Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – I Don’t Like Him Anymore

Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – I Don’t Like Him Anymore March 28, 2015

AnsweringAnother installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical, rational and the best possible solution, in other words 180 degree turn from Nancy and friends answers.As always all spelling and grammar in the posting is unchanged from the original author.

Okay, on to today’s question:

Topic: How do I let him know I don’t like him anymore?

Hi!  I’ll try to word this so it makes sense.

I have been friends with this one guy since we were really little, and I think we always liked each other. We told each other once when we were little that we liked each other, but we never held hands or hugged or anything-just focused on being friends. Now that we are older (we are both almost 17), getting closer towards the age where people start getting more serious, it’s a little bit different now. I think he is starting to like me in a more serious way, and not just a crush. We no longer live near each other anymore, so we don’t really communicate much.

The only problem is…since we’ve been apart (almost a year now), I have realized that I don’t really like him anymore. Now I just think of him more as a brother. He is a really steady man, and I’m sort of a mix between a dreamer and a go-to gal.  He is more of a careful guy, and likes to take life slowly, and is content with just staying put. I have come to realize that I would never really be content living that type of lifestyle, and might even find it difficult to submit to him in some ways. I haven’t seen him for almost a year now, so I haven’t really been able to talk to him. I’m really good friends with his sister, and she is aware of the fact that I don’t like him anymore, but I’m not sure how to tell him. I know it would probably rock his world a little bit, but I also do not want to be unintentionally leading him on. He is also currently saving up to come visit me in the future.

Does anyone have any advice for me? I feel really bad about the whole thing, and I’ve talked to my parents and friends, and they aren’t exactly sure what to do about it either.

Perfect example of simple things made all too complex in evangelical Christianity. The advice this girl was given is to either get his sister to tell him she no longer likes him in that way or to write him a letter. Is this really the best advice for this situation?

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