Shalom Pearl Brand Asks, Where Are All The Men?

Shalom Pearl Brand Asks, Where Are All The Men? February 21, 2015

by Bruce Gerencser cross posted from The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser

Shalom Pearl Brand, daughter of child abuse promoters Michael & Debi Pearl, wrote an article for the No Greater Joy website about the lack of good men for all the Christian girls who are waiting for Mr. Righteous to come and sweep them off their feet. Brand writes:

When I was a young woman, the older women were always teaching me and all the other young women what it meant to be a wife, a mother, and a God-honoring woman. As I have gotten older, traveled to many churches, and talked with families, I have seen one overall theme everywhere I go. There are young women walking with God, trained from childhood to serve God so that one day they will make the best wives and mothers possible. They are ready, trained, and waiting for their man to come find them, but the men are not finding them. Why?

These girls are told to wait: He will find you… Stay home and help Mom with the kids… One day that perfect man will come along. But then he does not come and the girls become frustrated and, at times, impatient. The question I hear all the time is, “Where are the men?” Yes there are men, but few are real men—men who were raised to love God, work hard, and make good husbands and fathers. Why?

While mothers have been training their daughters to be good wives, many families stopped raising their sons to be men, instead producing overgrown boys. A large percentage of the boys/men over the last 30 years have been raised to serve the flesh. They were not raised to work; most are soft, sweet-talking, sissy boys. Some are cute and stylish, and silly girls think they are soooo good-looking. Other guys are backward, clumsy, going-nowhere types, and very uncool. But they are the same lazy, self-pleasing, big boys…

…Now as a mother with daughters, I would like to put out an appeal to all the families raising sons. Please teach them to work, love God, and be men—not big boys—so that when my daughters and other families’ daughters are grown, they can serve God through a God-fearing man. My husband and I are raising two little men of our own now. Parker is well on his way to being a man, and our new little one will soon be following in his footsteps. They say boys will be boys. I say little men will be big men.

In the comment section, a man by the name of Mike R left the following advice for properly raising boys:

There are several things parents can do to raise strong, Christian young men. It would take a book to provide a good outline, so I will only provide a few thoughts here.

