Quoting Quiverfull: Part 1 – Manipulative Children and Angry Mothers?

Quoting Quiverfull: Part 1 – Manipulative Children and Angry Mothers? September 24, 2015

quotingquiverfullby Debi Pearl from No Greater Joy – Emotional Manipulators

Editor’s note: Debi is again blaming mothers and crying children for crying. Where is the compassion of motherhood or the oxytocin Nancy Campbell keeps pushing. This seems mean-spirited to me.  Tell me what you think in the comments below.

The mother intuitively knows that what she is hearing is not a cry of pain, but of protest. She can’t sort out all these feelings and facts, so she pretends to be concerned. The mother’s pretense and buried feelings are putting steam in the boiler that will later, in private, boil over into anger and irritability toward her child. The mother, in this situation, actually doesn’t like her child. This causes her to feel inadequate because she knows that her attitude renders her unfit to properly mother her own child. The fact is, the thing that irritates and even disgusts the mother about her child is actually a developing character flaw in the child.

By the responses of the mother, this little girl has been trained to be an emotional manipulator. When she can not get her way, she will pretend to be hurt — or take a small hurt and make it into a big one. The mother will rush to the child and tell the other children to let her play or to not run off and leave her. This further compounds the sibling relationships because the other children don’t feel kindly toward a “crybaby” who forces limitations on their play.

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

13:24 – A Story of Faith and Obsession by M Dolon Hickmon

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Allison the Great

    If Debi hates children as much as she does, why the fuck did she have them? Seriously, there are people who absolutely do not need to be around children ever. Debi and her husband are perfect examples of those kinds of people. They only like the idea of torturing children.

    And of course this is mean-spritited. Everything that is written by Debi is mean-spirited. That’s the kind of person she is, right down to every last cell in her body.

  • Nea

    Because that’s the only thing she’s good for and she wants to go to heaven for checking off all the boxes. That’s why she stayed in a miserable marriage too.

  • persephone

    Children, just like adults, will do what they have to do to get their needs met. One of those needs is parental attention and connection.

    My ex is a narcissistic (literally diagnosed as severe NPD), abusive ass, but I can lay 95% of his behavior at the feet of his parents and stepparents. If he had gotten what he needed as a child, instead of what the parents and stepparents felt like giving him, he could have permanently been the sweet guy I first dated and married. My younger son takes after him personality wise, and it’s amazing to see the difference in the two.

  • FrequentFlyer

    Debi had to have several children so Mikey could show the world his manly impregnating power.

  • purpleprose78

    My mom is a narcissist. I don’t hate her despite what she did to me because I know what her mother did to her. So I hear you.

  • Antoinette Herrera

    Debi Pearl loves to project her own hostility toward women and children onto others. She can’t conceive that other mothers are nothing like her, and don’t view their children as belligerent hellspawn who must be broken, body and mind, even into adulthood.

  • SAO

    Well, we’ve all met kids who successfully manipulate their parents. Recognizing the difference between real need and manipulation is hard, particularly when the manipulation might be a result of an unseen, unmet need.

    But this is Debi, whose opinions about childrearing are generally awful and she doesn’t say anything about how to deal with the manipulation, without sensible advice, this is basically saying some kids are connivers and some parents suckers.
    And, who knows, the next para might be about beating it out of the kid.

  • KarenH

    “…Recognizing the difference between real need and manipulation is hard, particularly when the manipulation might be a result of an unseen, unmet need. …”

    One thing I remember distinctly from my son’s childhood were the times when his behavior was just whiny and awful. For NO reason!! Those days were just torture. Nothing I did was what he wanted, nothing he asked for did he accept without a meltdown.

    Until I realized those days almost invariably preceded him coming down with an ear infection or other illness. He wasn’t being manipulative, he actually WAS miserable and didn’t have the language or physical self-awareness to be able to say, “Mommy, I feel sick.” He just knew everything was wrong and it was my job to fix it for him.

    Making the realization, btw, didn’t fix the issue. Except it fixed my perception of the issue. I began to curtail any unnecessary outings or activities and we’d head home and do something quiet (movies on TV and comfort foods–anything he’d accept) and maybe some children’s Tylenol before bed if he even had the tiniest hint of a burgeoning fever.

    I’ve no doubt Debi Pearl would consider him to have been manipulating me, but she doesn’t get a vote.

  • SAO

    Yep, that was my experience, too, that awful behavior tended to signal sickness. Temper tantrums over cookies were much more likely to happen if it had been too long since breakfast, which made it hard to deal with, because you realize hungry kid needs food, but you don’t want to reward the tantrum and you might not be anywhere where the food choices are much better than cookies.

  • Kitty

    I cannot stand whiny, manipulative children, and they almost all are at least some of the time, in my experience. The difference between me and Debi is that, since I don’t enjoy being around children, I don’t have any!

  • Nea

    To be fair, it’s not like children have the power or tools to affect their own lives. Being dependent upon an outside force, their only form of control is to try to affect that force.

  • Kitty

    Oh, I definitely agree. I just can’t stand it. I don’t think beating it out of them is the solution.

  • Tyrone Jones

    Derek Prince has literally in his preachings/teachings called the little girl (and basically ALL women) witches who are doing witchcraft to emasculate the men. He used an example of a 3 or a 5 y/o girl doing “witchcraft” by asking Mommy for a 2nd cookie in front of company.

  • Tyrone Jones

    It is abhorrent & appalling that these men & women are spreading these sick lies, hurting people.

  • Tyrone Jones

    Doubtful that she or her hubs will enter heaven at all.

  • Allison the Great

    I am absolutely dumbfounded at the hatred and mistrust that one half of the human race has exhibited towards the other. I was raised with different ideas, like the ones in the meme below.


  • Tyrone Jones

    You are SO lucky!. I am always freshly shocked at running into those who deny treating women as less then, or with hatred but it is exactly what they do. They aren’t even extremists which is what stunts me. An extremist would be a Ruckmanite religious believer who teach that in the world to come, women will be turned into the male gender. Those few who qualify in making it. Until then, women are only created to be like the Duggar women, the fundamentalist women. Another extremist group, whose name I can’t remember teach that your women must be beaten daily. You’d enjoy the Author Alice Miller who has written on the Hidden cruelties in Child Rearing Practices.

  • Allison the Great

    Women must be beaten daily? For fuck’s sake, why? For what purpose? I will never understand this mentality or why people think that we need to be punished for whatever bullshit reason we come up with. I also absolutely do not think that women need to be submission. We don’t need headship, thank you very much. We’re adults. We don’t need supervision. We have our own heads, we don’t need anyone else’s!

    Like I said, I’m dumbfounded that half of the human race is seen as less than human. No amount of ejaculations of “because Gawd” is going to change my mind. This shit has to stop.

  • Tyrone Jones

    I’m with you 1 million percent. I mean, I can explain THEIR reasoning behind these beliefs. “Their” being those who live these beliefs out but in no way do I share them at all. In no way do I understand why or how they get behind these beliefs. The way I see it is that sick people catch on real quick how to control others using God & fear, preying upon the general masses of us who are kind hearted, willing to please, in fact, trying very hard to please the God they shove down our throats. Then, they blame us so they can continue freely, with little, to no consequences with their bullying & evil acts. Hey, it’s worked for millennium, & they blame us or God or both.