Quoting Quiverfull: When is it ‘Intentionally Available’ and When is it ‘Stalking’?

Quoting Quiverfull: When is it ‘Intentionally Available’ and When is it ‘Stalking’? February 26, 2015

quotingquiverfull

by Kristen Clark from Girl Defined – How to be Intentionally Available Without Chasing Boys

Editor’s note: Remember all those screeds by the Botkin sisters, Von Ohlman and others in the Quiverfull Evangelical Christian movement about girls keeping their hearts pure waiting for courtship?  This is a bit different. The author started out by pointing out that Ruth pursued Boaz in a serious way to indicate she wanted him for her husband and she goes on to explain how a ‘mature’ Christian girl is allowed to do the same. The problem being is that some of this advice comes across like something someone obsessed might do instead of  a ‘mature’ person. Life is so much simpler outside the Evangelical Christian bubble. You don’t have to get daddy to pick your mate, or use any of these techniques to indicate you want a relationship, you can just simply talk to or befriend someone you’re interested in without it being all weird, stalkery and intense.

 

When I first met Zack, there was an obvious mutual attraction between us.

Instead of hiding myself away, I made myself intentionally available. This looked like me intentionally seeking out a conversation with him, purposely going to his choir performance, attending a specific Christian conference because he was going, and staying late at a mutual friend’s birthday party simply to chat with him in groups.

I never asked him out. I never verbally told him I was interested. I just made myself available to get to know him. He was a godly guy and I wanted it to be clear that I was open for something more when he was ready.

Now, there’s still a fine line even here.

If Zack had made it obvious to me that he wasn’t interested, I would have stopped making myself available. That’s where “chasing” boys comes into play. Once the guy is obviously disinterested, don’t push the relationship. Don’t lead. Don’t manipulate. Take a step back and give it the Lord.

If you’re a godly single girl of marrying age and don’t have a specific guy in mind, you can still make yourself available.

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

13:24 – A Story of Faith and Obsession by M Dolon Hickmon


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