Review Part 2 – “Spanking, Why, When, How” by Roy Lessin

Review Part 2 – “Spanking, Why, When, How” by Roy Lessin November 23, 2015

spankingContinued on from yesterday here are the words of others that have been raised using this method from Roy Lessin’s books.

My life has been full of pain and anguish due to Roy’s methods. Your daughter is happy because children will be whatever you ask them to be after hitting them. I would have thought someone strange for telling me my parents were cruel too when I was six, twelve, or even 15 years of age. My parents were my world when I was a kid. The horrible affects of Roy’s spankings will probably not show up until it is too late. You will have already made your parental choice and the damage will be done. I was a happy child or so everyone thought. Inside I was torn up and didn’t really understand why until years later. I was the kid that everyone pointed to as proof that Roy’s methods worked. As a child I did what I was told with a smile on my face. No one says that I’m proof now.

Your daughter will be grown and will have endured your Roy Lessin spankings. She may, as others have, marry someone who at best will dominate her at worst hit her to keep her under control. She may choose to stay because she has become use to violence. After all being hit won’t be new to her.

From my own personal experience both with Roy’s book and Roy himself, you are following a method that has hurt not only me but a handful of other children who grew up with me. The children at Outreach back in the day when Roy and his teachings were in full swing. If you don’t believe me, ask Roy what happened to all those Outreach children 18-20 years ago. The ones whose parents hit them using Roy’s specific method that they called spanking. The same ritual that called for prayer and whose justification came from scripture.

Another one

What author Roy Lessin refers to as “spanking” throughout his book would be more accurately characterized as “whipping” or “flogging.” He advocates a flexible switch and whaling away until the child’s “cry of anger” turns into a “cry of repentance.”

But this “cry of repentance” has nothing to do with actual repentance. It is the cry of anguish of a creature broken by torture. Any child thus treated would emit a “cry of repentance” after enough lashes had fallen, even if the child actually wasn’t guilty of anything. This is not about “repentance,” it is about torture.

From the husband of someone raised with this type of discipline

How Mr. Lessin can continue to peddle this book and his views after reading the stories of Beth Fenimore and others who were raised by these methods shows his lack of discernment and possibly complete lack of the Holy Spirit at all. This book is based on the same biblical misinterpretations that all the other child beaters in fundamentalist Christianity, like Fugate, Pearl, and Tripp, so confidently and foolishly use to support their cases.
My wife grew up in the horrors of the Independent Fundamental Baptist/Independent Fundamental Church circles. The effects and damage is nothing short of staggering. It was a regular occurrence at her church for children to be dragged out, begging for mercy, only to be savagely beaten by their parents, with dozens of lashes. The effects on the souls and bodies of my wife, Mrs. Fenimore, and other children is akin to the damage to Hiroshima and Nagasaki after the atomic bomb.

Another lady raised by the rules in this book

I have read this book more than once. My mother raised me according to the principles set forth in this and Roy Lessin’s other books, except I was spanked on the bare legs instead of the bottom. She meant well and truly cared about me. She didn’t raise her voice at me or spank me “in anger.” However, I was spanked with a dowel rod for every infraction, including refusing to hug after a spanking. No “disrespect” was tolerated which meant I had very little avenue for the expression of negative emotions except stuffing them down. This back-fired when I became violent towards other children for a time around age ten and as a teenager when I had episodes where I would violently hit myself and destroy any possession I cared about that was breakable.

Because of the emphasis on perfection and because of the constant drumming into my head that all the spanking was out of love and done for my own good I believed I had an idyllic childhood and a mother worthy of sainthood and that my depression was all my own fault for not being “cheerful” enough. When I had children things just got worse. My mother gave me this book when they were toddlers. I didn’t want to spank them but I had been trained that if I didn’t I was disobeying God and I didn’t love them. I did not spank as early, as hard or as often as I had been spanked but I felt horrible inside when I did spank. I found myself getting unreasonably angry with my children when they disobeyed because I dreaded “having” to give them a spanking. Finally, I found help for a different way of parenting at a website for gentle Christian mothers. My children and I still have a ways to go in healing our relationship but we have already come so far. It has amazed me how much I learn about them and how much more I can help them when I take the time to look for the WHY of their behavior instead of masking the problem with a spanking.

People often use the argument that spanking doesn’t work. I haven’t found that to be true. Consistent spanking does work in the short term if your goal is a smiling little copy of yourself who does everything you say and who doesn’t know how to say no to anyone who plays the authority card. Long term, it leads to depression, anger, fear, lack of personal boundaries, and if healing is not sought, violence.

Second call for anyone wanting to do a chapter by chapter review of this book. Please let me know at suzanne.calulu@gmail.com and I’ll see that you get a review copy.

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