by Mel cross posted from her blog When Cows and Kids Collide
To keep things straight, I’ve made a cheat sheet based off the Duggar Police Report of 2006.
March 2002: Josh (14 years) confesses to Jim Bob and Michelle that he’s molested Daughters “A” and “D” while they were sleeping (when at least one girl was sleeping on the couch of the living room). “D” doesn’t remember the abuse; “A” woke up at one point and thought in her half-awake state that Josh was stealing her blanket.
May 2002: Josh confesses to Jim Bob and Michelle that he molested Non-Duggar “H” while she was babysitting / sleeping over on the couch in the living room. She doesn’t remember being molested, but has been kept away from Josh since he returned from Little Rock.
March 2003: Josh (most likely but possibly a sibling) confesses to Jim Bob that he molested Daughter “C” while babysitting her while the parents were out. Around this time, Jim Bob and Michelle find out that Daughter “B” was molested by Josh near the laundry room. Daughter “D” saw at least some of what happened between Daughter “B” and Josh and was disturbed enough by the memory of that AND/OR the fact she was molested in her sleep to cry during the interview with police.
To be clear: Daughters “C” and “B” remember the abuse clearly enough to report what happened in 2006 AND Daughter “D” was disturbed enough what she saw and/or experienced to cry during a police interview.
Josh is shipped off to a friend of the family to help remodel a building in Little Rock for three months. He is now 15 years. (FYI: Probably not legal for a 15 year old to be remodeling a building. )
July 2003: Josh returns to the family. He’s escorted by Jim Bob to the police station where Sgt. Hutchins lectures him sternly and fails to report abuse as mandated.
December 2006: A concerned person sends Harpo Studios and the local police an email/fax warning of abuse in the Duggar family. The police report that should have been filed in 2003 was finally filed, but the statute of limitation have passed.
The bolded, italicized sections are added by the author to point out the lies.
Lie One: ” And so we went, and the first thing was to protect the girls. And so we went in –“
Truth: Josh molested three known victims – Daughters “B” and “C” as well as “H” – after Jim Bob and Michelle decided to protect the girls.
“KELLY: The girls all slept together?
M. DUGGAR: Hm-mm.
J. B. DUGGAR: Yes. The girls had two bedrooms at the time.
KELLY: How many girls are we talking about?
J. B. DUGGAR: We had five girls at the time.”
Truth: Assuming Jim Bob and Michelle are speaking strictly of what they knew in March 2002, they were aware that at least one daughter had been molested outside of the girls’ bedroom. By the time Josh was sent away, 80% of his victims had been molested outside of their bedroom. Why bother lying about such a small thing? Door locks and door alarms. There’s a reason Jill and Jessa started talking about door locks – if the Duggars imply that Josh was sneaking into the girls’ bedrooms, putting up door locks is a (pathetic) safety move. Since he was molesting outside of the bedrooms – and during the day – it’s a pointless attempt by JimBob and Michelle to look like responsible parents.
“KELLY: OK. But neither one had any recollection of [being molested].
J. B. DUGGAR: They did not know.”
Truth: Daughter “A” remembered Josh pulling a blanket off of her during one of the attacks. She remembered something. This is the beginning of Jim Bob and Michelle’s theme: NO MEMORY-NO PROBLEM.
“J.B. Duggar: But really, looking back, we did the best we could under the circumstances.”
Truth: Josh molested two more sisters and a guest after he confessed the first time. The Duggar parents should be hideously ashamed at their efforts – because they CLEARLY FAILED.
“J.B. Duggar: And so we talked to him, we put all kinds of punishments on him, we watched him, like, all the time. I took him to work with me, and he just — I mean, we just poured our life into it.”
Truth: Well, except when you had a female family friend over and she fell asleep on the couch. How did you forget to warn her? Oh, and that time you left him at home with your daughter “C” while you were out at dinner. Yup. Watched him like a hawk.
Lies Six, Seven and Eight:
“J. B. DUGGAR: OK. So, we had safeguards that protected them from that. But there was another incident where — two different incidents where the girls were, like, laying on the couch, and it was — he had touched, like, over the couch and actually touched their breast while they were asleep. And so
M. DUGGAR: Over their clothes.
J. B. DUGGAR: — over their clothes.”
Truth: The “girls’ bedroom as danger area” is a strawman. The Duggars knew by March 2002 that Josh molested his sister “A” in the living room on the couch and did nothing to protect non-Duggar “H”. Sister “C” was molested on the couch – but she was awake and touched under her clothing. Touching “over the clothing” is NO less abusive than “under the clothing”.
