Another installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical, rational and the best possible solution, in other words 180 degree turn from Debi and friends always all spelling and grammar in the posting is unchanged from the original author.
Okay, on to today’s question:
I’m 16 years old, and I have known “Fred” (fake name, BTW) for two years. I feel confident in saying that I will marry him someday. My parents and sister adore him, and I think he’s beyond-incredible. We’ve talked about beginning a relationship in a few years, and we’re very clear on boundaries and and keeping our current friendship innocent and distanced for a while yet. We both have amazing relationships with God, and, thanks to the constant teaching from our parents, a healthy, realistic belief for marriage. Nevertheless, we both struggle with temptation (I can’t help it, he’s so CUTE) and frequently reevaluate our friendship to make sure we’re still keeping focused.
But, my real question is, what do I do now? I want to support him as much as I can, but I don’t want to cross any emotional boundaries. This is an important time for him, since he’s still growing up and maturing, and he knows that I’m there for him. He’s working multiple jobs, some with my father, he’s finishing up school and thinking about college, and he’s looking for a place to build/buy a home. I’m working on a commercial fishing boat, working diligently on my last year of school, teaching piano lessons, learning and using homemaking skills, taking music lessons and performing constantly, leading the worship in our church, and preparing myself to become a midwife’s apprentice. I also spend a huge amount of time exercising, gardening, and learning about natural healing (herbs and essential oils, mostly). I want to be a strong, confident wife and I want to be able to give him my life’s savings when we get married. We spend two to three days a week together because our families have a homeschool co-op, and our families are very, very close. How do I encourage and support him now, as a friend/someday wife?