Editor’s note: This last bit makes me feel sad for the author. Marriage shouldn’t be a battlefield that you’re constantly having to toil at to make work. If it’s that much work and stress it’s not much of a marriage there to revive. Sometimes a kind comment has nothing to do with attempting to turn your heart towards anyone, it’s a small thing done by someone that sees you’re having some sort of issue that day, or senses you need a little bit of a lift to get through your day.
I picked up the phone and dialed my husband again… this time, hoping it would go to voicemail. I was glad when it did.
“Hi. It’s just me. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for bothering you earlier when I knew you were busy. I know that I’m technically doing that again now… but I hoped this call would go to voicemail so that I could tell you I love you, and I hope your day gets better. Okay, talk to you later. Bye.”
When Jared got home later that night, I told him about what had happened in the store. I told him that I knew I had two options.
I could entertain the idea of how good it felt to be noticed by this strange guy. Or I could use that man’s words to help me see that I needed to encourage my own husband. I could use the words that had the potential to turn my attention away from my husband to instead help me strengthen my marriage. I could recognize that my husband deserved to be noticed in the middle of his day… and I should be the one to encourage him.
Friend, we are fools if we think for a second that marriage isn’t a battlefield. We are fools if we believe that the enemy doesn’t have carefully laid plans in place to destroy our families. But we don’t have to live as though we are naïve to his schemes. Should you be afraid of every encounter with someone who is not your spouse? No way. But should we let every outside comment and kindness turn us back toward our spouse? Absolutely. We should remember that the love that we crave from our spouse is often the love that we have to give them.
And we should remember that quicksand looks like solid ground until we step onto it and find ourselves trapped and sinking.
QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.
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