Freaking Improbable One:
J.B. Duggar: “But as we talked to other parents and different ones since then, a lot of families have said that they’ve had similar things happen in their families.”
Reality Check One: There is nothing normal about molesting 4 siblings and at least 1 unrelated girl. I cannot, however, disprove Jim Bob’s statement that his family regularly interacts with other abusive families.
The Moment the Ground should have swallowed him:
“J.B. Duggar: “All of these — again, this was not rape or anything like that, this was like touching somebody over their clothes. There were a couple incidents where he touched them under J. B. DUGGAR: You know, what? As parents you’re not mandatory reporters. The law allows for parents to do what they think is best for their child.their clothes, but it was like a few seconds and then he came to us and was crying and told us what happened, and it was after that third time he came to us is where we really felt like, you know what? We have done everything we can as parents to handle this in-house. We need to get help.”
Reality Check Two: Molestation isn’t OK. Your attempts to handle this “in-house” allowed Josh to molest three more victims. Jim Bob, you make me sick.The moment that leads to changes in mandated reporting laws:“J. B. DUGGAR: You know, what? As parents you’re not mandatory reporters. The law allows for parents to do what they think is best for their child.”
Reality Check Three: Which kid? Josh – he asked for help; you never gave it to him. Daughter “D” – you let her see her sister “B” be molested after being molested herself. Daughters “B” and “C” who were attacked while you were trying to cover it in-house. Which kid did you help?
Lies Nine and Ten:
“KELLY: And we’ll going to get to that in one second. The subsequent incidents after the first one involved daughters who were awake, at least a couple of them?
J. B. DUGGAR: There was a couple, yes. And they didn’t really understand, though, what happened.
KELLY: Yes. What —
M. DUGGAR: It was more his heart, his intent. He knew that it was wrong. But in theirs they weren’t even aware. They were like, you know, it wasn’t — to them they didn’t probably even understand that it was an improper touch.”
Truth: The police reports make it clear that “B” and “C” knew that Josh molested them. Remember, all of this happen while Jim Bob and Michelle were “pouring their life into” watching Josh.
Lie Eleven and Twelve:
“KELLY: And prior to him leaving, were you concerned for the safety of your daughters?
M. DUGGAR: Well, we definitely put safeguards in our home.
J. B. DUGGAR: Yes, and we also talked to our daughters and reminded them about wrong and right touch and about if anybody ever touched you in a wrong way for you to come and tell your mom immediately.”
Truth: You said that the girls didn’t know Josh touched them in a wrong way. Not even two minutes ago – you said that. Also, at the risk of beating a dead horse, your safeguards still allowed Josh to molest at least three more times.
Lie Thirteen:“J. B. DUGGAR: You know, I think it was a situation where we felt like our son’s heart had gone astray. I think Jesus shared a story about he had a hundred sheep and one went astray, and there he was. He took care of the 99 but he also went after the one that went astray. And so, as parents we still loved Josh and we love our other ones, but we’re going to protect those that are in our hands, but also we’re going to make sure Josh doesn’t make any wrong choices.
M. DUGGAR: It doesn’t mean that you’re not a good shepherd. Jesus is a good shepherd but he went after that one that went astray. And so I think as parents we were trying to do the best that we knew how to help this one and protect these. And I feel like through that, as we came to that point where, you know, Josh shared, you know, improperly touching a young one, we were devastated and we said, we’ve got to send him out of the home. He has got to go and seek counsel and get help.”
Truth: It’s gotta hurt like hell to be an “older” Duggar girl. Your parents are reasonably OK with you being molested compared to your little sister.
Let’s chat for a sec about how you “helped” Josh at home. Oh, wait. You did nothing. Josh self-reported 4 of the 5 known assaults. One of the victims or witness reported the fifth. No counseling. No removal to a grandparent, aunt /uncle or cousin without children. No emergency foster care. Not a freaking thing.
Jim Bob and Michelle are not Good Shepards.
“KELLY: All this you learned from Josh.
J. B. DUGGAR: And actually none of the victims really knew about this or understood what he had done until we told them.
One: We’ve covered this: Daughters “B”, “C” and “D” were awake and aware of being molested or seeing a sister be molested.
