Quoting Quiverfull: GPS Is A Sin?

Quoting Quiverfull: GPS Is A Sin? August 3, 2015

quotingquiverfullHeard on the radio from an unknown Independent Fundamentalist Pastor while driving through West Virginia. Paraphrased from a random radio sermon.

Editor’s note: Heard this yesterday while traveling through a remote rural part of West Virginia. Didn’t catch the name of the pastor or his church, just that he was an IFB pastor holding tent revivals. His sermon touched on some pretty silly things, but claiming it is a sin to use a GPS because they are programmed with a woman’s voice and a woman should never tell a man what to do took his sermon from charmingly goofy and quaint to fundy crazytown. Heaven forfend he might actually have to be the patient of a woman doctor or need real help from someone he’s not married to.

“Did you know that God doesn’t want you to have a GPS? Maps are good enough for me, I always carry paper maps to get where I needs to go. GPS is a sin because it’s always some lady’s voice telling you what to do and we all know women are NOT supposed to tell me where to go or what to do. It’s not Biblical and it ain’t submissive like a proper Christian lady.

If your wife decides to try and read your map and tell you where to go you have to tell her to ‘Get thee behind me, Satan! Women have no business telling men what a map says. She may read a map on her own, she may hold your map, but she may not tell you where to go next. It’s rebellion and usurping your manly rights!”

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

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Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Allison the Great

    Wow… I just… I can’t with this one. The amount of insecurity this guy has if he can’t handle a woman giving him directions. Holy fucking shit, wow.

  • guest

    Whaaaat? I hope this is a joke….

  • Nightshade

    No, we women shouldn’t tell him where to go because it would involve using a four-letter word, and that wouldn’t be very lady-like.

  • Jayn

    Dear lord this almost sounds like it has to be satire.

  • And yet, there are sooooo many men who have this problem. To a lesser degree, but. Most of them refuse to ask for directions when they need it, be it from a woman or anyone else, they’d rather keep wandering than admit they got lost.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Sorry, he was serious as a heart attack, jumping around on all sorts of topics that are pretty usual in IFB. When he started saying this crap about GPS my husband and I both started laughing. I Googled when I got to the hotel and cannot find this guy online anywhere. But I heard this in the backwards part of the world where snake handling still takes place. I think he was local.

  • Saraquill

    A man this insecure isn’t fit to lead his own shadow

  • Joseph A Watson

    if hes gonna complain they have male voices for gps as well just female are the default option. now I still think hes being absurd but thats none of my business.

  • Nea

    He’d have to be incredibly backwards to not realize that you can change the voice on a GPS!

  • Nea

    Wow. That is some kind of insecurity, to call a woman giving you basic factual information as rebellion!

  • KarenH

    So apparently no one’s ever told him you can change the voice to a man.

  • Allison the Great

    I think you can even have Homer Simpson as the voice.

  • Nea

    I wouldn’t be remotely surprised. You can get daleks if you get the right system.

  • Allison the Great

    Fuck being ladylike with this clown. “Hey fucker! Take a left, then take a long fucking walk off that short and high cliff… when you’ve reached the bottom, you have arrived at your destination. Destination… below”

  • Allison the Great

    I want one with either Tupac or Gordan Ramsey… imagine one with Gordan!

  • Nea

    I am imagining it. “Take the fucking turn on the fucking left! The fucking left! LEFT! NOW! FUCK!” *scream of rage*

    ETA: I love Gordon Ramsay but he does say the f-word a lot…

  • Julia Childress

    Hmm. I’m going to have to ask my former-fundy beloved the real reason that I have historically been the driver on long trips and he has been the navigator. Maybe he didn’t kick the fundy habit to the extent that I thought he had . . .

  • Poster Girl

    That sounds like a parody from The Onion or something. Dang!

  • Poster Girl

    Also, you can set your GPS to a male voice. My husband’s old Garmin had an option for a voice called “Doctor Nightmare,” who would, when encountering long stretches with no turns, randomly spout out spooky jokes and tell us to ignore that noise in the trunk.

