Quoting Quiverfull: Part 5 – Blaming Parents Attitudes?

Quoting Quiverfull: Part 5 – Blaming Parents Attitudes? January 4, 2016

quotingquiverfullby Michael Pearl from No Greater Joy – Bad Attitude

Editor’s note: So Michael never goes to the ‘just beat them with plumbing line’ place he usually goes. But on the original page this article is cut into sections with ads for his books and programs that advise exactly that.  He seems to be saying *gasp* don’t sweat the small stuff! This is the final section.

If “the joy of the Lord is our strength” surely the joy of the parents is the strength of a child. If fellowship with God provokes His children to holiness, what will be the result of a child’s fellowship with his parents? The best training is done under the supervision of a smile. There is a time for discipline, rebuke, spanking, and even controlled anger, but such should be temporary signposts on a path of communion that you walk with your children. If they see your delight and appreciation, they will have the courage to try to maintain that sweetness.

Parent, relax. Lay back. Slow down. Enjoy the trip. If you can’t train your children to meet your high standards, lower the standards until they can reach them. We are not talking about the law of God. We are talking about muddy feet, carrying out the garbage, picking up dirty clothes, doing school work, etc.. Put the bar low enough so that with the effort they are willing to give, they can clear the hurtle and finish each day a winner. Raise the bar a little at a time so they can improve, but will always be a winner. If you set the standard, not beyond their abilities, but beyond their willing efforts, you will cause them to cease trying. They will be like the kid in public school who is already behind two years. He cares so much, to keep from being further hurt, he pretends not to care at all. He is just killing time until he gets old enough to quit.

Find a place to confess your sins, and then go smile at your children.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3| Part 4

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

13:24 – A Story of Faith and Obsession by M Dolon Hickmon

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  • Nea

    We’re not talking about the law of God, says the man who recently said to beat children mercilessly lest they lose their immortal soul. Lower the bar, says the man who beats his own kids for their emotions. Show delight and appreciation says the man who has compared children to dogs, mules, rebel army leaders, and demons.

  • Saraquill

    Even if this is the end of the passage, it still feels like a set up for “beat children the moment the leave the uterus.”

  • Astrin Ymris

    I still think Michael is setting up such benign verbiage as an intended Get-out-of-jail-free card against future need… or at least against future bad PR.

    Though I suppose it could also serve a bait-and-switch function (pun not intended). It makes Michael’s methods seem so reasonable and rational; you don’t find out about blanket-training or first-time-obedience until after you’ve already “bought in”.

    If he’s edited out all the references to “beating your child until s/he submits” as well as the advice to up the ante until his method gets the promised results in the actual books and programs themselves… well, that’ll at least be something.

  • Mary

    This passage has been a lot more reasonable than most of Michael’s writing, but there is still a lot of “blame and shame” going on… of the parents.

    It is not really possible to have a good attitude all the time. Parenting is exhausting and frustrating and parents are human.

    Reasonable parenting books acknowledge “You won’t ruin your children just because you make some mistakes. Your children will forgive you if you’re the one who has a temper tantrum sometimes, just as you forgive theirs. It’s okay for them to see that you’re human. It’s okay for you to apologize to them.”

    Micheal’s message here seems to be “You’d better not ever screw up because apologizing would destroy your authority. If your children see you as less than perfect they will lose all respect for you. How can you demand perfection from them and refuse to forgive their mistakes if you are also making mistakes? So be perfect, got it?”