by Michael Pearl from No Greater Joy – Angry Children
Editor’s note: One of the most poisonous ideas yet – “Anger is a generated drama where self is the star—the defender of justice, the conquering aggressor. If feels good to strike a blow for the good guys, to put down the enemy.” That’s not how anger works for most people, not even when angry over people that refuse to use their turn signals or asshole spouses that inconvenience you by not showing up on time for meals. Both of those are justifiable reasons to experience anger and to say something to the other person if you get a chance. It’s not ‘generated drama’ to stand up for what is right. We all know that Michael has provoked anger in many and it’s not a manufactured outrage to turn attention towards the one feeling the anger.
Second point – there’s no pleasure in anger. Feeling angry is awful, your chest gets tight, your heart pounds and your head can feel like it’s going to explode! Why would anyone consider that pleasurable unless it’s the only emotion that they might be able to feel.
Nearly every angry outburst is rooted in righteous feelings. A man rails at his neighbor over his loud music, “It is wrong to invade my property with your offensive music; I will put an end to your selfish ways and force you to do the right thing.” Anger springs from the belief that somebody did me or another wrong.
A wife angrily nags her husband, “Why didn’t you call and tell me you were going to be late; I spent three hours preparing this meal and it went to waste. You are so inconsiderate.” She believes she is on the side of right and he is wrong—a child that needs to be rebuked, a thoughtless, evil man that cares for no one but himself. It is her duty to set things right, to rebuke and warn and threaten until he sees the error of his ways and stops hurting people. Anger is a generated drama where self is the star—the defender of justice, the conquering aggressor. If feels good to strike a blow for the good guys, to put down the enemy.
A three-year-old child is told to go to sleep, or that he cannot have a cookie, or that he can’t go out to play, and he throws an angry tantrum. If we could get into his mind we would discover that he thinks he is in the right and is being wrongly treated. Adults go out when they please and get in the cookie jar when they wish, and adults stay up late; so it is obviously a human right. He is being bullied and deprived of his divine right to free self-expression. It is just cause for a war. Throw off the tyrant and live free. It is the righteous duty of all free three-year-olds everywhere.
If you are going to effectively combat anger in your children you must see into their souls and address their grievances from their perspectives. Do not assume that they should just cheerfully obey without understanding why. When government is arbitrary and infringes upon our liberties, we adults get angry. But if the road detour is explained as a bridge that is out, we accept the temporary inconvenience.
The angry child sometimes experiences unpleasantness in his expressions of anger, but most of the time it produces various degrees of pleasure. It is that pleasurable stimulation that causes the chronically angry child to return to anger when there isn’t justifiable provocation. In anger one relishes the opportunity to get even with somebody. Further, in anger one convinces himself that he is right and that the other fellow is wrong. That gives a mental pleasure.
The pleasure of anger is the pleasure of a conqueror or of a crusader for truth and justice. It is soothing to assert oneself and display strength and courage in the face of the “wicked” adversary. Adults will go away and brag about how they “called a spade a spade,” how they “shot from the shoulder” and “told it like it is.” He gave a good account of himself and is quite satisfied with his performance, expecting others to admire his fortitude and courage.
QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.