  • Gypsy Rose B

    That’s one of the reasons I love him. He doesn’t mince words. At all.

  • Rachel

    IFB leaders are so paranoid about women usurping a man’s authority! I remember being told that a woman shouldn’t wear pants because it was somehow usurping the man’s authority over her. This doesn’t surprise me one bit.

  • Antoinette Herrera

    I wonder if this preacher would advise his flock to not use an iPhone because they would be exposed to the evil, misandrist SIRI.

  • katiehippie

    I didn’t realize being lost was a manly right.

  • Allison the Great

    “You fucking idiot! You missed your bloody exit! Now you’ve got to find a way to turn the fuck around and – you know what? Fuck this. I’m not helping you any-fucking-more! You’re fucking hopeless! A dead person can drive better than you, I’m fucking done!”

  • Nightshade

    I want a Dalek telling me where to go!….errrr, wait.

  • Nea

    I own a garmin and I’m about to do a long trip. I’m going to have to go looking for that one.

  • Nea

    They’re actually pretty hard to understand. I missed an exit while my friend was going “aren’t they so cool?” and not listening when I said “yeah, funny, BUT!”

  • Nea

    Siri can also be set to a male voice.

  • Antoinette Herrera

    Ah, but would the preacher and the flock reset their devices, or find something else to keep them in a panic?

  • Prashant Mahesvara

    Are you taking the fucking piss? He sounds like something out of a bad comic book, written by one of the apostles.

  • BlueVibe

    I wondered what “GPS” meant in a CP context but, nope, it really did mean GPS.

    They do know that you can often choose a different voice, right? You can have John Cleese insult you as you drive.

  • Alicia Smart

    Almost all GPS has the option for a man’s voice. AND a machine is not a woman. And GPS was invented by MEN so he’s a moron. If only she could blow him between turns, I bet he wouldn’t be bitching then.

  • paganheart

    Pathetic, but not surprising; reminds me of the time my husband and I were in Oklahoma for my uncle’s funeral several years ago. I was scanning through the radio stations and came across a preacher talking about how Christians should not support the local women’s shelter, because women’s shelters were all run by “militant lesbian feminists who want to break up traditional families and encourage divorce” or some such garbage. My husband and I just looked at each other and his comment was “Reminds me why I’m glad we don’t live in this part of the country.”

  • TIMSTILES

    This guy needs to have his mother tell him he is a dumb ass.

  • Frolios

    How does he KNOW that it’s “always” some lady’s voice that comes out of GPS’s?? Unless he’s been secretly sinning by using the godforsaken devices. Oh yeah, we’re on to you, pastor — you pathetic backslider!

  • Frolios

    I’ll guess that the pastor thinks that “GPS” stands for “Godless Prostitute of Satan”. Because …. there’s a woman’s voice coming out of that there dadgum box. And the box was created by scientists — whom everyone knows are the minions of Satan!

  • Frolios

    But if the pastor reset it to a male voice, then he would no longer have a sexy female voice to masturbate to while driving down the road.

  • Frolios

    So GPS’s can now be transgender! Evil, I tell you! EVIL!!

  • a-mckeown

    This is too funny. Doesn’t this preacher know you can change the accent, language, and on some models, the gender for the GPS voice.

  • mayarend

    There’s a law or something that says that any parody of fundies usually is indistinguishable from the real stuff.

  • mayarend

    It’s just telling him WHAT HE ASKED IT TO.

  • AnonCar

    Great. Now I have to tell Mr. AnonCar that we’ve been doing our road trips totally wrong. But women aren’t supposed to tell men they’re wrong. But we can’t keep doing our navigation with me telling him “take this exit” or “turn left onto xyz drive because that’s what is on Google Maps”. But we’ll get lost without one of us navigating. Oh the paradox!

  • Evelyn

    you can get a male voice with a British or Aussie accent, too!