Two: NO MEMORY-NO PROBLEM is sick logic.
Please, let this be a lie:
“KELLY: I’m asking you more as the father of your girls than as the father of Josh. You know, it must have been very hard to look at your little one and know the behavior had been ongoing, as difficult as your position was.
J. B. DUGGAR: Right. I was so thankful, though, that Josh came and told us. And our girls, even though this was a very bad situation, as we’ve talked to other families who have had, you know, other things happen, a lot of their stories were even worse.
KELLY: And just to clarify, it was four daughters and there was a babysitter outside the family.
J. B. DUGGAR: Yes.”
Or else the truth is:Jim-Bob knows situations where one abuser hurt more than 5 people in one year and he’s OK with that.
Lie Fifteen:“KELLY: We’re getting into that. First I want to ask you about the counseling because the counseling Josh got in that treatment center was that the only counseling he ever received. What about your daughters?
J.B. DUGGAR: No. Josh actually went and had complete professional…
KELLY: The real licensed therapist counseling?
M. DUGGAR: All of our children received professional counseling, including Josh. After this, all of our children received professional counseling, including Josh, who paid for his own counseling himself.
J.B. DUGGAR: It was an accredited professional counselor.
Truth: To paraphrase Michelle, he was a mentor “kind of “……but not licensed.
KELLY: Did you ever worry that the treatment didn’t work, especially with so many young children in the house?
J.B. DUGGAR: No. No. Josh was a changed person.
M. DUGGAR: We still had those safeguards in place. I mean, there were a lot of things that changed in our understanding as parents with this first child, first son to come to this place in his life, we’re like, there were things we learned even since then that I think, you know what, we don’t let boys baby-sit. They don’t play hide and seek together, the two don’t go off and hide. There are just a lot of things we’ve put in place. You’re not alone in a room with someone else. Always be out visible, and, you know, little ones don’t sit on big boys’ laps or people that you don’t know or even family members, unless it’s your daddy. So we just — there’s boundaries that we’ve learned —
Lie Seventeen:“M. DUGGAR: I think that protecting young girls and not allowing young men or men in general to go into a girls’ locker room is just common sense.”Truth: That is NOT what your robocall was about. Woman, you let four of your daughters and one babysitter be molested under your roof – you have NO place to lecture us on common sense.
Lie Eighteen and Nineteen:
“KELLY: What happens to the Duggars from here?
J.B. DUGGAR: I don’t know if the rest of the family should be punished for acts of our children that happened 12 years ago or not, but, you know, we are fine whether they film us or not. We’re going to go ahead and live life and serve god and make a difference in the world.”
Truth: Why is Jim Bob so reluctant to express anger or outrage at the fact his daughters were molested? Because he blames the girls AND Josh equally. Let’s not be stupid; you need the cash to keep your lifestyle going.
“M. DUGGAR: What’s devastating as a mom for me is we took our children to the children safety center. We trusted them. We trusted the police department. Our children poured out their hearts. They shared everything. And then to have their trust betrayed? And for all of their information and everything they share to be turned over to a tabloid, for those things to be twisted and shared in a slanderous way, story after story, tabloid after tabloid. That breaks my heart for my girls because I think this is such a horrible — they’ve been victimized more by what has happened in these last couple weeks than they were 12 years ago because they honestly – – they didn’t even understand or know that anything had happened until after the fact when they were told about it. And so I think there’s not — in our hearts before god, we haven’t been keeping secrets, we have been protecting those that, honestly, should be protected. And now what’s happened is they’ve been victimized. But people with an agenda, and for whatever profit they think they’re going to get? But in this, one thing I know is god is going to use all of this for good.”
THE TRUTH: The following children TRUSTED you, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar: Daughter “A”, Daughter “B”, Daughter “C”, Daughter “D”, the babysitter “H”, and Josh Duggar.
You BETRAYED them in 2002, 2003 and 2015 for money and fame.
The worst part is still to come, Jim Bob and Michelle.
Your daughters are growing…beginning their own families.
With maturity, your daughters will realize that you were willing to sacrifice them – not to save Josh – but to avoid inconveniencing yourself.
I only have one question: How do you sleep at night?
Mel is a science teacher who works with at-risk teens and lives on a dairy farm with her husband. She’s a wise fount of knowledge about things involving living with a farmer and farming. She blogs at When Cows and Kids Collide