by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts
Tell the truth.
You’re probably thinking that’s crazy, but think about it. If you have been spiritually abused, think about if the perpetrator had told the truth.
“I am not open to questions.”
“You have to support the staff and their decisions no matter what.”
“We do not allow people to express concerns.”
“I’m only interested in getting my own way.”
“Give me enough money and I will listen to you.”
“If you are wealthy enough or have a high enough position in the community, I will befriend you.”
“I am petty.”
“I am vindictive.”
“I am self-aggrandizing.”
“I hate you.”
“I don’t really like people.”
“I don’t want to be bothered.”
“You don’t matter.”
“You don’t deserve a response.”
I’m sure you could add to the list. In fact, please feel free to do so in the comments.
Can you see what I mean? If my former pastor had just blatantly told me the truth, I would have either assured him that I would accept him as is, and seen his abusive behavior as it really is – his own problem – or I would have high-tailed it out of there. Either way, I would not have gotten entrenched for over a decade in an abusive situation that nearly robbed me of my faith.
But, because he/they refused to tell me the truth, and I adamantly determined that I would see him and his proxies in the very best light, I opened myself up to a level of spiritual abuse that was overwhelming and debilitating. The truth would have freed me from that tyranny.
Tell me, if you had been told the truth, would you have averted being spiritually abused?