by Doug Wilson of Blog and Mablog from ‘His Hand in Marriage’ as quoted by Vaughn Ohlman at his blog True Love Doesn’t Wait – Courtship: That Volatile Sexual Relationship
Editor’s note: This is one of those few times I don’t entirely disagree with Vaughn Ohlman. Yes, sexual attraction and chemistry exist and they do play an important part in marriage and who we chose to marry. But life outside the Fundamentalist Christian Bubble is just not as sexually charged and focused as it is inside. Most people don’t walk around thinking about sex all the time, unless they are a certain sort of sexually repressed Christian man.
A father has no obligation to protect his daughter from sex. If he tries such a thing, he is disobeying God. The issue is morality, not prudishness. It is false and unbilblical for courtship to be treated as though it were entirely a “spiritual thing”. The courtship relationship should be handled carefully by Christians because it is a volatile sexual relationship. The fact that it is unconsummated does not keep in from being sexual. When a young man approaches a girl’s father , there is no sense anyone pretending that something platonic or spiritual is happening. “Mr. Smith, may I have you permission to speak with your daughter about missions?” The sexual relationship is there, like an unfired pistol, loaded and cocked. The godly young man who comes to a girl’s father is seeking a sexual relationship with that man’s daughter.
Doug Wilson, Her Hand in Marriage, emphasis his
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