by Mel cross posted from her blog When Cows and Kids Collide
Preparing to Be a Help Meet – The Wedding: Part Four
Debi starts asking questions about when Yetta and Kent were dating. Debi tries really hard to make Yetta fit Debi’s mold…but she just can’t quite do it.
Q: Do you remember the first time you felt you and Kent might become a couple?
A: Over time I saw he was really genuine. Like I said, after music practice he would often stand at my truck and talk. As my respect grew, I knew I was seeing him as the man he was …the kind of man I wanted. He was slowly winning my affection.
Q: Everyone knew you and Kent were friends. What rocked the boat into the love boat?
A: Well, one night his sister invited me to eat dinner with her family, and Kent was there. After dinner he walked me to my truck. While we stood at my truck, he told me straight out that he wanted to be more than friends. We were both adults; there was never a boy-likes-girl crush thing. We both knew that when he said “more than friends” he meant we were considering our future together. He had already run my respect and admiration. I gladly said yes.
“What rocked the boat into the love boat?” What a silly question, Debi. Did you expect Yetta to reply “Why, a tsunami of passion!”
Yetta and Kent are adults who became friends, then lovers. They have a wonderful story based on mutual respect and love. I wish this kind of relationship for all the young ladies who read Debi’s books rather than the Pearl crazy.
Q: After that you were a couple, people knew. How did everyone react?
A: Everyone was really happy for us.
Q:Would a negative reaction from family or close friends have made a difference?
A: Yes. If someone we loved and respected had questioned either one of us, we would have listened and considered. We both have seen many couples make bad decisions and live to regret it. We wanted to do it right.
This is my favorite part so far. Yetta and Kent would thoughtfully considered any objection by others, but they would make the final decision.
Plus, neither Yetta nor Kent’s parents (or brothers) have made an appearance in terms of being involved with their relationship.
Q: So you went places together and were known as a couple for several months. Why wait so long?
Because going places and being known as a couple is normal for Americans….
A: We both were cautious, knowing that this was the rest of our lives, and we wanted to talk out everything before we married. All our convictions, all our family ideas, all our little whatevers were addressed. There would be no surprises to mar our marriage. It takes time. We didn’t beat around the bush about anything. He knew exactly what I thought about every major issue, and I knew what he wanted. We agreed on issues ahead of time.
I’m very glad that they discussed potential issues ahead of time.
I hope they don’t have any major surprises between them – but life often brings surprises and you learn much more about your spouse and yourself during the marriage.
[Side note from the Kingly Man: I’m not sure what “wait so long” means here. Several months isn’t very long by most people’s standards. This seems to be implying that couples should get married really fast. I’m not a proponent of long, drawn-out relationships, but not everyone is going to feel comfortable being proposed to after dating for only a few months.]
I agree with the Kingly Man. (I feel strange writing that, but it is true.) Yeah, some folks have a good marriage after a very short time dating but most people want to know someone for longer than one season before marrying them.
Q: So when did he pop the question?
A: It wasn’t like that for us. Love came softly, so we both knew it was right. We just set the date.
I like Yetta and Kent. I hope they have a long and happy marriage.
AntiPearl: The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.
Preparing To Be A Help Meet Review
Mel is a science teacher who works with at-risk teens and lives on a dairy farm with her husband. She’s a wise fount of knowledge about things involving living with a farmer and farming. She blogs at When Cows and Kids Collide