NLQ Question of the Week: Why is a Man’s Infidelity Always The Wife’s Fault?

NLQ Question of the Week: Why is a Man’s Infidelity Always The Wife’s Fault? August 27, 2015

QuestionoftheweekThis is a new series we have started running on Thursdays. Examining some of the questions involving long held Quiverfull theology and life.

One of the sadder things that has happened after Josh Duggar’s infidelity was exposed is the number of Christians expressing the idea that a wife is always responsible when the husband has sex with someone else during their marriage. It’s an idea that has been mentioned even in the mainstream media, that poor heartbroken betrayed Anna Duggar is going to be blaming herself and it’s likely the entire family will blame her. Like she doesn’t have enough trauma and pain in her life this unBiblical theology point is going to add to that. It’s already happened as the Duggar’s pastor, Reverend Ronnie Floyd preached on the scandal and said that couples should be having lots of sex or they’ll lose their spouse to the sexual revolution. That the right kind of sex will keep your spouse from straying. Jill Duggar Dillard, her husband Derick Dillard and Jessa Duggar Seewald posted things online backing up that assertion.

Fortunately not everyone is blaming Anna for something Josh has apparently struggled with since he was a teenager. Anna’s brother Daniel has offered to take her and her children in, and has stood up to everyone saying she should stay with Josh. Her sister Susanna, the same sister that the Duggar family has shunned for having a baby out of wedlock, has also stood up to say this is wrong and that Anna needs to leave Josh and his family. Good for them, it’s good to see someone standing up for an innocent victim of this news. Anna did nothing wrong.

Which leads me to the question of the week: Why is a man cheating considered something that his wife did wrong instead of a moral failure and wrong choice on the behalf of the husband only?

Here’s hoping that if Anna does stay with Josh that she gets real counseling, holds Josh accountable for everything he’s done, insists he get tested for STDs and makes him stay celibate a minimum of six months after his last sexual contact with any of his other partners. It’s too much to insist a girl raised in the poor and restrictive fundamentalist environment that Anna was to think she would leave.

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