by Anna from House To Home and as quoted at Ladies Against Feminism – Kids Aren’t Expensive But Greed Is
Editor’s note: LAF again are obsessed with people having too many things. While over the top materialism is just so off-putting, I can honestly say I know no one that wanted children who put off child-bearing for things. As to the other thing, that having kids isn’t expensive, it isn’t expensive in the world of Quiverfull because of home births, no childhood vaccinations or doctors visits, only buy used, school expenses, decent food and other things most of us consider essential to raising healthy, happy, well-adjusted, productive members of society. With LAF it’s all or nothing, with no middle ground, that same middle ground most of us chose to live our lives in. Yes, kids do not have to be raised wearing designer clothes, but at the same time they don’t have to be raised wearing the stuff even the thrift stores reject. There is a middle way.
[Editor’s note: Your kids don’t even know who the Jones family is but unmistakably they’ll be dazzled by all the things they see around them, all the activities they see others doing and it’s easy to let them pull on our heart strings. Couple that with what we E see in other families and what appears to be a different economic level than us and we start to believe it’s true, raising kids ‘right’ without cutting corners is impossibly expensive. When we measure ourselves by ourselves, we not only find we will always fall short of someone else but we’ll fall into the trap of setting goals and pursuing ambitions that may have nothing to do with our own families and God’s particular calling for us. We’re also essentially defining ourselves by man and man’s ever changing culturally influenced standard of success rather than God’s standard for mankind. In a success driven culture it’s important to remember that we’re called to be primarily faithful and in so much that the Lord blesses our faithfulness with prosperity to work His own ends we’ll enjoy it.
The author rightly points out that children will seem expensive if we have a material view of life. Materialism will set us at odds with our children and child bearing. Children become an accessory and our material lives are the show case. But children are not pets. Having children will cut into our own materialistic desires and while some remedy the frustration by not having children, we’ve found that some of the happiest, self-less, well rounded, culturally influential and highly educated kids come from having a focus on God and his kingdom. A supernatural god’s design and intents for man is much better than a superhero or a super-exaggerated, hyper-inflated lifestyle.
Consequently, it doesn’t take money to be materialistic. It just takes an unchecked sin nature and an earthly self-glorifying ambition.]
My husband and I have always wanted a lot of kids. (Of course, “a lot” is a relative term, depending what your social circles look like, but for the purpose of this post, we’re going to call “a lot” more than 3. Ha.) Over the last 6 years, when we’ve made our feelings known, we’ve often been met with one particular phrase: Kids are so expensive!!
Well, on the one hand, I suppose they are. Depending on your particular situation – medical bills, dental care, school tuition, etc. all definitely add up. So I’m not trying to be flippant with what I’m about to say, but I do think it’s an important distinction to be made when one is saying how “expensive” children are.
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