Not Quoting Quiverfull: Parenting Them To a ‘Blessing’?

Not Quoting Quiverfull: Parenting Them To a ‘Blessing’? April 12, 2015

Notquotingby Tim Fall from Tim’s Blog – Mark Driscoll Gives Almost Good Parenting Advice – a lesson in sloppy tweeting

“You’re [sic] little kids may not feel like a blessing right now. That’s okay. Parent them in such a way that they become a blessing.”(A tweet from Mark Driscoll.)

You see, he didn’t say “Parent them in such a way that you are faithful to the task God has given you as their parents.” He said “Parent them in such a way that they become a blessing.” In saying so, he places a huge burden of unreasonable expectations on those parents, the unspoken expectations that go like this:

If your children do not grow up to be blessings, you did something wrong. You didn’t parent them in such a way that they became a blessing. You knew they weren’t blessings when they were young and now that they’re older they still aren’t blessings. You failed.”

Thankfully Mark Driscoll is no longer pastoring or involved with telling others how to parent now.

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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

13:24 – A Story of Faith and Obsession by M Dolon Hickmon

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • I guess it’s all in your definition of “blessing”. Like that quote “Some people brighten a room when they enter it; others when they leave it.”


  • Edie Moore McGee

    I didn’t get the negative vibe the poster found in Driscoll’s tweet. I saw “parenting to raise a blessing” as aspirational and not as a command.

  • Baby_Raptor

    The negative is in the fact that you’re not raising your kids to be successful adults at whatever they want to do or be themselves. You’re raising them to where they end up being little molds of you.

  • Edie Moore McGee

    I don’t read it that way at all. I hope my own daughter will be a blessing to the world. I suppose in QF/CPM-speak, what comprises a blessing is more narrowly defined than my own definition would be. All I mean by saying that I want her to be a blessing is that I hope she’s a force for good and her contribution to the world is a constructive one. It’s not up to me to say what that looks like for her, and at the end of the day, if she doesn’t become a force for the good, it’s not my failure. I will have given it my best shot.

  • Baby_Raptor

    You have the right view. The person talking doesn’t and he has a LOT of followers. That’s why it’s dangerous.

  • Joy

    Lol, I’ve never heard that quote before. Quite appropriate for some folks!

  • What is it with this blessing thing? I’m so confused, I had to go look the word up, to see what I’ve been missing all these years. Golly, who knew, I had it right all the time. It is not something taken lightly, rather the asking for God’s grace on someone, or saying thanks to God, this sort of thing. I guess, if one is like Nancy Campbell, and thinks she is God’s Gift, that explains it all. Same thing with Mark Driscoll.

  • Baby_Raptor

    For these people “blessing” seems to mean “please me”

  • SAO

    In my view, kids are blessings when they are kind, loving, and considerate, with, as they get older a hefty dose of independent. That’s what I raise my kids to be and I’m happy with the results.

    I do think you have to understand the natural stages of development, though. Teens are self-absorbed and toddlers tantrum. Normal behavior for the stage they are going through doesn’t mean that they aren’t loving and considerate or developing the maturity to show it.

  • Tim

    Thanks for sharing that excerpt from my post. I see that a few commenters are wondering about my take on Mr. Driscoll’s original tweet. The rest of my post goes on to explain more:

  • I suspect you are correct.

  • teaisbetterthanthis

    Unfortunately Driscoll’s trying for a comeback: