How to Keep From Spiritual Abusing People

How to Keep From Spiritual Abusing People September 22, 2015

WhenChurchHurtsby Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts

Tell the truth.

That’s it.

You’re probably thinking that’s crazy, but think about it.  If you have been spiritually abused, think about if the perpetrator had told the truth.

“I am not open to questions.”

“You have to support the staff and their decisions no matter what.”

“We do not allow people to express concerns.”

“I’m only interested in getting my own way.”

“Give me enough money and I will listen to you.”

“If you are wealthy enough or have a high enough position in the community, I will befriend you.”

“I am petty.”

“I am vindictive.”

“I am self-aggrandizing.”

“I hate you.”

“I don’t really like people.”

“I don’t want to be bothered.”

“You don’t matter.”

“You don’t deserve a response.”

I’m sure you could add to the list.  In fact, please feel free to do so in the comments.

Can you see what I mean?  If my former pastor had just blatantly told me the truth, I would have either assured him that I would accept him as is, and seen his abusive behavior as it really is – his own problem – or I would have high-tailed it out of there.  Either way, I would not have gotten entrenched for over a decade in an abusive situation that nearly robbed me of my faith.

But, because he/they refused to tell me the truth, and I adamantly determined that I would see him and his proxies in the very best light, I opened myself up to a level of spiritual abuse that was overwhelming and debilitating.  The truth would have freed me from that tyranny.

Tell me, if you had been told the truth, would you have averted being spiritually abused?

If this is your first time visiting NLQ please read our Welcome page and our Comment Policy!

Comments open below

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

13:24 – A Story of Faith and Obsession by M Dolon Hickmon

"I am very glad that I pay absolutely no attention to any of these folks, ..."

Derick Dillard – Saint, Sinner. or ..."
"OKay, will remember that for future reference. Thanks"

Derick Dillard – Saint, Sinner. or ..."
"Oh, just fyi (I know it's probably not common knowledge for most people?) but the ..."

Derick Dillard – Saint, Sinner. or ..."
"I tend to be a little skeptical of him. His "revelations" tend to happen around ..."

Derick Dillard – Saint, Sinner. or ..."

Browse Our Archives

Follow Us!