Ira Levin’s Stepford Wives were actually robots, not human beings. Or at least they were in the book– I was actually relieved when I read that the real women involved were dead and at peace, rather than living as mind-controlled zombies. I found the latter prospect far more horrifying.

  • “A wise woman knows that his peace of mind (and sometimes, wise understanding) is something she can give or take away by her observations and conversation concerning circumstances or people.” – Debi

    Anti-Pearl: “5 Signs Your Relationship Is Going To Last: The major issue in relationships is whether you take responsibility for your feelings of worth, safety, lovability and happiness, or whether you make your partner responsible for these feelings…The major way you can begin to heal your relationship is to learn how to love yourself — how to take loving care of your own feelings. Sharing love heals. Trying to get love destroys.”

    A wise woman knows that a man has to take responsibility for his own peace of mind – she can’t give it or take it away.

    “A wise woman … supplies his every desire.” – Debi

    No human being should have their every desire supplied by another. It is striving that motivates us, and usually working towards goals that makes us happy with them.

    “A wise woman understands that her husband’s need to be honored is not based on his performance but on his position… She knows this is God’s will for her life.” – Debi

    If a man – or woman – is honored all the time with performance having nothing to do with it, he will not be able to appreciate the honor. It would be like having a mp3 recording saying: “You are fantastic, you are great, you are stunning” in an endless loop. Honor only mean something if it is not expected all the time, and comes from someone whose opinion (positive or negative) you value.

  • Smidnite

    That’s SLAVERY!

  • Trollface McGee

    Copy pasta is an abomination to the noodly one, for it only the fresh, al dente pasta that is made in the image of the appendages.

  • MizzKittay

    You betcha. That’s the only difference I’ve noticed between those two girls. They both just regurgitate the same thing over and over. Both are vile to the core though.

    I still remember Nancys article written about the fact that someone was going downstairs (or upstairs) and someone didn’t ask Nancy if she wanted a glass of water (le gasp!). She wrote a huge article about gratitude and thinking about others. That rates about a 10 on my vile-shit-o-meter. If you had a grandmother or mother like Nancy and you didn’t get her a glass of water you could expect the be the topic of shame for her next article. That’s emotional abuse. ((This doesn’t even include her disappearing act with children)).

    Debi’s maliciousness is just flat out exposed. Not much to say here.

    Out of the two women I give Nancy the spot of Queen B-itch. Since Nancy tends to disguise her inner most feelings. Anyone who doesn’t know Nancy could easily mistake her for someone sweet and caring. Her toxin is a bit harder to spy.

    Hey if there’s an NLQ mod/writer in the forum can we do an article on comparing and contrasting on Nancy, Debi and Michelle? It might be good for some giggles and thought provoking discussion.

  • Nightshade

    ‘No human being should have their every desire supplied by another.’ Exactly! With the exception of young children no human being should be completely responsible for another, that’s just too much weight of responsibility for anyone to have to carry. A person, male or female, who can’t or won’t understand that some of his/her desires may not be reasonable or even possible to have met isn’t good relationship material.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    You got it.. perhaps an open thread letting the readers compare the two or a side by side comparison on different topics between the two.

  • Nea

    I remember the glass of water! Nancy both bitches that she wasn’t being served *and* patted herself on the back for the exercise to go fetch for herself. I was impressed that she managed to make it all about her own perfection coming and going.

  • *salute*

  • *salutes the whole damn exchange* Brilliant, my fellows, simply brilliant.

  • Christine in Australia

    A wise woman lets her husband go to the football or golf without her if she isn’t interested. Because a wise woman knows feigned interest/lack of interest can be easily spotted and sours enjoyment of the sport.
    And a wise man doesn’t drag his wife off to sport if she hates it.
    While there should be some shared interests, no relationship is going to have complete mutual interests. Forcing someone into activities they hate all the time is just going to make them sour and resentful. Oh hang on, it’s DEBI isn’t it?

  • Nicole

    This made me think about a story my husband told me about growing up. His (abusive) father would get up from the dinner table and go downstairs to the family room. Mom/kids would clear and clean. My husband, being a preteen/teen, would come downstairs when all was done, sit down, and his dad would demand he go get him a beer. He always waited until he sat down to then make his demand.

