Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – What Is The Balance Between Friendship and Flirting?

Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – What Is The Balance Between Friendship and Flirting? January 10, 2016

AnsweringAnother installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical, rational and the best possible solution, in other words 180 degree turn from Debi and friends answers. As always  all spelling and grammar in the posting is unchanged from the original author.

On to today’s question, and yes, this is the second version of the same question by the same girl earlier in this series:

What is the balance between friendship and flirting?

Hi there~

This is proving hard to ask. : ) Let me try again!

So I’m 19 and I attend a great church. There are several similarly aged guys there who seem to be Godly and honorable, and I really desire to spend time with them as well as with the gals. Yet, because of my previous limited contact with guys-I have no brothers-I’m not sure what is/isn’t appropriate in terms of conversing, etc. I tend to get shy and just kind of fold into myself, unless one of them speaks to me.

Other girls seem to know how to be friendly with guys, and they talk and laugh with ease. Do you have any pointers on what I can do differently? I really like guys in general (!) and don’t want to burn my chances with them because of ignorance and shyness. Yet I also don’t want to be flirtatious or too forward. (I’m not chasing them, either; I feel God leading me to have contact with them and am not sure where that will lead, if anywhere.)

Any suggestions you have will be appreciated! I have been seeking God’s counsel, as well as that of my family, but thought I would try here too. I’ve read Preparing several times, including with my sister and parents, and was deeply encouraged. Mrs. Pearl is a refreshing author! Thank you for your time, and God bless you!

Most of the replies involved trying to parse the exact definition of what flirting actually is. One of the respondents gave a good idea of how to use a common acronym to spark conversation with others. What do you think?

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