  • OMG, I have a much better sense of direction than my husband if we depended on him we would be lost all the time! This is the craziest thing I have ever heard.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Nope, real pastor heard on the radio while driving through West Virginia on Interstate 64 headed west. Towards the end the signal started breaking up so the only thing I caught about him was that he was a roving WV IFB revival minister, not his name or church.

  • pl1224

    My sentiments exactly!

  • pl1224

    Good golly Miss Molly–what a pathetically insecure little worm!

  • ShinyZubat

    When my husband I take road trips in the car, I don’t just handle the directions, I drive too! I bet I would blow this guy’s mind.

  • Anonyme

    But…you’re the weaker vessel! Your delicate mind can’t handle driving! You need to be making babies and humbly submitting to your husband’s ever command! 😉

  • Anonyme

    I thought I’ve heard some pretty dumb stuff on Christian radio* (drive through the Southern states on a Sunday, turn up the radio, and prepare to be amused/shocked/revolted), but this is completely whacko. Was it Pat Roberson in disguise?

    *Example: a speaker (possibly a pastor) on a Christian radio program in Texas claimed that he knows God made crickets because when their song is slowed down, it “sounds like a heavenly choir”.

  • Anonyme

    If Mr. AnonCar gets you lost, don’t say anything negative. Just smile and be ‘sweet’, or his masculine spirit will be crushed!

  • ShinyZubat

    All those road signs! They’re just too much for me to read! @_@
    I’m pretty sure if my husband ever gave me a command, it would be “Please, PLEASE, don’t get pregnant!” XD

  • gimpi1

    Man, I have to wonder if the preacher you heard was a Poe… this is so outrageous and over the top silly that I can’t imagine that anyone would ever say…

    Wait. Stephen Anderson really exists. Never mind.

  • gimpi1

    I’ve read that it’s a status thing. That asking for directions puts a man “one down” and the person who provides them “one up.” It’s not just an annoyance, plane crashes and fatalities have been attributed to pilots and drivers refusing to ask for directions. The author of the piece I read mentioned seeing this in action when flying with her father. He was unsure on their location, fuel was getting low and yet he refused to radio for directions because, “I don’t want the guys in the tower to think I’m lost.” They made it, but, in researching this behavior, the author discovered several flights that hadn’t.

  • gimpi1

    That is almost always said by people who don’t know that pants weren’t commonly worn 2,000 years ago.

  • gimpi1

    I believe Pat Robertson once referred to shelters for abused women as “runaway wife shelters.” Says it all, really.

  • Astrin Ymris

    Poe’s Law, actually. “…Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is utterly impossible to parody fundamentalism in such a way that someone won’t mistake it for the genuine article…”

  • mayarend

    That, exactly, thank you, was way too lazy to google it 😛

  • Astrin Ymris

    Before sitdown toileting facilities became reasonably available, only horseback-riding nomads regularly wore trousers. To them, the protection offered by pants were worth the hassle they created for elimination.

    I think that’s why, in the west, wearing pants became associated with men. They could urinate standing up, so bifurcated garments were only annoyances once a day or so, when they needed to defecate. Women were considerably more hampered by them.

    Plus, men never get pregnant (at least outside of fanfic). That makes a difference. ;-D

  • gimpi1

    I always get a kick out of people who seem to assume that European Victorian standards were universal until the eeevilll 1960s messed up paradise.

    Pants were commonly worn by women in the Orient for centuries. Kilts are still formal Scottish attire for men. Long loose dress-like garments are often worn by both genders in very hot countries. Women on the American frontier often wore pants. Anyone with a casual acquaintance with historical costuming (like former costumer me;-) knows that. Apparently, many Fundamentalist pastors don’t.

  • Astrin Ymris

    Ah, I’d forgotten women in the Far East, where sitdown toilets are something of a novelty even today beyond the “tourist zone”. That messes up my lovely theory, doesn’t it? ;-D