by Debi Pearl from No Greater Joy – Need a Spouse…ANYONE?
Editor’s note: So now Debi’s adding another layer that a potential spouse for a daughter must go through, the brothers. In one breath she decries the ‘current complicated courtship hoops’ that young men must go through to get to know a young woman and in the next breath adds this new complication of brothers. Why is it that things which are uncomplicated, simple and natural out in the world of unsaved heathens take on a convoluted crazy form in Evangelical Quiverfull? It’s exhausting just thinking about it.
Most young men would like some time to get to know the girls without being put through the wringer immediately and without making a commitment to the father before they are sure they even like the girl. Due to the current conservative, complicated courtship hoops through which young men are expected to jump in order to get a sweetie, many homeschooled young men are opting out. They are finding their spouses outside the “courtship pool,” leaving a lot of young girls unsought after and twiddling their thumbs at home, waiting for someone who is off fishing in easier waters.
I guess the moral to this tale is—Brothers, do your duty! If you have older unmarried sisters…shame on you. Get out and meet some men who might be a proper match for your sisters. Invite them home, plan a big feed. Talk to your sisters. Talk PLAIN, bold and direct with them. Tell them what each guy likes and dislikes, his dreams and his ambitions, his taste in food and styles. Talk to your guy friends. Say something like this, “Hey, you looking for a bride? I got four sisters and would consider it a privilege for you to drop in and take your pick. My parents trust my judgment and I’m giving you high marks. Of course, my sisters are picky, and they have the last word, but I’ll throw in a good word for you with them, too. Now, the oldest sister is kinda bossy, but she always gives in after a little persuasion. She’s the smartest. So if you think you would enjoy a little challenge but get a good mate for the extra effort…she’s your gal. My next sister is not so cute, but she is the nicest of the bunch. Whoever gets her will do well, because she already makes a pile of money in her business. Then, maybe you like loud mouths. My third sister is for sure, but she can make everybody laugh. She is the life of the party. I have to admit, I like taking her with me when I travel because she gets to know everyone so easy. You’re kinda quiet, so she might be the best for you. My youngest sister is still too young for marriage, so just forget about her unless you want to go on her list of possible guys for when she gets a little older. If you’re interested in her, I can e-mail you in three or four years. So how about it…wanta check out the fam? I got four other guys coming Sunday for brunch, so you better hurry if you want the pick of the litter.”
QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.