  • For a young man to put his labor and effort into something, he must see that it has merit (to him, not just to you) and that it is attainable. The easiest way for a young man to recognize the benefit of work is in the physical realm. Every young man wants to be strong and God built our bodies to respond to the demands we place upon them. For a young boy, do some pushups together. Set a goal for a reasonable number just above what he can currently do. Work to attain that goal. Realize that growth takes place when you go beyond what you think possible. If a young child can do 4 push-ups with good form, then set a goal at 7. Expand the goal each time he reaches it. This applies to every area of life and it will be good for him to learn the process early. Later, include chin-ups and jumping rope. These are exercises where success is easily measured.
  • Certain good activities should be practiced daily. He should exercise daily. No, I don’t care if he wants to or not.
  • Mastering certain skills will teach the process of learning. Example: Shooting a bow, throwing knives and/or hatchets.
  • Focus on what is important. Yes, in the overall scheme of things bodily exercise profits little, but that snicker’s bar and soap operas don’t profit at all. Success in the early physical things can lead to success in other areas.
  • For school, focus on what is important. Math and science should always be a focus. He can read the history and literature on his own with little effort. Success in math requires a solid foundation and constant work. He is going to have to earn a living, and a sociology, art or history degree is almost surely not going to cut it. Boys need to work and play outside. Don’t expect a son to be a girl and want to sit in the house all the time.
  • Set goals high in every area of life and expect them to be met. A young man should be expected to excel mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally and financially. It will take drive on his part, opportunity to practice, try and fail, pick himself up and try again. Don’t drive him into the ground, but have high expectations of success. One or more good examples would be very helpful to a young man so he readily sees what success looks like.
  • Choose the best examples of successful manhood and seek to emulate what you see. A young man can analyze another man’s life and choose to emulate a particular area or skill. Anybody that has played of lot of sports can relate to this. For example, this certain basketball player has a good cross-over dribble, so I will analyze what he does and see if I can do it. However, this approach can be applied in any area of life. Take only the best attributes and leave the bad behind.
  • Before he has to care for a family, let him practice caring for an animal. He should know that he must care for those dependent on him. If he ‘forgets’, don’t do it for him. He doesn’t eat until they are fed, watered etc. No exceptions and no excuses. If he has gone to bed and didn’t take care of his animals, get him up to finish the job.
  • Don’t pity your child. Love him abundantly, but if you pity him, you will ruin him.
  • Never reward a young man with food. Food is not used to reward good behavior or console him for a loss. You don’t want him to be a fat slug, so don’t train him to be one. If you think I am wrong here, get over it, I am not.Stock your house with material providing the best examples of manhood. Examples include the following books for young men: GA Henty novels (Examples: “For the Temple”, “Beric the Briton”, etc), Jim Kjelgaard books (Examples: “Stormy”, “Snow Dog”, etc.), “Cowboy Boots in Darkest Africa” by Bill Rice, “Boyhood and Beyond” by Bob Schultz, Boy Scout Handbook, The Sowers series, biographies of great people (Robert Boyle, George Washington Carver, etc.)
  • Provide the best scriptural teaching you can get. I would suggest audio/video/text: Mike Pearl’s material is good, Ray Comfort’s messages (Hell’s best kept secret, etc.),Christian Science – Answers in Genesis, Kent Hovind, etc.
  • Mom’s and wives, reverence your husbands. It is fine to openly acknowledge success in any area of another man’s life. However, it is your husband and your son’s dad that loves and cares for the family. Your son should spend as much time with dad as possible. Let dad teach him what he knows best.

So what do you think, readers? Is Mike R’s advice just what the doctor ordered for turning a boy into a man?

As for me, I am

CC Image from ADH Image
CC Image from ADH Image

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network member, Bruce Gerencser blogs at The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser He writes from the unique perspective of having been a pastor for many years and having seen it all in churches. His journey out of being a true believer and pastor has been an interesting and informative one.

Bruce Gerencser spent 25 years pastoring Independent Fundamental Baptist, Southern Baptist, and Christian Union churches in Ohio, Michigan, and Texas. Bruce attended Midwestern Baptist College in Pontiac, Michigan. He is a writer and operates The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser blog. Bruce lives in NW Ohio with his wife of 35 years. They have six children, and ten grandchildren.

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  • Amarad

    tl;dr….

    Men should do manly, masculine things with muscles and brain-muscles. History, writing, literature, civics, politics, art, psychology, sociology and anything else ‘liberal artsy’* are easy and for sissies***. Math and science are for Men**. Let boys be boys. If he wants to read, learn to cook, paint, draw, play video games, or anything else indoors, he’s a sissy***. Force him to get a pet, preferably a dog, regardless if he wants one or not. Pets don’t have souls so it doesn’t matter how he treats the pet besides basic survival needs, it’s a learning experience! Don’t show your son any empathy or understanding if he can’t meet your high standards in all areas***^, or he’ll turn into a sissy***. If your son doesn’t want to pretend he’s a pioneer-lumberjack-missionary during the Good Old Days of ‘Merica in the manly outdoors 24/7 then he’s a sissy***.

    *Religion and theology is also liberal arts, but that’s totes different. Learning to be a good citizen of a pluralistic nation is for evil communist liberal atheists.
    **Implying that they’re too hard for ‘girls’ or that any man that does poorly is a sissy.
    ***And if your son is a sissy, you’d better beat it out of them fast. Consult Pearl repeatedly for creative suggestions. If that fails, send them to a wayward youth camp until any creative expression is beaten out of them. Sissies are just one step away from becoming evil liberal pretty-boys, which is one step away from ‘The Gay’
    ***^Because heaven forbid young boys and men have time to grow up before expecting them to be a cross between Christian Bale, Davy Crockett and Jesus.

