Quoting Quiverfull: Making Women Bitter About Submitting?

Quoting Quiverfull: Making Women Bitter About Submitting? March 23, 2015

quotingquiverfullby Paul Washer from I’ll Be Honest.com – Recovering Biblical Womanhood

Editor’s note: At least the clearly CPM author seems to understand that how the man behaves affects the wife’s ability to submit. But it is still a poisonous idea, the whole idea that one is dominant and the other submissive, it creates and drives a lot of misery for everyone involved.

Let’s say that there is a woman who looks at the biblical command of a woman submitting to her husband. And then she looks over at her husband. He’s a guy who works all the time. But he works all the time, not necessarily to provide for his family. He works all the time and then he’s with his buddies and then he’s getting all kinds of things for his hobbies, and he’s all about what he likes to do. And in doing all the things he likes to do with all his buddies, he’s basically neglecting his wife and his children.

And a woman looks over at that and says to herself, “I’ve got to submit to that? To a selfish boy, who basically lives for himself?” That can really make a woman bitter.

Now, but if a woman looks over and sees a man, and imprinted upon his face is, “Hallowed be Thy Name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done.” She can look at him and she can still become embittered. Why? Because he can say that and basically say the same thing. “I’ve got to neglect you and our children because I’m all about the Kingdom of Heaven”.

How many pastor’s wives have become embittered because the husband has sacrificed his family for Jesus sake? Okay. And that’s amazing because Romans 12: 2 says that the will of God is perfect, and what it means is this: you don’t have to disobey some of God’s commands in order to obey the other ones. So, you don’t have to disobey what God commanded you to do in regards to your wife and children in order to obey Him in what He commanded you to do in the ministry.

But if a woman looks over and sees a man, and the man is “Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, hallowed be Thy Name.” and he begins to live that out within his closest relationships, that he strives that “the Kingdom come” in his wife in fullness of joy and he strives that the Kingdom come into his children, and the woman sees that he sacrifices friends, hobbies, everything else for the sake of blessing his family, then a woman looks at a man like that and goes, with a twinkle in her eye, “Yea, yea I can follow a guy like that, who is selflessly giving himself away to his family. Sure.”

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

13:24 – A Story of Faith and Obsession by M Dolon Hickmon

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Nea

    And on his face is written WHAT? That’s a helluva tattoo.

    Ya know what makes women want to be with a man? Knowing that she’s his friend and partner and that they’re in this marriage together. That the bond will strengthen who they are, not pigeonhole them into rigid roles.

  • Astrin Ymris

    Translation: Guys, you’ve got to put in a little more PR time on the homefront. Despite our sockpuppets’ best efforts, wives are twigging that CPM is all about boosting male privilege and defecting in droves. Give her some more strokes, okay? At least until we have overturned Net Neutrality and passed TPP. Then we can have our corporate partners impede access to websites which challenge our ideology, after which we can drop the act.

  • ShaLaLa

    Know what puts a twinkle in *my* eye? Looking over at my partner and thinking about the egalitarian life and relationship we share. The life where neither of us has to sacrifice friends and hobbies, because we are both also deeply invested in the friendship we share, and the hobbies we share, and the life we share. And it all just sort of falls into place naturally because both of us care for our own needs while also caring for those of the other.

    And all of that is a heck of a lot easier to do when our relationship is structured around our individual selves and the dynamic that follows in our relationship, rather than around some highly specific and gendered idea of what our relationship is “supposed” to look like.

  • Jenny Islander

    Whenever I read stuff like this, I think of a couple I used to know. It was a first marriage. She was anxious to be a good wife. A good wife, she knew, makes sure that her husband has a hearty, nourishing breakfast every morning. So every morning she would get up even earlier than he did–and he had the early shift at the post office–to fix a big farmhouse-style breakfast from scratch. And every morning he would eat it silently and leave.

    He was anxious to be a good husband, the kind who does not disturb his wife in her domain, the home. It took six months for him to overcome his anxiety about making his little wife cry in order to explain that a lot of food in the morning made him bilious and tired, and he would much rather just fix himself a bowl of cereal.

    It took about a year and a half, IIRC, for the two of them to realize that they had married because they wanted to be a good wife and good husband, respectively, and needed another person to use their checklists on. They are now divorced.

  • SAO

    I don’t want my husband to “selflessly give himself up to his family,” because “selflessly” implies spending time with his wife and kids is a chore and left to follow his own preference, he’d be somewhere else. I want (and have) a husband who is a good family man because he loves us and WANTS to spend time with us.

  • Olivia

    When I see this I can’t help but think he is ignoring the usual progression of the standard CPM relationship. Woman treats husband like he is god, he becomes accustomed to the treatment and quickly decides it is his natural entitlement because he is a god, and soon his behavior becomes increasingly more condescending and tyrannical, he has fewer and fewer expectations of himself as he has more and more for his wife, she believes this is all as it should be while becoming increasingly more embittered because giving of yourself until there is nothing left to an ungrateful brat (no matter how much time he spends with the family) is enough to burn anyone out.

  • Baby_Raptor

    And that’s amazing because Romans 12: 2 says that the will of God is perfect

    That’s pretty poisonous as well.

  • Clearly the problem is that the woman isn’t submitting enough to begin with. If she followed good, solid QF advice, and always smiled, never said a bitter word, and served her husband/children/church/God cheerfully-she would be the light of her husband’s life.
    So you see? It’s not a problem about trying to submit to a man that may be negligent; the real problem is how this wife’s behaviour is pushing her husband away.

  • I want to be honest here. Am I having a problem with my reading and comprehension, or do these godly individuals not make sense? I’m reaching the point where I swear what they’re writing is nothing more than verbal vomit.

  • ShinyZubat

    “Yea, yea, verily good sir!”

    (The word he was looking for was “yeah”. Sorry, it’s my pet peeve!)

    Not even getting into how gross the rest of it was.

  • Besides the divorce, holy hell. Were you looking in my windows a few years back? :/

  • You should know better to eat while reading this stuff!