Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – How Do I Tell Him?

Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – How Do I Tell Him? January 13, 2016

AnsweringAnother installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical, rational and the best possible solution, in other words 180 degree turn from Debi and friends answers. As always  all spelling and grammar in the posting is unchanged from the original author.

On to today’s question:

How do I tell him?

Hi, i’m 17 and really like a nice christin guy (he is 20). But when I was 9 something terrible happed to me. I was a goody-good girl and my friend (who I never really like) thought because I was nice to her I like her in a loving kinda way. I didnt know anything. I felt it was wrong but she was a pasters daughter so I thought she right I’m wrong. She would use God’s word and would tell me look its right its in the bible. I told my mom but she didnt believe me. finally I told her I wasnt doing it anymore. and she left me alone for 3 months or so but she told her dad and BOY was he MAD…. at ME :/ he sat down and talk to us saying it was my falt and blaming me. I cried the whole time. I was 12. the thing is he told me this is wrong with GIRLS. true but when i was 12-13 its was not right for me and a guy to do this ether.

A young boy started to show intrest in me i thought this was okay when I was 14-15 I knew it was wrong. I was seeing that God tells us that are heart is wicked and he was telling me to lissen to my heart. I trusted God. stated reading Preparing to be a help meet. Thank God!!!

Some night I cry all night long because I wonder will anyone ever marry me? Can he for give me? How do I tell him? I not pure. Im not whole. if i ever get married and have kids I know it will be hard for me to trust any of there friends. My main ? is how do I tell him? should he know at all? should I tell him when he asks to court me or wait a while?

Not 100% sure of what this young lady is saying, but it seems like she might be referencing some sort of same sex experimentation that happened when she was 9 years old, that an older girl preyed upon her and forced her into some sort of physical action she wasn’t comfortable with. Which, of course, would not be her fault, meaning she really has nothing to feel this guilty about. Which is what most of the replies to this young lady stated, that she was a victim of sexual abuse and shouldn’t feel guilty about it. Then the majority of the posters said that she should immediately tell him about this incident. Is that really the best response? What would you tell her?

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