  • Friend

    I don’t have a daughter. If I did, though, and she said she was going out with a hatchet-thrower, we would have quite the talk.

  • Anonyme

    “instead, producing overgrown boys”

    Such as your dad, Shalom? Real men don’t abuse women or throw hissy fits over the tiniest questioning of their choices (the “ground beef incident” springs to mind)

  • brbr2424

    I made a comment on Bruce’s site but I’ll repeat here that Shalom Pearl is on to something. Not what she thinks she is on to, but she has identified an issue in that community. The unintended consequence of the “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” and the stay at home daughter movement is that the girls in this movement are not meeting guys. Duhhhh. When I was in my twenties, I knew girls who stayed home and didn’t go out to parties. You don’t meet people sitting at home. Someone suggested that the guys who grew up in this environment don’t suffer the same fate because they are allowed to interact in the world and go to school and hold jobs. They can date a run of the mill worldly Christian girl and then put the screws to her to.

  • Chris Dagostino

    Mixed bag. Some of those are no-brainers, some make him sound like the military dad from “American Beauty.”

    You could stop trying to drown boys’ natural rough-and-tumble in a sea of Ritalin, for one thing. And you could wean them off of the kind of repressive Pharisee-istic religion that shames young adults about their God-given sexualities and therefore stops them from pursuing long-term relationships.

    Anyone else?

  • Nea

    They were not raised to work;
    Like Rebekah’s layabout husband, you mean? Shalom’s extended family lives in a very glass house for her to be hurling stones.

    be men—not big boys
    Oh, please, Mikey’s an overgrown, violent toddler. And part of him knows it too, it’s why he’s so insecure.

    Mastering certain skills will teach the process of learning. Example: Shooting a bow, throwing knives and/or hatchets.

    *snort* Mikey, why call yourself “Mike R”? You’re usually thrilled to throw your 2 cents in. What precise use is throwing knives or hatchets in your world? You don’t hunt. You don’t do rennfaire acts. You just… what, compare the length of your throw to the length of your penis, because you can’t buy an automotive substitute?

    He is going to have to earn a living, and a sociology, art or history degree is almost surely not going to cut it.
    Wow, I must have imagined a world with a lot of male sociologists, psychologists, artists, and historians (not to mention fashion designers, teachers, carers, politicians, etc.) Ken Burns must be weeping to know he’s never going to have any success in his chosen field.

    A young man can analyze another man’s life and choose to emulate a particular area or skill.
    This is true. A young man can look at Bob Ross and decide to be the next popular art teacher. A young man can look at Gordon Ramsay and decide to be the next celebrity chef. A young man can look at Tommy Hilfiger and…

    Y’know what else? A young man can analyze a successful woman’s life. And a young woman can analyze a successful man’s life in the STEM field. Emulation is not a gender-related trait. Neither is success.

    If you think I am wrong here, get over it, I am not.
    Well THAT’s a completely persuasive argument! /sarcasm

    Kent Hovind… is in jail, dude. That’s your idea of a good example?

  • Nea

    Around here we’d assume he worked for the renaissance festival.

  • Astrin Ymris

    Presumably, Shalom is referring to men raised in the CPM movement, since she wouldn’t consider having an evil secular man as a son-in-law in the first place. So she’s saying that biblical homeschooling is significantly failing to produce good husbands to sire and provide for the next generation of Dominionist voters.

    I wonder if by “raised to serve the flesh” she means that the young men with college degrees in fields with excellent professional prospects aren’t willing to be ritually mounted by “patriarchs” in order to undergo a Duggar-style courtship which pretty much HAS to end in marriage due to Quiverfull purity doctrine?

