by S.J. Reidhead cross posted from her blog The Pink Flamingo
The Anger Buster Rap
by Barbara Gruener
When anger chooses me,
here’s an important fact:
I always get to choose
exactly how I’ll react.
I don’t need to fight or
shout, pout and cry;
I have some healthy strategies
for management I try.
I write or draw or count to ten,
I talk it out or go outside to play.
I take deep breaths or exercise
until my anger goes away.
So when anger chooses you,
and it will, that’s a fact!
Why not try my healthy ways
to help you react.
Anger is not a sin. Neither is having a temper tantrum. There are times when we need to be angry, and there are times when we need to vent our anger, and express ourselves. The object is to learn some grown-up self-control, and know when to open your big fat mouth and when to keep your big fat mouth shut. Something though, has happened in our culture, where anger is now a sin. It is to be avoided. It is, according to sexual deviant and pervert, Bill Gothard, the primary reason marriages fail and children become delinquent. Gothard, over the years, has brainwashed millions of followers into believing that anger is a sin. Nothing can be farther from the truth. Jesuit Father William J. Byron, SJ. a research professor at Sellinger School of Business at Loyola College in Maryland, wrote:
“...So what about us? We all know anger from personal experience. Some study the phenomenon and come to understand its psychological underpinnings and emotional dimensions. All should understand, but many refuse to accept the fact that anger, in just the right amount, is a normal, even healthy response to reality. The challenge, of course, is in keeping anger down to just the right amount.
If anger moves outside the range of normal, it can be sinful and potentially destructive. Anger can be with self. When driven deeply inward, anger can turn into depression. When turned outward toward others anger can lead to violence, even to destruction of property and persons.
Anger must, therefore, be managed, and one way of managing it is to accept it as a reminder that you are alive and well, but at risk of doing harm to yourself, or others, or both. Knowing that you are in harm’s way, you become cautious. In the old days, traffic engineers referred to the yellow or amber light between red and green on a traffic signal as the caution light. Slow down; move cautiously. And so it is with anger. Be slow to anger. Let the emotion blink you down to a slower speed.
Out-of-control anger can be nothing but harmful to yourself and others. The fact of the matter is that anger can kill. Sure, you can punch the wall and claim that it makes you feel better, but all that does is move you a few notches closer to hurting yourself or someone you love. You can use those angry feelings as an excuse not to repair relationships at home or at work. You can substitute rage and revenge for your rightful participation in the human construction project that strengthens human community through applications of compassion and understanding.
No one’s perfect. But neither is anyone exempt from the duty of holding himself or herself in hand when emotions rise to threaten the peace in human relationships. Not to do so is to encourage the assault of anger on all that is good, and decent. So admit that anger can be sinful, and don’t let yourself off the hook too easily when your patience wanes and emotions of anger rise. On the other hand, don’t confess ordinary testiness as anger just to have something to say when you participate in the sacrament of reconciliation. Take those moments of self-examination and repentance as a good time to reflect on the need for anger management and your ability to hold yourself in hand…”
Unfortunately, minions of the far right, patriarchy, now teach that anger is a deadly sin. A godly man, you might want to note how the nagging wife can kill her husband.
No, temper is not a sin.
I don’t know about you, but I am very well familiar with the Ten Big Ones.
I am the LORD thy God
Thou shalt have no other gods
No graven images or likenesses
Not take the LORD’s name in vain
Remember the sabbath day
Honour thy father and thy mother
Thou shalt not kill
Thou shalt not commit adultery
Thou shalt not steal
Thou shalt not bear false witness
Thou shalt not covet
Nowhere on this list do I see thou shalt not have a temper tantrum, nor do I see thou shalt not be angry. Interestingly enough, Bill Gothard sees anger as part of the sin of blasphemy.
That is what Gothard said. Now, try reading what is in the Bible. It’s a hell of a lot different. Colossians 3
1So if you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.
2Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth,
3for you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
4When Christ who is your life is revealed, then you also will be revealed with him in glory.
5 Put to death, therefore, whatever in you is earthly: fornication, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed (which is idolatry).
6On account of these the wrath of God is coming on those who are disobedient.
7These are the ways you also once followed, when you were living that life.
8But now you must get rid of all such things—anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive language from your mouth.
9Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have stripped off the old self with its practices
10and have clothed yourselves with the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge according to the image of its creator.
11In that renewal there is no longer Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave and free; but Christ is all and in all!
