Answering “Preparing To Be A Help Meet” – Should I Or Shouldn’t I Court Him And How?

Answering “Preparing To Be A Help Meet” – Should I Or Shouldn’t I Court Him And How? September 13, 2015

AnsweringAnother installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical, rational and the best possible solution, in other words 180 degree turn from Debi and friends answers. As always  all spelling and grammar in the posting is unchanged from the original author.

Okay, on to today’s question:

Should I or shouldn’t I court him and how?

I’m 18 years old, soon to be 19, and I need help. I’ve started courting this guy I’ve known for about a year. When we first met, it was just a glance and he was a mutual friend. He sent me a friend request on Facebook sometime in the fall, but I didn’t feel comfortable accepting since I didn’t really know him. But then, sad to say, on Halloween night, I finally accepted his friend request. Almost immediately, we started a conversation.

Let me add real quickly that I started the PTBAHM Bible Study last summer. That was when I really got serious in praying for my future husband, and I said, “If he isn’t a Christian, do whatever it takes to make him realize that he needs You as his Savior.” Shortly after, he was in a near-death accident and realized that he needed Christ as his Savior.

I’ve been praying during this whole year when I first noticed he might be interested, and apparently he had been too. Our courtship started last Wednesday, our first “date” was on this last Saturday. I’m wondering, since God is directing this entire thing, could he be the one for me? Yet, at the same time, we have differences, such as our clothing, the kind of music we listen to, etc., things that will affect our children if and when the time comes that we might decide to get married. What do we do about that?

Also, we both aren’t very sure about the whole courting thing. My mother was raised to believe casual dating was the norm and her mind is constantly changing, so I can’t really go to her. Also, from what I understand, I think he believes it is “dating with the intentions of a possible marriage”. Me? I’m not fully sure yet. So what is Christian courtship and how should it be done or not done?

Please give me any advice that you may possibly have. Thank you!

No one bothered to give this young lady any replies. There are a number of issues to unpack here, it is not a simple problem.

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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

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