    And the few young men who have a low enough self-esteem to be willing to put themselves through this process have been abused into learned helplessness/complex PTSD, and have no vocational plans other than “trusting God to provide”?

    Maybe rather than excoriating those other women who aren’t raising their sons “right”, she should take a good, hard look at how the CPM mindset– and her father’s child-rearing advice– have created the very problems she decries.

  • Astrin Ymris

    Thomas Umstattd, Jr. analyzes all the flaws of “courtship” as a way of generating marriages, and concludes that the idea needs to be jettisoned.

    http://www.thomasumstattd.com/2014/08/courtship-fundamentally-flawed/

    It turns out that humans just don’t breed well in captivity.

  • Nea

    Don’t even start me on creating the very problem. I’m reading The Marshmallow Test and almost every word is a condemnation of CPM childrearing, although the author isn’t mentioning religion at all. But he talks at length about how overcontrolled, stressed children have not learned self control.

  • Anonyme

    Methinks a psychologist would have a field day with Mike Pearl.

  • Friend

    Excellent link! Thank you for posting.

  • SAO

    Men with independence and self-confidence don’t want to jump through the ridiculous hoops set by fathers in the CPM world. Further, no sensible man would start a courtship with a woman he barely knows, knowing that the courtship is expected to end in marriage.

  • Mermaid Warrior

    I was thinking the same thing. I also can’t help but wonder if this lifestyle produces girls who aren’t, well, interesting enough for the boys they’re trying to attract. I know there was an NLQ article on this a while back. The boys are allowed to go out and do things. They’re still sheltered, but not NEARLY as much as the girls, who aren’t allowed to have interests and hobbies beyond the domestic duties.

    Plus, courtship puts girls and boys in different positions. The girls need to find someone who can support them financially forever, since they won’t be able to work themselves. That isn’t easy, especially if you’re in a community where higher education is distrusted. So by necessity, these girls are going to have to be picky. And what’s more, the nice, interesting guys who make good money won’t have a hard time finding a girl. Courtship requires jumping through a lot of hoops and kissing her father’s ass. Unless he’s already super interested in her (low odds, considering he wouldn’t have had many opportunities to interact with her) that’s an awful lot of trouble. There are plenty of ladies, even conservative Christian ones, who don’t require all that.

  • KarenH

    “… Other guys are backward, clumsy, going-nowhere types, and very uncool. …”

    This is such an unreasonable observation and indicative, imo, of how completely clueless the Pearls et al are about humanity itself.

    Of course there are children who appear to have been born knowing who they are and what they want to do with their lives. And that’s awesome. But for the rest of us–the majority of us, ime–we’re kind of stuck in adolescence trying to figure out what we’re going to do with our lives and how we’re going to make our adulthood meaningful.

    And at 16, 17, 18…even up to 20 or 21 years old? Most of us are backward, clumsy and appear to be ‘going-nowhere types’. For me, at that age, I joined the Army out of high school–mainly because I enlisted as a linguist, which was a study that I always loved in school, and because in reality, I had no idea what I would study in college and didn’t want to spend money in college if I didn’t have an semi-clear idea of what I wanted to do when I got there.

    My son? At 20? He was working 2 part time (30 hours each) fast food jobs and had just failed out of community college. I absolutely guarantee you that Shalom would have looked at him at that age and dismissed him as going nowhere.

    Well, he’s 33 now. Still no college degree, but he’s working full time at a 6 figure computer networking job. He’s married, with a lovely wife and a 3rd child expected in April. They have a cozy house and because my ex remarried, they have more in-laws than they know what to do with 🙂 But we all love them, they live within 15 miles of all three sets of grandparents, and their kids are funny, and kind and silly and yes, occasionally ill-mannered and grumpy. You know. Normal kids.

    And I know for a fact that both he AND his wife would immediately go back to working multiple fast food jobs before they ever fed their kids donated foot and cattle feed.

