Another installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical, rational and the best possible solution, in other words 180 degree turn from Debi and friends always all spelling and grammar in the posting is unchanged from the original author.
Ive just started to train my 6 month old the command no. When she wants to touch an object i say ‘no’ whilst simulataneously flicking her hand gently. She is a sweet natured girl but doesnt seem to understand yet. I do it consistently for 30 mins and she still tries to grab the object. I have to stop after 30 mins because her poor little hands go red and i get worried.
Is this normal or am i doing something wrong? Is it just that shes too young to understand and be conditioned?
Jaw. Drop. But some of the comments are even worse:
I started my first son at 4 months and he understood immediately. I placed two objects of different shapes and colors on his high chair tray. I identified one as “no-no” with a serious face and identified the other as “okay”, with a smile. It only took about four tries for him to get it. The flicking of his hand was never harsh, but enough for him to feel the appropriate amount of discouragement.
My second son was different. He didn’t have the same attention span. When I did that to him, he clearly did not get it. So I left it alone. When he was about 8 months old, he kept trying to reach out and touch a projector screen. My husband said sternly, “no” and lightly switched his hand. He must have repeated that action about seven times before he got it. But once he got it, he never touched it again.
The point is, no child is the same. You have to figure out what buttons to push, and when. Use your mommy super-skills of observation to determine how much your daughter “gets”. You’ll know when the time is right. I would say that 30 mins. might be too long for a 6-month-old. I remember once trying to teach my oldest son to pick up a diaper for me to change him with when he was about 6 months. I totally botched it, because even though he didn’t get it, I kept insisting that he ought to. His wee bum was all red, and I knew that I had gone too far. I also knew that I had to “win”, so I gave him a task that he could do, without him thinking about the diaper-fetching disaster ever again!
Good for you for being diligent to train early. If your daughter doesn’t get it, try another method. Does she notice the flick and look up at you somewhat confused? Then she gets it. Her brain is processing, you just need to follow through. Make sure you give her a “yes” object, so she can differentiate.
My almost-2-year-old can now get out of bed and that is becoming an isue. A couple days ago I spent a whole hour switching him and taking him back to bed every 20-30 seconds before he stopped long enough to fall asleep. Last night my hubby actually stayed up to make sure he stayed in bed. That didn’t give him much sleep. I try not to say too much in the process, just “take a nap” and I put him down and leave. He is a very stuborn one. I don’t know how long this is going to drag out. He is sharing a room with his older brother.
The main advice she was given was to move to a switch, like a tree branch or even a wooden rulers. As long as the marks and redness faded within 24 hours per Michael Pearl. What would you tell her if you could?
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