Quoting Quiverfull: Women Need Micro-Managing From Their Husbands?

Quoting Quiverfull: Women Need Micro-Managing From Their Husbands? April 3, 2015

quotingquiverfullby Cane Caldo from Things that We have Heard and Known – Cold Service is the Revenge Dish of Vanity

Editor’s note: Remember that disgraceful guy who had all the photos of scantly clad teenagers at his site Is This Modest? Minthegap / Adam Gregorian? If you recall he had a pile of Mens Rights buddies we quoted, some of whom have done like Gregorian did to his almost porn Modesty site and pulled down their blogs after being confronted. Here’s some of the most disgusting misogyny from a man in the church we’ve seen in a long time. He makes Michael Pearl seem gentle. Trigger warning if you go to his blog, this posting is all about denigrating a woman in distress who is trying to work through it. What Gregorian and Caldo have in common is that they are both good friends of known internet misogynist Dalrock. The most frightening thing about both Gregorian and Caldo is that they use the Bible to justify their hatred of women.

Probably projection mixed with some poorly-executed criticism from the husband. Women’s expectations have become so over-inflated that they have a hard time realizing that housework and homeschooling are honest and rewarding hard work for women. All signals are that she stinks at it, and mostly quits when (surprise, surprise!) her kids give her the same poor attitude and begrudging service she gives her husband. I’d bet dollars against doughnuts on that. Then he comes home and sighs or yells “What have you been doing all day? What is so hard? etc.” He’s saying that because he doesn’t want to do what he needs to do; which is step up the micro-managment. Men hate it, but this woman needs it. He ought to be performing surprise inspections in the middle of the day, or use his vacation days to spring a surprise day home with the family while he watched how they operate and correct them. Women are to be honored as the weaker vessel. Often that means recognizing that jobs husbands find simple are surprisingly difficult for wives. Sometimes you gotta lead the donkey along the way, and sometimes you gotta pull the donkey around.

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • $15190794

    Anyone who refers to his wife as a donkey is an ass.

  • Jessica Lynne Roulston

    If my boss showed up in my classroom and micro managed me I’d quit!
    What strikes me as interesting is that the tone of his post suggests that homeschooling and being a stay at home parent would be easy for a man, so he should teach his wife to do something he has NO experience in!

  • Jessica Lynne Roulston

    Having read the post, it scares me! The woman who’s letter he is responding to is legitimately scared and depressed, and he blames every single thing on her. “You don’t like to be yelled at, then don’t do the wrong thing!” kind of stuff.
    The mans only fault is that he has not taken her firmly in hand and MADE her do what he wants.

  • $15190794

    Anyone else think of the story, “The Husband who was to Mind the House”?

  • Baby_Raptor

    Women’s expectations have become so over-inflated that they have a hard time realizing that housework and homeschooling are honest and rewarding hard work for women.

    Expecting to bee able to run one’s own life and decide what they find “honest” and “rewarding” work-wise is over-inflated expectations. Could these people be any clearer in their hate for females?

    Women are to be honored as the weaker vessel. Often that means recognizing that jobs husbands find simple are surprisingly difficult for wives. Sometimes you gotta lead the donkey along the way, and sometimes you gotta pull the donkey around.

    Do you get it now, Quiverfull women? You aren’t a person. You aren’t allowed to exist in and of yourself. You’re an animal that needs to be bossed around the way one babysits an infant.

  • Nea

    I read part of the original post. What that poor woman needs is therapy by the gallon and an armed cop protecting her as she packs up her stuff and the kids’ stuff as she leaves.

  • Nea

    Actually, I’m thinking of The Yellow Wallpaper, where it was considered so very, very necessary for her mental health to have zero agency that she ended up having a psychotic break.

  • Nea

    Real experience in something you order someone else to do must be avoided at all costs. Because if you actually know what you’re talking about, you know that it inevitably isn’t as easy as you think it is.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    I smell a rat, a big male rat. Why would any woman ever write this woman-hating he man for advice. There’s part of me that really really really wants to believe that this misogynist wrote the letter just so he could ‘debunk’ it ala Michael and Debi Pearl.

  • Nea

    I don’t think she wrote to him. It sounds like this guy got ahold of something she thought was private between her and her husband for the LOLZ of making an unhappy woman even more miserable.

  • Evelyn

    Most of the irl men like this of my acquaintance, would not have half a clue how to micromanage a woman and magically get everything done that she couldn’t. I mean, they could point and bark orders (“Clean this kitchen!”), but they would truly have no idea how to break it down into steps and actually make it happen. I had to take over finances from my ex because he could not manage them, and it would not have been a kind thing to anyone in the family to let bills go unpaid. It had nothing to do with control, and everything to do with keeping the damn lights on. This guy is a first class asshole.