    And as my son’s stepmom reminded my ex and I both back in those fast-food going nowhere days, “No, he’s not building an empire, but he’s working and working REALLY hard. If he were going nowhere, with no work ethic, there’s no way he’d be working 2 fast food jobs. He might not know what his plan is now, but he’s a hard worker. If he can do this, he’ll be able to do anything.” And she was right 🙂

    It’s really unfair to look at young men and women of that age and dismiss them for all time, based on who and where they are then. Not everyone has a “calling”, and many of us who do, don’t get called until later in life.

  • KarenH

    Yeah, the shooting a bow, throwing a hatchet thing made me give a double take. I mean, he SAYS they should be working towards math and science, so if they want the boys to “learn the process of learning” I can’t think of any better way to do that AND complement the math/science thing than by learning a musical instrument.

    But of course, that’s not “He-Man-ly” enough for the wannabe that is Mikey Pearl.

  • Astrin Ymris

    Karen H,

    Yeah, but I’m assuming that your son wouldn’t meet the Dominionist definition of a True Christian™, so Shalom wouldn’t consider him as a potential mate for one of Michael Pearl’s grandaughters anyway.

    Which is actually a plus, because your son sounds like a great human being who doesn’t deserve to be saddled with Shalom as a mother-in-law. ;-D

  • KarenH

    Well, fair enough 🙂 But one of the things that John actively looked for in a girlfriend (let alone his wife) was that she be a good conversationalist and able to talk to people.

    One perfect example of this is one young woman he brought to meet me who I could not get a word out of, despite numerous attempts to begin a conversation. And John said the date ended up along the same line–he couldn’t get a word out of her.

    Apparently, she was quite surprised that he never called her again for a date; she’d been raised not to disagree with men, and me being an unmarried woman with a nearly grown son–well, what on earth could John have expected her to find in common with me? (yes, she asked him that. LOL

    But my son and DIL are openly atheist, so there too is another nail in the coffin. Just as well, I can’t imagine anyone that the Pearls and their clan might raise who could ever hold a candle to my DIL.

  • KarenH

    But having said all that other stuff, my point was more general. 🙂

    If a young woman is being raised to dismiss young men as “going nowhere” at that age, they already just ruled out a huge majority of the available “stock” right there. Young men who, with the passing of time, will become men who are admirable, ambitious and well worth having as a partner in life.

  • Astrin Ymris

    I can just imagine Michael Pearl reading of the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment, putting a Marshmallow in front of one of his grandkids and ordering him not to touch it for five minutes, (spanking him severely if he disobeys, of course), and repeating this as many times as necessary until the kid “passes”.

    After which Michael would write a self-congratulatory passage proclaiming this as “proof” according to Stanford University that kids raised by his methods are destined for high professional success. And you could never make him understand that the threat of punishment negated the entire point of the test.

    Especially if the child in question doesn’t particularly like marshmallows in the first place.

  • Nea

    Yeah, I was thinking that myself. He’d probably call all the kids who do like marshmallows to come into the room and go “yum, yum!” to extra-shame the kid who doesn’t want to eat them.

  • Astrin Ymris

    Oh, I get that– and I suppose it IS possible that Shalom is unfairly disparaging a lot of young men because of a soft labor market, or simply because 18 year olds can’t be expected to behave like 30-year-olds.

    But I still hold that at least part of the “immaturity” Shalom decries IS the poisoned fruit of the CPM way of childrearing.

  • Astrin Ymris

    Nah, he’d simply accept the fact being able to withstand the lure of marshmallows for five minutes validated his methods without considering trying the test with other types of treats. The test is called the Marshmallow Test, and thus marshmallows must be used– period. Remember, Michael dropped out of Bible college because he couldn’t cope with ambiguity.

    Besides, would Michael know enough about his kids or grandkids to know what their favorite foods are? His focus is drilling HIS beliefs into their brains, not finding out what their opinions are.