  • Nea

    One of Debi’s daughters found out such a man existed and her knee-jerk reaction to being treated as a human was to consider him less than a man.

  • Nightshade

    Hit that nail squarely on the head. There’s no good reason to force a partner into an activity that one enjoys and the other hates. I’ve told my man many times if he wants to go do something I’m not interested in by all means do it, I’m quite capable of managing on my own for a while. I suppose that’s a big issue for Debi though, she seems to think a woman has to depend on a man for EVERYTHING.

  • Mary_Shelley

    This woman seems to spend a lot of time compensating for submitting to an oppressive man by being oppressive to other women.

  • Baby_Raptor

    1 person is never going to be able to meet your every desire. It’s jut not possible. People are whimsy, fallible things. There’s nothing bad about this fact, but it IS a reality that a lot of folks choose to desperately ignore.

  • Baby_Raptor

    I fetch my own water multiple times a day. This must make me some sort of water god.

  • Baby_Raptor

    If only it were as easy to free these people as it was to free Dobby.

  • Baby_Raptor

    Or being a robot.

  • katiehippie

    Some of my former in-laws used to treat their kids like servants. “go get this, go get that” I hated that. I figure I can get stuff for my kids just as much as they get stuff for me. My house is as egalitarian as I can make it.

  • B.A.

    Or both. 🙁

  • Allison the Great

    Or we get compared to mantle pieces or decoration. No matter what, we are nothing but objects.

  • Allison the Great

    An ad placed by the Malfoys, apparently. Good for Dobby for telling them to fuck off (in his own way)

  • KarenH

    Buffy bot.

  • Or terminal stupidity.

  • I guess if she limits her conversation to the positive, she won’t bother telling him about the realities of their daily life. Makes you wonder why? We already know he was abusive on their honeymoon, so I gather that never stopped.

  • ConcepcionImmaculadaPantalones

    My dad would definitely disagree with that – he’s mixed with the secular world, feminists, *and* is an active if somewhat liberal-minded Christian, been doing so his entire 67 years of life and most definitely has not been neutered (though he did get snipped after my brother and I were born because it was the responsible thing to do and he and my mother had decided that they didn’t want/couldn’t afford more than 2 children). I see my parents marriage of 47 years (they’ve been married longer than the Pearls and have raised their two kids to be responsible and kind adults without any plumbing supply line discipline.) as something I want to strive for. Kind of funny that way….grow up in a home with parents who respect each other, love each other, and treat each other like adults who have opinions/needs/feelings which are important and heard…of course that’s what the adult child will want for themselves. That’s why I personally find so much of what the Pearls have pushed in their books and everyone who has pushed nonsense that’s like the Pearl’s so disturbing and disappointing – they’re actively working towards an increasing population of people who are abused and emotionally damaged/stunted! The system they are promoting as how to have a happy and healthy life and family is already showing the signs of causing the complete opposite!

  • ConcepcionImmaculadaPantalones

    Debi’s children should not have been permitted to reproduce. Their sickness could have been stopped that much sooner if there wasn’t a new generation to continue this disease after Debi and Michael die.

  • Kathleen Margaret Schwab

    I know a few women who tried this and every one said it made both themselves and the husband more unhappy.

  • Guest

    Free Dobby Pearl!

  • Nea

    Ironically, one of those daughters has accidentally discovered the benefits of positive reinforcement in parenting. Or more accurately, her toddler-daughter was allowed to start “raising” the baby brother and treated him like a dog – do what I want, get a treat. That this led to obedience without beatings seems to have sailed right over the adult Pearl’s heads, much less what that means for Papa’s fondness for beatings.

  • MizzKittay

    So do I Nea. It stunned me so badly that I still remember it!! D: That’s exactly what Nancy did bitches at someone else on the sly while upping herself at the same time.

    Sorry for the late reply.

  • MizzKittay

    Cool!!! Thanks Suzanne 😀 I’ll go check it out!

    Sorry for the late reply

  • MizzKittay

    What a dick move. I’m sorry that your hubby had to grow up with that. I also hope it’s made your husband a much stronger and wiser man for it.

    Sorry for the late reply.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Haven’t done it yet. Still rereading my Pearl/Campbell books to start putting up side by side comparisons. Will be an ongoing project.