Quoting Quiverfull: Don’t Ask Your Wife About Foreplay or Technique?

Quoting Quiverfull: Don’t Ask Your Wife About Foreplay or Technique? October 21, 2015

quotingquiverfullby Biblical Gender Roles from Biblical Gender Roles.com – How a Husband Can Enjoy Sex That is Grudgingly Give by His Wife

Editor’s note: This alone may be one of the worst pieces of marital advice given by this man. Of course you should talk about these things if something isn’t going right in the bedroom instead of faking that it’s wonderful. Eventually the fakee is going to be fed up and explode on the one insisting she fake it. Recipe for disaster like so much marriage advice given in the world of Evangelical Quiverfull. If you are doing it wrong and your wife tells you this you should listen!

Women don’t always want to talk to you about specific technique in most cases, they just want to show you what they want and you need to watch for her nonverbal guidance during sex. If your wife actually expresses a desire to talk about some specifics when it comes to foreplay and the act itself than by all means have that conversation with her.

You need to talk to your wife about helping her with her desire, but I am talking about things outside the act of sex itself. I mean ways you can help her relax BEFORE sex so she will have an easier time mentally preparing herself for sex.

But what you don’t want to do is constantly annoy your wife for “scorecards”.

Things like “So what was my rating for that time babe? Or “Did you like that special thing I did?” or any of these types of things will annoy and bother most wives.

Should your wife complement your sexual performance? Absolutely! But if you have to ask for a compliment then it’s not really a compliment is it?

Your wife knows you love her. She knows you want to please her. If she has accepted the truth that she has to understand her own body and then show you the way she will do it. You just need to do your best to watch for her signals and simply enjoy that your wife is trying to please you and make you feel loved!

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

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  • Friend

    Annnnd, he knows about sex with “most wives” how? For the record, I have not had sex with “most husbands,” and I have no idea what they want.

    “Things like ‘So what was my rating for that time babe?’ Or ‘Did you like that special thing I did?’ or any of these types of things will annoy and bother most wives.”

  • Antoinette Herrera

    Shorter El Gran Pendejo: if the lady enjoys what’s happening in the boudoir, you will magically know. No need for communication.

  • Nefercat

    “…so she will have an easier time mentally preparing herself for sex.”
    “mentally preparing herself for sex?” Seriously?
    Maybe she should just lie on her back and think of England. (h/t to Queen Victoria)

  • Saraquill

    He lost me at “scorecards.”

  • Catherine

    “I mean ways you can help her relax BEFORE sex so she will have an easier time mentally preparing herself for sex.”

    Like helping out around the house so she’s not so tired at the end of the day?

  • Astrin Ymris

    It reminds me of how rapists think they “know” that a woman wants to have sex with them… regardless of her protestations to the contrary.

  • Rachel

    He just doesn’t like being critiqued in bed–he probably think it threatens his masculinity. Feedback is a good thing, it means she’s into being in bed with you and feels comfortable showing you how to please her.

  • Nightshade

    Nope, it’s the only thing he cares about.

  • FrequentFlyer

    If your wife has to mentally prepare herself to have sex with you something is wrong. I don’t have to mentally prepare myself self for good things. This sounds more like getting ready to do the taxes or have a spinal tap than having grown up fun after the kids go to bed. If she has to steel herself to face it, you’re doing it wrong!

  • KarenH

    It’s amazing to me that he’s only been divorced once. Or perhaps, that he’s been married twice. Even *I* have better interpersonal skills and I can be remarkably dim that way.

  • Jenny Islander

    And the score card afterward thing–if she doesn’t feel comfortable telling you right then and there, why?

  • Anonyme

    “She knows you want to please her…”
    Riiight. You have an entire blog posts dedicated to what amounts to raping your wife, Mr. BGR. It’s pretty clear you don’t give a damn about pleasing her.

  • Aloha

    My husband and I often talk about / rate / admire our sex after the fact … and make plans for the next time :o)

  • BlueVibe

    What is it, Opposite Day?

  • Leesha

    Weirdest. Blog. Ever. I just had a binge-read (horror fascination) of many of his old posts. Sounds like he is in an unhappy, sexless marriage, and his blog is where he vents his frustrations. And then, other “Godly Christian Wives” jump on the comments to affirm and commiserate with him. Weird, weird, weird.

  • Allyson Smith

    He straight up admitted in the comments that he’s writing this blog as a sexually frustrated husband who’s just got it so hard because his wife has said that sex isn’t very important to her personally and has chronic back and neck pain that’s so bad that it’s kept her from doing the nursing job that she loved, migraines, gastro-intenstinal complaints, and depression and anxiety resulting from her disability. Now, you might hear about all that his wife is going through and feel sorry for her, but apparently he’s the real victim here because his wife never appears really into it when she puts out (which he says is pretty frequent now, regardless of if she’s feeling physical pain from her many health problems or if she’s in a bad place mentally due to her depression and anxiety). It’s really amazing that he doesn’t appreciate how much she is doing for him even though she doesn’t appear to be very interested in it.

  • Allyson Smith

    Yeah, he only wants to please her so that he can feel like a real man and get his ego stroked along with his dick. It’s not about her at all. If it were, he wouldn’t be urging wives to fake it.

  • AuntKaylea

    “If you want to improve your relationship, stop communicating!” is simply the world’s worst relationship advice.

  • ConcepcionImmaculadaPantalones

    The best way to prepare the wife for sex is to walk in and say “Prepare thyself!” …that way she can get her purse and keys and go out for the evening while he has sex with himself.

    At least, that would be the case if I were married to Mr.-all-about-his-penis.

  • AnonCar

    Somehow I visualize a cartoonish dude naked except for a cape standing in a doorway hands on hips and pelvis thrust forward while speaking in that weirdly strained hero voice.

  • Nightshade

    The new supervillian, Penis Man!

  • ConcepcionImmaculadaPantalones

    Hey, if that’s your thing, you do you. 😉 But yeah, visualizing whatever one considers a jerkface who thinks it’s a-ok to have sex with an unwilling woman as long as you don’t look at her face because seeing that she’s just tolerating the sexing kills his mood, and ta-da.

    BGR is lucky he’s not married to me or any of the other ladies here, because we’d be having *NONE* of that nonsense.

  • AnonCar

    Boy that’s a weird looking, floppy face mask…

  • Joanna_Jordan

    Sorry laughed out loud at that one. Oh so true, or I wish!