  • Evelyn

    I’m a woman, so this doesn’t really count, but truly, if I wanted the “skills” of a CPM girl, who follows instructions without complaining, cooks, cleans, never makes a peep? I would hire her. As a housekeeper. And when she was done, I would pay her fairly, thank her politely, and send her boring self home until next time.

  • Nea

    I’ve seen interviews with Walter Mischel. People keep offering him marshmallows and he hates them.

    I doubt Mikey’s grandkids get favorite foods when his own daughters aren’t allowed to decide what they want to eat at *all*.

  • KarenH

    Likely more than just a part 🙂

  • brbr2424

    Glass houses indeed. Aren’t the Pear daughters all married to men who are unable to financially support their families. The girls publish their drivel and sell herbs to support their families. One of them had the power cut off and now lives without electricity. For most couples, the power being cut off, is a wake up call to reorganize the priorities.

    I support guiding kids with an aptitude for the Stem fields gently in that direction. However, battling a kid who excels in the arts into a career path they have no desire or aptitude sounds like a recipe for disaster.

  • brbr2424

    I can see super attractive girls finally getting a guy willing to fight the dragon to get to her. This culture has objectified women so that the value of a woman hinges on not only whether she has had sex but how attractive she is.

    The story of Couty Alexander, who murdered his courtship wife, illustrates this mismatch between the male who gets to interact in the world and the female who doesn’t get that opportunity.

    Umstattd still sounds like a fundamentalist Christian but he did put his finger on the problem. Marriages start with two people having fun together. It can be good clean fun, or not, but there has to be fun. This courtship model skips that critical building block. Another feature from the generation of the 1950’s is that they tried to have two or three years together as a married couple before introducing children to the family. That’s another skipped developmental stage.

  • brbr2424

    The male brain isn’t even fully developed until age 25. This is the problem with trying to get people married off young.

  • Nea

    It’s Rebekah who has neither electricity nor running water. She’s an herbalist who claims that she’s cured liver disease with tea — more than that, her non-working husband decided that he was going to deliver all of their kids from now on, so there’s no actual medical care at all for them. It’s why I always refer to her as “Third World poor” because she lives well below even the level of working poverty for America.

    In true Pearl style, she claims to find it all uproarious fun to have “cookouts” and says she pities her detractors. In true Pearl style, the more she insists, the more it fails to pass my sniff test.

    I don’t think the Pearl boys are doing much better at providing. The website where one sold coffee has gone dark; his parents make a vague reference to him enjoying deer hunting, which I not-so-secretly suspect is the only food his family has coming in.

    But both the children and the father claim that the kids were all raised to be “successful.” That kind of “success” usually screams for an intervention!

  • Olivia

    This whole “where have all the REAL men gone?” Cliche is one of my least favorite parts of the fundamentalist culture. My mom was really big on it, which led to her abuse of her sons because it was so important to her that she raise some her vague idea of the perfect man. As for her daughters, no guy we brought home fit the bill. She openly ridiculed my eventual husband for wearing athletic shorts because it was such a “soft” thing for guys to do. Also, anything other than a crew cut or flat top was a sissy hair cut. It is all just a joke and for some reason G.A. Henty is always involved.

  • Jenny Islander

    “God has ordained certain roles for men and women that are such an unbreakable part of the matrix of our God-created natures that we must endlessly police every tiny detail of gender performance or else godless liberals will fornicate with tutu-wearing girlyboys in the streets and somebody will make me watch it.”

  • Which isn’t a BAD career choice, mind you. Rennies can be a VERY good group to get into. Yeah, it’s a lifestyle that has it’s good and bad points, but it’s no worse than any other group and a LOT healthier than some I might mention.

  • brbr2424

    The irony is that the Pearl children were probably not subject to the several times daily beatings that the children of their groupies were subject to. They were raised by a man with psychopathic tendencies and they were probably beaten often which quashes the natural desires to try new things, take risks and make mistakes. Qualities that are helpful in becoming successful.

