Quoting Quiverfull: Early Marriage or You’re a Used Up Whore?

Quoting Quiverfull: Early Marriage or You’re a Used Up Whore? August 20, 2015

quotingquiverfullby Nancy Campbell from Above Rubies – The Waiting Game

Editor’s note: Okay, okay, so perhaps Nancy didn’t call older brides whores. But she did say that people who marry later are coming into the marriage ‘violated’, which is sort of her polite way of saying ‘slut’ or ‘whore’. She’s pushing the same idea that Von Ohlman and that disgusting Biblical Gender Roles guy promote, marry very young because if you wait you might commit the sin of lust.

When God brought forth the first beautiful woman from the side of Adam, what realm did she come into? She immediately came forth to be a wife . . . and then a mother. After the glorious introduction of Eve to Adam, God states: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his WIFE: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

Wow! She didn’t even have time to be single. She didn’t have time to find who she really was. She didn’t have time to have her fling before she settled down into marriage. She didn’t have time to have fun before she had children. She didn’t even have time to go to college! These are the comments we hear in today’s society.

Now don’t get me wrong. I know there are some women who will not get married. There are others who do not meet “the right one” until their thirties, or even forties. However, the majority meet when they are relatively young. This is God’s plan. This is the way He has created us. This is the time of life when He puts the desire within us for marriage, and yes, for sexual union.

Society today believes in the waiting game. You must wait unto you are more mature. You must wait until you have finished college. You must wait until you are financially settled. You must wait until “you have all your ducks in a row.” You must wait until you have traveled and seen the world! This sounds wise advice, but is it biblical?

We read in Malachi 2: 15 about the “wife of his youth” and Joel 1:8 about the “husband of her youth.” We read in Psalm 127:4 about the “children of your youth.” The word “youth” in the Hebrew word “na’uwr” and means “young people, juvenile.” That doesn’t sound like old to me.

If Colin and I had waited until we were financially secure before we married, we wouldn’t be married yet! If we waited for the ‘perfect” time to have children, we still wouldn’t have any children! It all sounds so plausible, but it’s hot air and the wisdom of this world. The reality is that God intends couples to marry young and have children when they are young.

We don’t find who God wants us to be by doing our own thing. We find who we are as women through marriage and motherhood. This is how we mature. This is how a young man matures. There is nothing like marriage to mature a young man. You watch him grow before your eyes (unless he is unteachable and without godly training). Ultimately, God gives parents the responsibility to prepare their children for married, from childhood through adolescence.

Amazingly, many couples are quite happy with the waiting game. But what happens with all this waiting? Instead of coming to marriage as pure virgins and righteous young men they come violated. God’s plan is for “young men to marry virgins” (Isaiah 62:5). The waiting game does not help God’s plan.

Why do we think we know better than God?

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

13:24 – A Story of Faith and Obsession by M Dolon Hickmon


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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Astrin Ymris

    We don’t “think we know better than God” Nancy; we just don’t think that you have a single clue about what God wants, despite your laughable biblical eisegesis.

  • ShinyZubat

    Honestly, if I’m never “ready” for kids (and mine is a mental thing, as opposed to a financial one) then, well… I just won’t have them. I’d rather not do it, than do a bad job. *shrug* I think the world will go on regardless of how many kids I bring into the world.

  • Antoinette Herrera

    Shorter Nancy Campbell: College? A career? Financial stability? Critical thinking skills? Who needs them? Just get married, preferably while you’re young. Otherwise, well, you’re just damaged goods.

  • SAO

    When God brought forth the first beautiful woman from the side of Adam, what realm did she come into? She immediately came forth to a tropical climate. There was no snow. Did Adam or Eve wear Parka? No the very work “Parka” comes from the Nenets word for a warm, hooded jacket. The Nenets live in Russia! They must be Communists!

    “But, I need to be warm!” These are the comments we hear in today’s society. Amazingly, many people are quite happy to wear parkas. But what happens with all this parka-wearing? Instead of living in God’s clothing, they wrap themselves in Godless communist garbage. God’s plan is for people to wear the light robes and togas of Iron Age Israel.

    Why do we think we know better than God? (Who surely planned that snow would only fall on heathen Eskimos and Godless commies).

  • Mel

    So, how does one go about married life while being financially insecure and having no skill set? Are parents supposed to support married offspring indefinitely? How does that fit with the leave and cleave ideal espoused by the Bible?

    I could care less about at what age people marry, but you sure as hell better be adult enough to support yourself before you enter a committed relationship.

    Also, it’s masochistic to tether women to men to force the men to mature faster. I married a man who had matured on his own and wouldn’t have traded that for anything.

  • Finding Home

    Ah, but in the KJV of Genesis it says that god gave Adam and Eve “coats of skin.” In our terminology today a coat is a heavy garment, so that means that it was an actual coat like we think of today. They were obviously wearing heavy coats in that tropical climate. /sarcasm

    I remember hearing a lady preach using this very verse, and she said that since coats are supposed to be warm they have long sleeves, therefore god wants us to keep our arms covered, and that’s why wearing short sleeves is wrong.

  • mayarend

    If Colin and I had waited until we were financially secure before we married, we wouldn’t be married yet!

