Another installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical, rational and the best possible solution, in other words 180 degree turn from Debi and friends always all spelling and grammar in the posting is unchanged from the original author.
My husband and I have 4 children ages9,6,4, and 8 months. My husband doesn’t want more children right now stating both income and my health as reasons. However, we don’t want to use birth control and I am trying to use NFP, but a bit lost. I started my period after 4 months of breastfeeding. Then after 2 cycles, no period. It has been over 52 days and a pregnancy test came back negative. I am breastfeeding quite frequently, so I think that is why no period, but that means I could ovulate at any time. I feel like I am failing my husband, I don’t know what to do, I want to please him, but can’t get pregnant right now. I have tried to be inventive, but I know he needs sex. Help
Perfectly natural and normal question if you’re afraid of chemical birth control because of people like the Pearls and Steven Anderson. But one of the commenters goes to a really strange place with her advice instead of saying something sensible like use condoms.
Maybe, he could get sterilized, or you could if you do not want any more children. This surgery is not like taking harmful birth control, and is super reliable. =)
Sterilization does surely have risks, but is not as bad as hormonal birth control, is what I meant. I also meant to give the advice if your husband is saying he wants a form of control other than a natural method. My husband would not want to wait 100hours of my fertile cycle to not have sex, and if your husband is already the kind of guy who is on the edge of the marriage, I would explore your options that keep your marriage. familyplanning.net wants to sell you the book to explain the method the site advises, and I think is a little vague, and at some points misleading. They do not give your the percentages of risks involved with methods. The familypanning.net site also portrays condoms as not effective for stopping sexually transmitted diseases, but natural birth planning offers zero protection against stds, bad case on their part. Also, the .2% divorce rate offered because the natural planning method, is misleading. I am sure the natural planning method does not cause a low birthrate, I am sure the actions of people submitting in love to God and each other does affect the divorce rate, not the method of control. Obey your husband. Plus, I have had plenty of super awesome sex with condoms, if he is not opposed to wearing one. You can also pleasure quite a bit before actual sex, to make the condom wearing experience less of a bad cliche. If you do go the condom route, some men are hesitant because they feel it is not as good for the woman, just give him a good show, and make him know you are just as pleased.Shucks, correction, “The natural planning method does not cause a low divorce rate. I am sure, the action of the people submitting to God and each other does affect the divorce rates, not the method of birth control.”
What advice would you give these women whose husbands seem unable to control their libidos but want no more offspring?
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