  • Evelyn

    The letter *is* scary–super obvious abuse going on, and all he can do is gaslight. Wow.

  • He damn well better be careful… sometimes lighting gas gets you one HELL of an explosion.

  • *salute*

  • pinkie

    Where she mows the field and returns to find her house in chaos, her husband unable to cope with everything that had to be done?

  • Jenny Islander

    It’s like Smaug-level mansplaining.

  • Brilliant! *still laughing*

  • Most patriarchalist writers aren’t so blatant with their misogyny. This one actively admits that he just thinks we’re subhuman. Well, at least his cards are on the table, so that we can easily trump them.

  • $15190794

    Yes. He’s dangling by one leg up the chimney (because the cow fell off the roof) while the baby paddles around in spilled pottage.

  • SAO

    This guy is why divorce was invented.

  • Have you ever read any of the things ‘men’ like this write? I spent an evening about a year ago doing just that. They basically hate women because they can’t get a date. Go figure. Their hatred of women is all-consuming. Patriarchy is a good fit for them.

  • CrazyDogLady

    Wow, this seems to be in a different league from the usual complementarian or even patriarchal preaching. I don’t know anything about this guy – is he really a preacher or church-affiliated person? (This is mostly a rhetorical question; I can do my own homework later and look him up after the Easter weekend is over.) most pastors and preachers, even those whom I disagree with totally, at least try to come across as loving toward women, although misguided. But this guy is just straight out an ass, with no pretense. How do these guys get a following in the church world? (Again, I’ll look it up later. I was just mind-boggled.)

  • CrazyDogLady

    Well, ok, at least I clicked far enough to determine that he doesn’t seem to be a leader in a church, thank heavens – just a self proclaimed expert on life. Ick.

  • Astrin Ymris

    Yet for some reason, they never seem to realize that their vicious contempt for women may be why they can’t get a date.

  • KarenJo12

    I read the original post. He’s responding to a letter posted on another blog.

  • KarenJo12

    This guy was why body-melting quicklime was invented, but it would be wrong of me to think that.

  • jinxyjinx

    My head nearly exploded. “Weaker vessel.” Seriously?! I would like to see these men give birth and then raise said offspring, and still have the stones to refer to us as weak. Truly sickening! Can somebody please start a Go Fund Me account to give these men a vasectomy? I really don’t want them reproducing, with their clear contempt and hatred of women.

  • jinxyjinx

    So very, very true!

  • gimpi1

    ” They basically hate women because they can’t get a date. “

    Therefore, courtship. See how all this pathological behavior fits together?

  • Leigh Andrews

    And “courtship” is just a tiny step away from slavery for the woman.

  • Leigh Andrews

    Quicklime doesn’t melt the body as much as hasten decomposition. Mixing quicklime with water (or moisture from the body) is an exothermic reaction, and the heat will help the body tissues decompose more quickly.
    You do make me think that I should apply my background in chemistry to the production of enhanced decompostion aids. They would make an interesting wedding or shower gift, along with an axe, saw, butcher knife and perhaps a sledgehammer.

  • gimpi1

    Yes, the next step after “courtship” is “betrothal.” Quoting Qiverfull regularly runs snippits from a fellow who believes in totally arranged marriages, no input from the couple, and especially not the bride. Just fathers making a deal, and then “marriage” for life, no divorce allowed, total female submission mandated. How that isn’t a form of slavery, I’ll never understand.

  • Leigh Andrews

    You’d need a hundred times more for the legal defense fund for the kidnappers than the medical costs, because none of these men would volunteer to get a vasectomy. Children are the chains that they use to bind women to them.

  • Lisa Batista

    The guy doesn’t even know his donkeys. Some sweet talk and peppermints overcomes any problem.

  • Nightshade

    Good to know…

  • OhNotAnotherOne

    When I get overwhelmed by (xyz), my man “micromanages” with a hug and by helping with dishes. Just seeing that I’m not alone doing this spurs me on and I’m generally much better very soon afterward.

    As opposed to my ex, under whose “direction” and “guidance” I developed my PTSD.

  • OhNotAnotherOne

    Indeed. My ex straight-up refused a vasectomy. Ofc he wouldn’t let me use any kind of birth-control except condoms…. which kept mysteriously either breaking or falling off.

  • jinxyjinx

    You make an excellent point.

  • My personal opinion; if a man had to go through a really bad period, he’d be screaming for a doctor, a priest and opiates withing 10 minutes.

  • Leigh Andrews

    For what it’s worth, my dentist told me that his experience is that women are much more likely to forgo novocaine than men, even for very extensive work. Men often want multiple shots PLUS nitrous oxide.