Once again, it proves to me that Bill Gothard and I don’t have the same Bible, no matter what the translation. I use NRSV. From what Gothard has written, he would condemn even Christ, in his anger at the temple. In fact, in order to facilitate Gothard, the fast majority of so-called godly leaders, teachers, etc. consider anger to be something wrong. It has become politically incorrect. It is now a sin of epic proportions. If you delve into his leadership principles, on character, you will find that anger is a no-no. The brainwashing principles of character extend to many of the Fortune 500 companies, the military, a vast majority of law enforcement in this country, and so forth and so on. It is the single most important reason we are having such a problem with out of control cops. They must have total obedience. Our culture has been brain-washed to demand self-control, and cannot allow anger. Taking it farther, within religious ranks, those who follow Gothard, see anger as a sin.
Anger – “When Sophia Gets Angry-Really-Really Angry – Lesson plan;
Anger Management Strategies – strategies to help students deal with anger A lesson plan can be found at this site
Controlling Anger – These activities go along with a video that can be bought at the site, but they can also be used as a stand-alone activity. – K-5 grades
Get Your Angries Out! – Color sheet with tips on how to control anger
A resource for the teacher to use in planning their lessons Helping Young Children Deal with Anger – article with suggestions and ideas.
Monkey Has a Problem – Whole Class activity to learn anger management. Many activities to select and discuss. Click on the characters to see how they behave.- Primary grades This site is interactive and allows students to play a game or input or collect data
Rules for Fighting Fair – Color sheet with tips on dealing with anger
Time To Cool Down – Color sheet with tips on dealing with anger. Story to go along with handout. DinoPals – Time to Cool Down
Middle/ High School:
Anger – Q and A about anger and how to deal with it.
A resource for the teacher to use in planning their lessons Anger Management for Kids – Helpful suggestions and video to watch A video is available through this link
A resource for the teacher to use in planning their lessons Anger Management for Teens – 12 Calm Down and Get a Grip Anger Management Tips for Teens
Dealing with Anger – The Fire Inside – ” When we get to know our anger –- what causes it, how we react to it –- and then learn how to manage it, it’s a chance to get to know ourselves a little better and improve our relationships with other people”
What are the sources of Adolescent Anger? – article dealing with adolescent anger An Adobe Acrobat document in .pdf format
Managing Anger – lesson plan is designed to teach anger management and conflict resolution through the “I-Message” communication technique and other group activities. High School (use the Realplayer videos; they are separated into the categories of discussion.) A lesson plan can be found at this site
Youth Violence Prevention – articles, fact sheets, and a report on a comprehensive review of violence on a global scale…”
The religious right now considers anger a sin – because Bill Gothard told them so. They don’t need the Bible. They don’t need to read what sin is, but just do what they’re told. It is so prevalent now, that anger has been turned into a disorder. From the American Psychological Association:
Now, look to see what hospitals are pushing – for money:
Rage is now a personality disorder. Anger, as a disorder is being promoted by groups who want money. They are even going to medicate it out of people.
In fact, one treatment company is promoting hard-core medication to handle NORMAL anger. They even have different kinds of anger. Teens and family members can even be locked up for up to 8 weeks because they are angry.
- Chronic anger, which is prolonged, can impact the immune system and be the cause of other mental disorders
- Passive anger, which doesn’t always come across as anger and can be difficult to identify
- Overwhelmed anger, which is caused by life demands that are too much for an individual to cope with
- Self-inflicted anger, which is directed toward the self and may be caused by feelings of guilt
- Judgmental anger, which is directed toward others and may come with feelings of resentment
- Volatile anger, which involves sometimes-spontaneous bouts of excessive or violent anger
Yep, now being pissed is a full blown disorder. If you’re a pissed-off kid, your parents can have you locked up for a couple months and pumped full of Prozac – as long as the insurance money is there. The problem is, anger is not a disorder, and it is not a sin. People have a right to be pissed, to have a temper tantrum, and tell someone off, once in awhile. The treatment profession is using it as a way to squeeze money from insurance. The far right is using it as a way to control and manipulate. There’s a very good reason for this. The godly disciples of Bill Gothard view anger, rebellion, or even discussing the problems of a church or a godly leader to be a sin.
It’s that simple. Character Counts, which has been exploited to the point where corporate officials now use it as a form of herd control, will not allow anger. If there is anger, there might be rebellion. If there is rebellion, then they can’t manipulate. If they can’t manipulate, people might have the courage to step up and say what they really are. Ergo, if you give some jerk a fat lip, you need psychological help, medication, anger management, and a few weeks stay in some nice clinic to be brainwashed into being yet another civilized drone.
There is zero tolerance, no forgiveness, and no deviation. Resistance is futile. Welcome to the world of the character-free Borg. Oh, and don’t think this is just a conservative problem? In the liberal, politically correct world, anger is allowed only in certain circumstances and by certain individuals. All others must, like the conservative world, be good little drones.
SJ Reidhead blogs at The Pink Flamingo She is a lover and student of fashion, opera buff and author of two novels. SJ is also a leading expert in life of Wyatt Earp and Tombstone Arizona history as well as an ardent admirer of cowboy culture. She lives in New Mexico.