    Well that looks like it went well then…

  • ChrisFromNewEngland

    Good point. Articles intended to shame singles into marriage claim that it will make the two people mature. Some of the most immature people get married, which is probably why over half of those marriages end.

    If you were childish before you got married, you’re gonna be selfish after you get married.

  • KarenH

    I may have to modify my band name. It was going to be Straw Feminist, but it may need to be The Straw Feminists and the Used Up Whore.

  • KarenJo12

    This silliness is spreading: Doug Wilson on women. And this every bit as vile as you would expect.

  • Nightshade

    Did God install toilets in the garden? No? Then why do we think we know better than God?

  • Jenny Islander

    Out here in the world we th ink about being able to afford the basics for a family, what happens if one spouse is incapacitated, etc. Pure-minded fundamentalists only think about sex, sex, sex, sex, sex.

  • BondGurl7

    I think you should keep the band name, Straw Feminists, and the title song on your first album should be Used Up Whore.

  • Julia Childress

    “After the glorious introduction of Eve to Adam, God states: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his WIFE: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).” Actually, Nancy is taking a little liberty here. Adam speaks in verse 23. In verse 24 it is not God that says “Therefore shall a man leave . . .” It is either the writer of Genesis or Adam, which makes no sense, because how would Adam have known what a mother or father were, having none himself? I know this is an angels-on-the-head-of-a-pin point, but the dishonesty of these cultural enforcers is just maddening. Or maybe she believes that God himself wrote Genesis.

  • uberliberal

    The phrase ‘what god wants’ should send any free thinking person running for the hills. Of course, no contemporary Christian movement would welcome free thinkers anyway. It’s all about indoctrination. Reject religion and live free.

  • BondGurl7

    #1- Josh Duggar is married, and doesn’t seem to have matured. Does that mean he is “unteachable” and “without godly training”? Good luck telling the JBoob your thoughts on his prized son’s lack of maturity.

    #2-Considering that back in the Old Testament, most people lived to be at least 100 years old, I’d say that “youth” could be very subjective.
    #3- Claiming your opinion as God’s Plan doesn’t make it so.

  • BondGurl7

    Follow up song should be Taunt of Slut.

  • Moses. Tradition is that Moses wrote the first five books of the Bible, including the part about his own death.

  • Anonyme

    *walks outside, spontaneously combusts in the sun*
    Yeah, not buying the sleeve thing. I’m guessing she hasn’t been to central Florida in summer.

  • Mermaid Warrior

    How about The Straw Feminist and The Used Up Whores?

  • Aimee Shulman

    Of the 4 couples I know who got married when one or both were under 20, 2 are now divorced. 1 only got married so young because the wife’s crazy, semi-abusive parents wouldn’t let her leave home any other way, and they would otherwise have waited till they were older. Both that couple and the other couple who got married so young say that they hope their children wait till they’re a bit older than that to marry because it made for needlessly difficult years that could have gone much easier with a little more maturity.

  • Finding Home

    Well I have, and you’d better believe I was slogging around in pantyhose and long sleeves.

  • Poster Girl

    What’s funny is that in a lot of cultures the IFB white middle-Americans like to trash, parents supporting young married couples is pretty normal. Both my sets of grandparents lived with THEIR parents for the first few years of marriage– this was in the late 1940s. And to be honest, my parents and in-laws still support us, not financially directly, but helping out with rides when the kids’ schedules take us in opposite directions, with feeding the animals when we’re away on vacation, with just being there for emotional support after a long day at work. And we’re both adults with postgrad degrees in our fields and stable middle-class jobs. But the whole nuclear family thing hasn’t been the norm throughout most of world history.

  • KarenH

    Maybe Used Up Whore should be the album name. And absolutely one of the songs must be Taunt of Slut.

  • Karen the rock whisperer

    I got nothin’. She may be right. She may have analyzed this literary character named “God” exactly right, for all I know. However, I have more sense than to spend my life trying to satisfy the whims of a literary character. To my fellow readers who still believe in the God of the bible, I expect that sounds harsh… but that’s where I am right now.

  • I got married at 22, almost 23 and that was too young by several years *at least*. So it’s NOT a good thing, generally speaking.

  • Antoinette Herrera

    Let me know when the album gets released, and the tour dates. This sounds bloody brilliant.

  • Evelyn

    Hmm. I married young, and while my husband was a virgin, he also turned out to be a rapist. Methinks perhaps virginity is not the end-all be-all Nancy thinks it is.

  • guest

    Your parents and in-laws sound like wonderful people. You are very fortunate.

  • guest

    You know, the word “Biblical” does not equate “what God intended”. The Bible tells us about people and how they lived, and how God had a relationship with some of them. A lot of what these people did cannot, under any circumstance, be understood to be good, or “God’s design”.

    And Nancy seems to have forgotten that Sarah/Sarai got to wait a veeeeeery looooooong time to have her one and only son. So did Hannah, and Elizabeth. Esther was sent to live in a harem and married a heathen king. Did Deborah marry? I can’t remember…. It seems like God is a bit more flexible than Nancy. Now, who thinks she knows better than God?

  • Poster Girl

    I know! And my kids are even luckier to have all four grandparents so close by and so involved in their lives.