Quoting Quiverfull: Please Stop Kissing My Future Unknown Wife?

Quoting Quiverfull: Please Stop Kissing My Future Unknown Wife? June 21, 2015

quotingquiverfullby an unknown author from To Save A Life – Please Stop Kissing My Wife

Editor’s note: More purity culture/rape culture garbage. Why is it this man is objecting to anyone possibly kissing his maybe future wife when it sounds like from his own descriptions of his dating life pre-Christ that he likely had a pile of booty calls. Why does the purity standard that calls women ‘unwrapped licked candy bars’ for normal expressions of romance like holding hands or kissing like they’re some sort of Whore of Babylon and not treat the sexually experienced young men of the movement the same way? Male having had some sweet between the sheets mambo action that then confesses it to the Almighty is suddenly pure and clean, while some poor sheltered young lady that kissed a boy is used and dirty? /Head to desk.

SO … to the man currently dating my future wife: I hope you’re quick to remind her of her beauty and worth but NEVER leave her feeling like her looks are all she has to offer. I hope you NEVER set a standard that’s even hard for me, her future husband, to meet. I hope you NEVER change your personality trying to be who she wants, and by doing so, waste more time that I could be spending with her. Last but not least, please, PLEASE don’t ever replace God in her life. Push her to EXPECT a decent man, not idolize one. Remind her God has CALLED HER TO A LASTING LOVE, not pushed her into a momentary fling. Guard her heart, protect her purity and love her so selflessly that you’d end the relationship—even knowing it would hurt her—if you knew it was best for her.

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

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Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

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  • Antoinette Herrera

    Nice to see the purity double standard in action here: girls have to remain chaste, while dudes can be kid Casanovas till they repent.

    The blogger also manages to warp the concept of body acceptance, knocking women who like to look at attractive men.

    What puts me off, in the end, is how creepy this dude is. He seems to regard his ex-girlfriend as property, and is not happy that she’s dating someone else. I don’t like the passive-aggressive way that he attempts to undermine this relationship, as if he’s entitled to her. She should stay away from him.

  • Nea

    That whole thing is toxic about how he feels about others interacting with *his* guaranteed future sex slave, but two sentences are particularly staggering about how they betray his basic insecurities:

    I hope you NEVER set a standard that’s even hard for me, her future husband, to meet.
    Because even if one isn’t worried about meeting the basic minimum standards that would stop one’s friends and neighbors from protesting about one treats one’s property (or disbar one from getting permission to obtain said property in the first place), one still shouldn’t have to put any actual *effort* into impressing one’s future sex slave. Better to treat her like dirt now so she doesn’t get any ideas about standards and boundaries that no patriarch should have to consider.

    I hope you NEVER change your personality trying to be who she wants
    For the love of God, don’t let her think that she should get what she wants in any way or form. She has to understand – she’s property and slaves do NOT get any say about their master!

  • SAO

    “I hope you NEVER set a standard that’s even hard for me, her future husband, to meet. ” Because I’m an inconsiderate chauvinist and I want her to think she’s lucky to have me.

  • Rebecca Horne

    What a self-centered asshole.

    Don’t set a standard that’s hard to reach. Don’t put too much effort into the relationship. I want her think I’m the best she can get, but I don’t want to have to work too hard for it, you know?

    Don’t ruin this for me, bro.

  • Also, don’t test drive my car. In fact, all men everywhere should not date, on the off chance that one of your flings might be mine. And I don’t want no licked cupcake, though.

  • Antoinette Herrera

    Future husband, or stalker in the making?

  • brbr2424

    “I hope you NEVER change your personality trying to be who she wants, and by doing so, waste more time that I could be spending with her.”

    Someone needs to keep an eye on this guy, maybe even an ankle bracelet. Is he stalking some woman in particular, waiting for the guy to screw up so that he can jump right in? Entering relationships has a lot to do with time an place. If sad guy gets his wish and first boyfriend doesn’t treat target woman well, then some other guy could jump in, before sad guy even meets target woman.

    Taking religion and the sociopath overtones out of this, isn’t this what every new boyfriend, girlfriend, employee wants? The bar of past relationships set so low that not much effort is required to be a star? But most of us value our dignity too much to come out and say it.

  • brbr2424

    From the original article: “Because sexual abuse and perversion were such a big part of my life, for a long time” Was he a pedophile or rapist before finding Jesus?

    As always, the comments are more interesting than the screed. I won’t comment because the site uses Facebook for comments.

  • Friend

    I’m wondering if this is the guy that the woman in today’s other posting (“Oh boy!”) is obsessed with…

  • Mel

    Don’t forget the creepy fact that he spends time worrying about what girls he likes who are dating other guys might be doing sexually with their current BF. Because he’s totes got a chance once they break up. Ewwwww.

  • ConcepcionImmaculadaPantalones

    Hey anon-a-jerk:

    Get bent. See that metal pole over there? Sit on it and rotate. You decided to ‘let her go’, it’s not her fault God had someone NOT YOU in the plans for her future.

    Until the day where you can see that the ladies are not ‘ruined’ because they happen to have a vaj and a ‘past’ (I mean come on, you have one, and your best argument is: Because, PENIS.), and quit obsessing over what might be going on between unnamed parties on the off chance that the as-yet-unknown person you imagine yourself marrying, could be one of those unnamed people…you will continue to be lacking in the depth and quality that makes a man worth marrying. Good luck basement-dweller.

  • Saraquill

    If kissing who I please means not having to put up with this writer, then I have some smooching to do.

  • BlueVibe

    I want to be allowed to lick everyone else’s future cupcakes, though.

  • Astrin Ymris

    1). Why does this idiot assume that the non-CPM men dating his unknown future wife give a flying fuck what he thinks?

    2). Does this creep actually believe he can lay claim to all the unwed women in the world in absentia, demanding that every other man on earth defer to his potential claim?

  • Antoinette Herrera

    To me, he sounds like someone who will wind up at A Voice for Men. Scary thought.

  • YaddaYadda

    The dude sounds like he’s got some serious issues with women in general. No wonder he hasn’t married yet. No woman alive could possibly meet his unrealistic expectations. Women should run from him. Fast.