by Anonymous from their blog Necessarily Anonymous – How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Arranged Marriages Part 2
Editor’s note: This is a newer quiverfull marry ’em off while they are young once daddy picks the spouse blogger I found through our old pal Vaughn Ohlman. I’m always dismayed to see Christians so hung up on every single small thing that they have to stop, study scripture and then extrapolate what they’ve read into ever more strict rules and don’ts. That type of legalism is a killer. It doesn’t ‘save’ people from sin, it only makes them sneak around in a guilty fashion.
These penalties seem to be harsh, death in the case of classic adultery. It would naturally follow that the only standard for this penalty or remedy to apply is where the action is clearly in violation. In other words, just for a hand placed on a shoulder or breast, we would not see a death penalty. Nor would such things as mere touching or kissing remove a girl’s virginity. Oral sex (in either direction) would also not make the girl not a virgin. There is no clear line except vaginal intercourse. Yes, this leaves open a lot of stuff. But we know that from Matthew 5, that to even look on a woman to lust after her is adultery in our hearts. While there might not be a death penalty or forced marriage penalty for these cases, we know even thoughts in the heart can violate the spirit of the law. It is more reasonable to conclude that, like we already know, it is not appropriate to have any romantic feelings for your neighbor’s wife. Likewise, it is not appropriate to have romantic feelings for a girl not your wife (and vice versa for girls and not-their-husbands).Based on this understanding of God’s righteous laws, I had to conclude that I had no rights to allow my daughter or her suitor to violate the spirit of the law and Matthew 5. I had no grounds to make one rule restricting kissing, but allowing hand holding or a romantic private phone conversation. Either I allowed all but premarital vaginal intercourse or I protected my daughter from premarital relationships. Some may say this is a false dichotomy, but I would have to ask those detractors to find the place which delineates Matt 5 plus the law and says women who aren’t married can have relationships and what would govern what they can and cannot do with anything close to the clarity I have already shown.
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