  • Nea

    We know from Michael and Debi’s own writings that from infancy they were whipped for showing any attempt to explore or interact with their surroundings – and if they didn’t misbehave on Michael’s schedule, he’d make sure they got punished anyway (holding a child’s hands to a hot stove, pushing one of the girls into the pond and waiting for her to, in his own words, ‘start to drown’.)

    Michael’s insistence that children be whipped instantly at the time and scene of an infraction makes me think that the Pearl children were also given daily, doubtless hourly beatings for whatever reason worked out Michael’s ya-yas at the time. If they weren’t doing anything wrong, he’d get them anyway for not doing right cheerfully enough.

    Parents like that get someone who either heads for the hills, calling the cops along the way, or toes the party line but is a mess of a human being. Michael himself shows all the traits of the latter.

  • Nea

    It’s a hardscrabble life if that’s all you do. But The Danger Committee – a juggling, fire, and knife-throwing act – comes through here. In that case, there’s darn good reason to learn to throw knives; it makes their act stand out in a crowded world of jugglers.

    But throwing just for distance throwing, like Michael does? As far as I can tell, he’s getting a twofer of “look how long I am” and “I’m insanely dangerous a human being” without any other material benefit like a road act or enhanced employability.

  • Leigh Andrews

    I believe that the children got to pick a treat in the original experiment.

    A more interesting version of this is recounted in “Willpower” by Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney. People who are exposed to the smell of baking cookies and are told that they can’t have any have a harder time resisting other temptations in a subsequent test.

  • Leigh Andrews

    When do the arranged marriages start as a matter of policy?

  • BlueVibe

    I’m cool with hatchet-throwing, but maybe not as a major hobby or alleged “life skill”. I have plenty of hobbies myself, but I don’t pretend they’re important in the grand scheme of things, or that they’re necessarily serious intellectual pursuits.

  • Linda

    what is CPM? cost per mile; college preparatory math; counts per minute; cost per mailing. Went to wiki and got lots more but none that fit the context of this conversation. Thanks.

  • Astrin Ymris

    The also got to choose for themselves whether to have one treat immediately or to wait 15 minutes and get two treats.

    Michael would never be able to grasp that it was act of choosing to defer immediate gratification for the sake of a larger payoff down the line– rather doing what you’re told under threat of pain– which makes the difference.

    Interestingly, later studies indicate that the children’s faith in the testers’ integrity made a difference in how likely they were to hold out for the greater reward.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_marshmallow_experiment

  • Astrin Ymris

    Christian Patriarchy Movement.

  • Nea

    A lot of my hobbies have taught me life skills, but to a major part that’s because my hobbies involved doing something I love and want to learn more about rather then prove the strength of my gender identity.

  • ConcepcionImmaculadaPantalones

    Last year! You may not have received that memo, to correct this, please contact your local CPM community charity agency!

    (The joke is…WHAT CPM bothers with community charity!)

  • Mary

    Upvote for the Danger Committee shout out. They’re awesome. And funny! Stand-up, juggling, and death-defying knife stunts all in one act.

  • Leigh Andrews

    I’ve said for a long time that many men, CPM or not, would benefit from hiring hookers and housekeepers rather than getting married.

    The “good catches” will have their pick regardless.

  • Patty

    My dad used to work with a knife-thrower who spent 6 months in the summer working in a circus and 6 months in the winter working in a boring office job.

  • Friend

    What a great resume!

    In the 1890s, a young man in my family ran away to join Barnum’s circus as a trapeze artist. He later worked as a roofer, and so did all of his sons.

  • Quadratic Wizard

    Hm….doesn’t leave much room for men with disabilities………….or anyone vaguely interesting, come to think of it.

    It also suggests that they want the humanities to pretty much shrivel and die, since they leave no one available to study them, what with woman in the kitchen and men pumping iron.