I Dated Christian Grey

I Dated Christian Grey February 18, 2015

Image from Samantha Field
Image from Samantha Field

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Defeating The Dragons

Editor’s note: Samantha wrote an excellent piece with the same title for The Mary Sue – I Dated Christian Grey that sparked some thought provoking dialogue in the comments. Loved this bit:

All of this is what happens in the early stages of any abusive relationship, especially with an abuser who uses “BDSM” to disguise his intentions. Victims are instructed by their abusers to view the abuse as normal, and normalcy asspecial. Anastasia Steele and I were so brave any time we dared to “stand up” to him, and Christian and my abuser were so unbelievably wonderful for having brief moments of normal human decency.

The danger in Fifty Shades of Grey is that it does what an abuser does: it makes us think that abuse is normal.

If you’re unfamiliar with The Mary Sue it’s part of the Dan Abrams news site Mediaite. Mediaite is one of the rare news sites that examines all sides of the issues instead of telling you what to think always like traditional network news. Check it out. They featured Samantha’s writing so they have to be at least as awesome as her.

Now onto Samantha’s blog posting…


I watched the film adaptation of 50 Shades of Grey last Thursday, and … I could talk about that atrocity of a film for a very long time, but did my best to condense some of my thoughts into an article for The Mary Suewhich you can find here. It’s generated some interesting discussion in the comment section there, but I’m curious to hear your thoughts.

It’s interesting to me that many of the people who supposedly “read” the post somehow think that I’m just anti-BDSM, which y’all know why that is hilariousBut, just to make sure it’s super-duper clear, none of Christian’s actions that I critique in that post have anything to do with sex– surprisingly, I was pretty ok with the actual sex that happened, although there was a shocking lack of orgasms.

And, honestly, if this is where the plot actually ended and we didn’t have two more books to turn into movies, I’d be tentatively thrilled-ish. The last shot of the film before it cuts to the credits has a note of finality to it. She’s given back the laptop, the car, and she’s leaving after she told him to never touch her again. I mean, if that was where we were actually leaving it? I could maybe almost be ok with it.

There’s a bunch of other shit that happened that makes me not ok with it, but a part of me hopes we all collectively forget there were ever books and that the two other movies don’t get made.


Samantha blogs at Defeating The Dragons and is a member of The Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network

Read Samantha’s detailed review of Mark and Grace Driscoll’s book “Real Marriage”

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9  

Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13


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