by Michelle Duggar in her blog on the Duggar Family website – Michelle Duggar’s Marriage Advice
Editor’s note: To be fair she’s not come out and mentioned Anna or her son Josh by name, but if you take her marriage advice and measure it against what has happened with Anna and Josh it is absolutely blaming Anna. There have also been some reports in the tabloids that Anna Duggar took her children and went to stay with her parents in Florida after Michelle and Jim Bob allegedly blamed her for Josh’s infidelity. This is shameful. Anna likely did nothing to cause Josh to cheat, he’s proven many times in the past years that he already had some twisted sexuality problems before he married Anna. Typically his parents ignored his problems and didn’t get him real help at a point when it could have helped, they chose to push it all under the rug, deny it happened and sent him to an unhelpful ATI program. Is it too late for Josh to turn it around? One thing seems for certain, the smartest thing Anna could do is to get far, far away from her in-laws and break off her relationship with Josh.
She told me: “Michelle, I know you’re so excited. You’re a bride-to-be, but some day you’ll be at this point. I’ve been married three years and I’m still happily married. I have one child, we’re expecting our second and I’m big pregnant. You’ve got to remember this. Anyone can iron Jim Bob’s shirt, anybody can make lunch for him. He can get his lunch somewhere else. But you are the only one who can meet that special need that he has in his life for intimacy. You’re it. You’re the only one. So don’t forget that, that he needs you. So when you are exhausted at the end of the day, maybe from dealing with little ones, and you fall into bed so exhausted at night, don’t forget about him because you and he are the only ones who can have that time together. No one else in the world can meet that need.”
“And so be available, and not just available, but be joyfully available for him. Smile and be willing to say, ‘Yes, sweetie I am here for you,’ no matter what, even though you may be exhausted and big pregnant and you may not feel like he feels. ‘I’m still here for you and I’m going to meet that need because I know it’s a need for you.’ ”
I’ve realized the sweetness of that through the years. While I am always joyfully available for him, in turn, he’ll lay down his life in any way. He will sit there and listen to everything I need to tell him because he knows that I’m there for him, too. I’m meeting his needs, he’s meeting my needs. We’re willing to be there for each other. And each one of us has different needs in a marriage relationship and that’s what’s so precious. I’ll share this advice with Jill so she knows that she’s got to be a wife first and then later, Lord willing, she’ll be a mother. Her responsibility before God and Derick needs to come first. It’s not just me and the Lord; it’s me and the Lord and my husband.