by Mel cross posted from her blog When Cows and Kids Collide
Direct quotes from the book are in blue
Like “Preparing to Be a Helpmeet” by Debi Pearl, “It’s Not That Complicated” includes random side notes from young men. Honestly, I have no idea why these are included except to pad the length of the book. There are 14 guys who are quoted. Five of them are the Botkin Brothers. Of the five Botkin Brothers, only Ben uses his actual name. Rather than try to fit the boy quotes into the chapters, I’m going to insert chunks of them every so often.
There is an essay by Geoffrey Botkin at the end for fathers. Geoffrey recommends:
- Ew. I have never had a scripted conversation with my dad about my feelings about quotes from boys and I am amazingly grateful for that.
- Remember that at least one of the Botkin Bros was a whopping 14-years old when these quotes were compiled. Is it fair to expect daughters to work out the “wisdom” of a younger teenage boy.
- I can’t imagine trying to justify any of the questions using Scripture. I’m using my audible verse calls here: Tobit 6:2, Tobit 8:8-18 and Mark 5:9.
- Side story: My mom took a Bible away from my brother and I when we were both in our twenties because we were having WAY too much fun with the Book of Tobit. We were alternately reading chunks of it aloud and ad-libbing a series of action figures known as “Really Minor Biblical Figures!” Tobit would come with a bag of healing fish guts and the family dog. Raguel would have his very own servant and shovel. The Bible disappeared when we tried to figure out what Sarah should have that would correctly signify the amount of sexual frustration that comes from being married 7 times and still being a virgin…..
So, without further ado, here are the guys from Chapters 2-4.
From “James, producer”:
- If guys are so easily lead astray by women, why should they be leaders within society? By this logic, Cleopatra should have been able to rule the world by batting her eyes.
- The Botkin World makes so much more sense since I ran into the younger brothers’ web business T-Rex Arms. They clearly espouse a worldview where every man needs to be armed with a concealed carry handgun at all times and sell plastic holsters and doohickies to help you keep your gun safely nearby. That way, when someone threatens your girl, you can shoot them. Oddly enough, I lived in a much larger urban area than the Botkins do and have never needed to shoot anyone.
- I suspect that “James” is the oldest son Isaac who produced “Investigating History: Egypt” – the pilot of a series that never launched and who seems to mess around with CGI in his spare time.
- You heard him right, ladies! You can be smart as long as you don’t make the men around you feel bad about their lesser skill level! (That’s more “old-school” than anything I heard from my grandmothers – both of whom were far more assertive than the Botkins would accept as proper.)
- Better tip: Find a guy who is genuinely proud of your skill set.
From “Robert, entrepreneur”
A man who longs for a life of spiritual significance will not be charmed by a girl who longs for a life of romantic bliss. The two worldviews are inherently incompatible. If you dream of a life that nourishes the soul with purity, truth and purpose, you will find a life that nourishes only emotions, sentimentalism, and silly fantasy to be quite distasteful.” (pg. 35)
- The Botkin Sisters describe one brother on their website as an entrepreneur – Lucas who founded T. Rex Arms. So…..betting this is Lucas. He’d of been between 18-14 when this book was written; I can’t figure out what order Lucas and Noah were born in.
- His understanding of women is limited to girls who are only interested in weddings and romance and men who want to be spiritual giants.
- So much jargon – psuedo-pious; spiritual hunk; blessed co-labor – and so little substance behind it.
- My two cents: a good marriage seeks a happy medium in most things. My husband and I work hard; we also enjoy each other company and have romantic moments.
- I’m curious how T-Rex Arms fits into a life of spiritual significance.
From “Jack, inventor”
- I think – although I am less confident on this one – that we are hearing from David Botkin here. The voice of “Jack” sounds very much like Anna Sophia, Elizabeth, and Isaac while the topic – “Whine about gendered media destroying relationships!” is a Botkins-family favorite.
- I asked my husband if he could think of any “guy films” where the hero doesn’t get the girl at the end. He drew a blank and said “The hero always gets the girl. That’s at least half the reason he doing whatever he’s doing.” So…not so different from chick flicks.
- I know we’ve harped this one to death – but NO ONE uses chick flicks as a manual for daily life any more than guys use “Deathpool” as a daily guide to living.
- Are you seriously whining about the lack of MALE roles in media? My sis-in-law and I bonded over our fond memories of the homicidal Kai Winn of Deep Space Nine because she was an ambitious woman who was wonderfully angst-free during the 1990’s. It’s a nice change of pace from “stand-by-your man” female characters.
What television shows or movies are you watching? My short list of shows with male characters who are not sex-crazed teens nor Dopey Dads nor romantic leads:
- “Arrested Development” (not moral paragons by any stretch, but not those stereotypical tropes either.)
- All “Law and Order” series
- “Malcolm in the Middle”
- “White Collar”
- I don’t have a strong opinion on “Edward’s” identity yet. We’ll see if he reoccurs.
- Words with the root “man” appear TEN times in two sentences. It reminds me of an improv where someone is getting points for using a word as many times as possible.
- I find it hard to believe that men and/or boys look to women/girls to figure out if the men/boys are being manly. As a women, I adapt my feminine actions to the women around me – not the guys.
- Jack – 2
- James – 2
- Edward – 1
- Robert -1
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