Quoting Quiverfull: Yelling – The New Spanking?

Quoting Quiverfull: Yelling – The New Spanking? April 10, 2015

quotingquiverfullby Michael Pearl of No Greater Joy in part nine of his new foreword for his book “To Train Up A Child” – Attack on Traditional Child Training

Editor’s note: I agree with Michael that yelling is no solution, but spanking is not the answer to yelling. You cannot replace one bad discipline method with another. Plus, I think many parents have been yelling at their kids for a long long time now. It’s not a new thing.

Ralph Welsh of Clemson University said, “. . . some experts speculate that many families—apparently taking to heart research that indicates spanking can make kids more aggressive, angry, and lead to problems later in life—are instead turning to yelling as a way to control their children.”

Amy McCready, founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, says, “Yelling is the new spanking. It’s sort of the go-to strategy for parents . . . I think (this) definitely is a generation of yellers.”

The Wall Street Journal (Sept. 4, 2013) published an article by Andrea Petersen with the attention-grabbing headline, “Study Says Yelling Is as Hurtful as Hitting.” Petersen, referencing University of Pittsburg researchers, says, “Parents who yell at their adolescent children for misbehaving can cause some of the same problems as hitting them would, including increased risk of depression and aggressive behavior . . . .”

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

 Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

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  • Saraquill

    All quote with no commentary or analysis in between. This reflects poorly on Pearl’s writing abilities.

  • What writing abilities?

  • SAO

    The problem Pearl has is that he wants instant obedience to the parents’ whims. You can’t get this without threats (like God will punish you for eternity) or force.
    Good parenting requires understanding your kids. It requires listening and responding. It requires understanding and considering the child’s point of view. Pearl doesn’t understand this.

    If you want a kid to drop everything and jump when the parent says jump, for no reason better than the parent felt like making the kid jump, all methods of achieving or attempting to achieve that goal will be unproductive.

    I expect it is hard to get instant obedience without threats or force because it disrespects the child’s priorities. I try to use natural consequences, when possible. For example, if a kid doesn’t empty the dishwasher in time for others to put their dishes in, that kid has to put all the dishes in the sink into the dishwasher. When I was tired of my son losing his mittens, I told him he’d have to buy the next pair out of his allowance. He did lose them again. I suggested he pay his sister $3 to find them (she was much better at finding things than he was), which he reluctantly agreed to, as it was far cheaper than buying new mittens, but after that, he never lost a pair again.

    I offer my kids a choice. If they complain about something, I say they can propose a different solution. You don’t want to do this chore? Here are some others you can trade for. You don’t like my nagging you every morning to get up and ready for school? I don’t like nagging, either. I’d like to hear your proposed solution. When they do something inconsiderate, I ask what the consequence should be. It’s really effective at ending complaints. I started doing this in middle school.

  • Plain English

    There are many ways to harm the self and others; certainly yelling can be one. The issue has to do with disrespect towards self and babies/kids. Hitting with words, as many survivors of angry parentals will freely share, is almost worse sometimes than more openly harmful hitting. How many of us have told our mean-mouthed Christian parents they should just outright hit us instead of jabbing away forever with words. If they hit us, maybe they could feel better and not harp on forever. A kid knows, feels the real disdain behind verbal attacks. This bullshit is rampant in evangelical circles, and not just there.

  • Saraquill

    He can spell (I think.)