by Aletha cross posted from her blog Yllom Mormon
Last time, I started on Chapter 4, which begins a huge list of the reasons men need their wives. Sometimes the text makes good points, yet the theme of every section seems to be something along the lines of “your wife needs you to need her. Your wife’s womanly nature (from God) makes her want to meet your (as a man) needs. Let her. If you don’t let your wife meet your needs, bad things will happen to you both. Plus emotional imbalance for you wife.” I’m not even kidding. Go read last section. I’ll wait.
Back? Alright. Let’s begin. Text, as always, is in purple.
I Need Her Comfort
We tough guys don’t like to admit that we need comforting. And I can admit it only as a matter of principle. Now, understand, if tomorrow my wife says, “Do you need some comfort?” I will say, “Who, me? Why should I need comfort?” A wife can soothe the troubled soul of a man like good news. Her touch, quiet smile, reassuring words, and positive outlook can give rest to the weary. A man without the fellowship of his wife will have no place to dump his burdens. There would be more war and personal duels if we didn’t have our women to comfort us.
Once again, Michael is asserting what a manly man he is. Also, once again, there is nothing to say that men should comfort their wives, or that their wives may ever need comfort. I would contend that a man’s touch, smile, and reassuring words can give rest to the weary wife. But maybe that’s not manly enough? Oh, and when was the last time someone had a duel?
I realize that many of my readers are thinking, “Yeah, my wife just makes me angry. She doesn’t comfort me at all.” That’s my point. You have failed to bring your wife to the place where she can provide the comfort that your spirit needs. You would see a tremendous change in her if you could communicate that you desire her fellowship. Where there is distrust and hurt, one act or word on your part is not going to purge her of so many negative feelings, but many acts of patience and kindness will eventually open her soul to you. It is your responsibility to sanctify and cleanse your wife with your words. (Ephesians 5:26)
A woman by nature needs to be the source of comfort to her children and her husband. If she is denied this role she will be significantly unfulfilled as a woman. She is comforted in comforting. Let her be the woman God created her to be.